Thanks to Matt Privett’s comment on my SBC predictions for this post idea. Name five things that will not happen at the Louisville SBC annual meeting.
#1 There will be no tailgaters. Although I had a good plan, my pastor shot me down on this one. Maybe in Orlando.
#2 There will be no challenge for SBC president, although Wiley might get put up just for laughs.
#3 Cornhole will not be adopted as the official sport of the SBC pastor’s conference, although Boyce College hackers may attempt to get this video played during the alter call.
#4 Les Puryear will enjoy being a small church pastor, rather than being a SBC presidential candidate.
#5 Ed Stetzer will tweet 953 times in 3 days, his real friends will consider an intervention.
# Bonus: Susan Boyle will not be singing a WMU fundraiser at the convention, despite rumors.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
Maybe if they allowed #1, the convention would be better attended….and probably a lot more fun.
Won’t be in L-ville, but I can bring a smoker so we can tailgate in style in Orlando!
.-= Tom Bryant´s last blog ..The GCR and Inevitability =-.
I thought about #1, but doing it as a church to raise money for our mission trips since there are no restaurants nearby. I think the idea got shot down due to legalities and rights, blah blah. Oh well, our church didn’t NEED that money for missions. I am glad that we can now pay lots of money to the vendors inside the convention; they need it.
#5a. Ed Stetzer will need a new shirt because the one he will be wearing will develop too many holes in them from all the different nametags he has to wear (Lifeway, IMB, SEBTS, others?)
.-= Will Jackson´s last blog ..Who’s Laughing Now? =-.
Will, I assumed you were referring to the holes in his shirt from all the shots he takes from various corners of SBC life…
.-= Micah Fries´s last blog ..Welcome Anderson Family! =-.
Does Ed take a lot of shots? I thought he was the new SBC poster boy? Everyone loves a poster boy.
Matt, I hope that’s a joke… ;-0
.-= Micah Fries´s last blog ..Welcome Anderson Family! =-.
What’s great is that this wasn’t my intention of the comment, though I do think that your interpretation is funnier.
BTW, either Todd is really quick witted or has too much time on his hands. Either way, enjoying the humor . . .
.-= Will Jackson´s last blog ..What Article IX of the GCR Could Look Like =-.
#6: Seeing as the convention is being held in the backyard of Southern Seminary, nervous Southern Baptists will be careful not to make any lists consisting of 5 points.
.-= Todd Burus´s last blog ..Sunday Devotion- A Prayer over Joshua 10.42 =-.
haha… wow. That was awesome.
#7. Nothing about Calvinism will come up from a non-calvinist, knowing they will be far out numbered.
Now you’ve hit 7 points, like John Piper (a non-SBC) likes to say he is.
A John Piper Southern Baptist Convention!
I didn’t realize I was doing a five point list – it must have been subliminal from my 10 years at SBTS.
I should have made it into a flowery acronym.
#1: Tailgators disenfranchised
#2: Unopposed election
#3: Limited entertainment
#4: Inexorable underdog
#5: Proliferation of the tweets
.-= Todd Burus´s last blog ..Cynicism and The Sinner’s Prayer- Paul’s Instruction =-.
Brilliant!~
1. The Elevation of the founders movement to be the steering committee
2. The adoption of the doctrines of grace as the doctrinal basis of the convention.
3. all colleges and seminaries switing to the king james bible
4. a repudiation of the Replacement Theory
5. Albert Mohler elected President.
.-= DR. RAUL W. fOLTZ´s last blog ..Christianity and Judaism =-.
I can confirm that #4 is accurate!
Les
.-= Les Puryear´s last blog ..Should Followers of Christ Get a Tattoo? =-.
I felt bad for you last summer. Under the radar should be more fun this year.
5 points. That’s funny.
.-= Scott´s last blog ..Big Abortion Bailout Act =-.
Man I love Rhett and Link. I hadn’t watched that in awhile!
I still don’t even know who is being nominated for sure… but if I was there, I would go to the tailgate party if one would happen to start one up
.-= Sallie´s last blog ..Trying to regroup after a virus…. =-.