My husband is one of those pastors who could preach on no matter what happens with children, or cell-phone rings. Just never seemed to affect him one way or the other. We’ve had it all from screamers, to parents trying to teach their children. Sadly, people don’t realize they need help to encourage them to teach their kiddos how to behave in church. I remember some moms who would tell me that they might as well stay home as bad as their (own) children were in church. They couldn’t concentrate on the message when they were struggling to keep their little ones from crawling under the pews. But I’d just encourage them to keep coming back and keep trying. Kids aren’t going to get better at sitting still or being quiet in church by sitting home playing with their toys.

One thing I’ve done is commend parents who are in church who are worshipping as best they can with the little ones. I try to say something nice to them before they leave. Hopefully if we all do something like that, then it would offset the negative experiences they have.

Thanks for bringing up this subject, Sallie. It helps us all to be more aware of ways we can encourage moms. I live in a military-rich town also. I’m so grateful for our military moms and dads whom we can serve as they serve us. selahV
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seat nazi’s.. that’s cute

GF,

thanks for the history lesson!!
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Sallie
.-= Sallie´s last blog ..Delight Directed Learning =-.

I purposely wrote the post because I’ve seen it happen so often that I think most folks don’t necessarily realize the tone of voice or attitude they project (i.e. grumpy old fart). I was trying to be a little funny with the “take a hike” part at the end. I do hope that came through!

My husband and I have went to specific folks and tried to gently tell them what was wrong with the way they spoke their thoughts to these younger folks. Also, my husband recently brought it up in a deacons meeting because that was what he was asked to do after speaking with our pastor over a more recent incident. The meeting went pretty well from what I understand.

I have to admit my husband and I sit with our children towards the front of the santuary. Still, though, Í have never heard a child in church be so disruptive with screaming that the parent didn’t take them out after just a minute or two. Too often what I have seen is that young families are being told to take their children out when a baby is simply coo-ing or laughing. Many times this is because all the folks AROUND the baby are making noises or trying to get baby’s attention. This isn’t the baby’s fault or the parents. Maybe if we see that happen, we should aproach that grown-up and tell them their behavior was disruptive.

I think the matter really does for the most part come down to the way the pastor wants to shepherd his flock and if that pastor likes children in the service and wants to make them feel welcome, then that is where we take our cue. It is undermining his authority as pastor when he tells folks “Hey, I love hearing the babies during the sermon.” and then we tell folks we couldn’t pay attention.

If we see a young family being told their baby was too disruptive, then we can offer to help by sitting with them, especially if it is a younger single (or temporarily single in case of military wives or so forth) mom with more than one child. If you are a seamstress, or you can afford to buy some to share, a handkerchief doll or similar “silent” toy would be a nice item to keep in your purse, or to give a young child sitting in your proximity. Bright and bold cloth books with lots of textures are usually a big hit and stay quiet even if thrown down.

If you see someone approach and tell a family rudely (maybe its only slightly rude or maybe it is someone well known in church for their “bluntness” but of course the visitor doesn’t know that) that their child was bad, then maybe you could approach the “teller” and let them know that perhaps they don’t know all the circumstances in a young family and that it is more Christ-like to offer help during the service than to just suggest the nursery. I know personally I kept my children out of nursery before because there was a hitter/biter in there and it was better for me to have my children with me becuase approaching the parent of that child didn’t work at that time. Eventually the problem was solved but I wasn’t going to wait through the lenghth of time that process took.

Does that make sense? Is it enough of an answer? Let me know if not and I’ll give more

In Christ,
Sallie
.-= Sallie´s last blog ..Rootbeer.. YUM!!! =-.

Just kidding.

Having said that, the better part of a worship service involves hearing so having a baby wailing in the service would be a distraction. The seat nazis should be reminded, however, that there is a big difference between wailing and making soft baby noises.