Celebrating a Hollow Victory In Your Child’s Sexuality

“Whew,” says the relieved dad. He’s just discovered that his twelve year old boy had pulled Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Edition out of the mailbox and stuffed it under his bed.

You might be wondering why dad is saying, “whew”. It’s because he’s actually relieved that his little boy has a swimsuit edition under his bed instead of a muscle magazine filled with half-naked fellas. Dad has been secretly nervous for years that his little boy might be gay.

He had told himself that his sons propensity for flowers and playing dress up was just a phase. He kept telling himself that straight guys can like decorating and fashion. It’s okay that his son didn’t seem to care much about sports. For twelve years now he had mostly avoided the topic but lived with a foreboding sense of fear that someday he was going to have to have a very uncomfortable conversation.

But then he found this blessed magazine. Now, it was clear that junior was into the ladies. “Whew”. He can now relax. His son is normal. His son is just doing what scores of boys have done for ages—admiring a pretty girl. Dad can now sleep easy at night. Victory won.

But it’s not a victory.

If your son is lusting over beach bodies you aren’t in safe territory. Sin doesn’t care by what name it is called. It aims to destroy us and dethrone God. It doesn’t care if your little boy is looking at dudes or ladies—if his heart rebels from God’s intended design for our sexuality, then sin has won the day.

Lust isn’t normal. It feels normal. It’s what every man—save one—has done since the first man fell to the lure of the forbidden. But it isn’t normal. Jesus is normal. Jesus is how humanity ought to be. And he didn’t hide an SI swimsuit edition under his bed.

Church, we aren’t merely trying to win a cultural war. If we raise men that are addicted to porn–but at least not gay porn—then we haven’t won anything. Not even a consolation prize.

Let us instead pursue training our children to be good stewards of this precious gift of sexuality. Let us not settle for the hollow victory of heterosexual sinfulness.


  1. Tarheel says

    Wow. I had a conversation recently with a parent celebrating this this type of “victory”.

    Great post.

  2. Dave Miller says

    I hate this post because it makes me feel guilty. I remember having just such a moment when I caught my boys watching lady lifeguards running on the beach in slow motion.