Urgent Call For Prayer: Ignore At Your Own Risk

by Tony K on March 12, 2009 · 19 comments

Considering our economic trouble, shrinking churches, and loss of political influence – now is the time for prayer. The Southern Baptist Commission For National Revival (SBCNR) has issued the following prayer. 

All Southern Baptists Churches are encouraged to read this prayer aloud at 11:10 AM EST on Sunday 15 March 2009. This national harmony of prayer will certainly turn back the tide of judgement now threatening our nation. You can download a PDF bulletin insert from the SBCNR website. 


  SBC Prayer For National Revival

Lord, we thank you that we are not like other men,
non-religious, Roman Catholics, liberal Protestants,
or even like this blogger.

We never drink wine. We stay away from gays.
We shun the apostle’s creed. We contend for the faith of our fathers
(except that part about the colored people.)

We build posh buildings in your name.
We always vote right. We feast twice a week.
We give Jesus a tithe of all that our churches get.

We ask for your blessing. We seek your protection.
We ask that you humble those people and heal our land.

 


1 Stephen Newell March 12, 2009 at 7:01 pm

I have just been brought completely to tears by this.

Tears of laughter, that is.

Stephen Newells last blog post..Ten Questions for 2009, Final

2 Jerry March 12, 2009 at 7:06 pm

Satire is one thing, but…

Jerrys last blog post..Time Magazine Article

3 Sallie March 12, 2009 at 7:14 pm

Hmmmm….

Sallies last blog post..Vision Forum Specials!!!

4 Joe Blackmon March 12, 2009 at 7:21 pm

Ok, honestly I can’t tell. Is this supposed to be making fun of IMonk or of those who disagree with IMonk? Serious question, yo.

Joe Blackmons last blog post..Matthew 6:2-4 Shh, it’s a secret

5 Dr. Paul Foltz March 12, 2009 at 7:22 pm

It sounds like the Pharisee. ”God i did this, and I am not that, so bless me.”

6 Dave Miller March 12, 2009 at 7:40 pm

Wow, Tony,

After this, they might make you move to Enid.

Dave Millers last blog post..Only Sinners Get a Savior!

7 Andrew J. Nicewander March 12, 2009 at 8:31 pm

Zing.

Awesome.

Andrew J. Nicewanders last blog post..Christianity Today on SWBTS and Calvinism

8 Todd Benkert March 12, 2009 at 9:18 pm

Way too cynical for me…and not at all representative of any Southern Baptists I know.

9 Alan Cross March 12, 2009 at 11:39 pm

God, I’m glad I’m not like the person represented here. I can’t stand people like that. I am much holier and more relevant than the hypocrites represented in this prayer. Thank you that I’m not like them!

;)

Alan Crosss last blog post..If You’re Going To San Francisco . . .

10 John Stickley March 12, 2009 at 11:55 pm

Nice, Tony. LOL!

11 The Archangel March 13, 2009 at 4:43 am

We must all be ever-vigilant. For even if we despise the thoughts in the above post and say “we could never be like that,” we, like Peter, may hear the rooster crow for us.

God grant us the grace to be gracious because it is well within all of us to be a Pharisee.

Blessings,

The Archangel

The Archangels last blog post..Offering Our Children to Molech

12 Dr. Paul Foltz March 13, 2009 at 5:09 am

The Archangel;
Amen. We are not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to think.
Each one has the capacity to act as a Pharisee, and to be judgmental of others.
We need to judge ourselves, and agree with Paul, that in our flesh dwells no good thing.

Dr. Paul W. Foltz

13 Tony Kummer March 13, 2009 at 7:25 am

That is just the problem of confessing the faults of others, we invariably throw in a few of our own.

14 Tom Bryant March 13, 2009 at 9:37 am

Tony,
Nice Prayer! I am adding that to the test of my Sunday morning pastoral prayer. :-)

15 Jeremy Lucarelli March 13, 2009 at 10:52 am

Wow. Throw in a couple of alliterations and you’ve got yourself a holy slap in the face. I’ve been studying Jeremiah for the past couple of weeks. Chapter 7 and 23 really hit at this same issue. Check it.

Jeremy Lucarellis last blog post..The Siren’s Song

16 Dr. James Willingham March 13, 2009 at 11:25 am

Hardly worth a comment, since it is obviously not a true reflection of Baptist views. If satire, it seems that God has saved us from a satirist not worth his salt.

Dr. James Willinghams last blog post..The Climax of the Reformation

17 Dave Miller March 13, 2009 at 12:24 pm

Here’s my question:

I wonder how many SBC pastors will NOT get the joke and actually read this prayer on Sunday?

Dave Millers last blog post..Thorns on a Rose: An Analysis of Dr. Yarnell’s Sermon

18 Andrew J. Nicewander March 17, 2009 at 8:21 pm

Any word on how many people prayed this?

Andrew J. Nicewanders last blog post..Beannachtaí na Féile Pádraig oraibh!

19 Jim Pemberton March 18, 2009 at 4:03 pm

I can tell you that WE didn’t read this prayer at MY church. We’re WAY better than those who actually thought Tony was serious. Psshh. I mean, those pastors who actually missed the Pharisee reference are really daft! They don’t know that they are praying the prayer of the Pharisee! I’m so glad we have better discernment in MY church!

Jim Pembertons last blog post..How Can God Be Glorified Through Limited Human Will?

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