The Baptists are Coming

by Unappreciated Pastor on June 6, 2014 · 8 comments

The Baptists are coming- Don’t be scared

The Baptists are coming- I hope you’re prepared

The Baptists are coming- We won’t stay long

The Baptists are coming- You better hold on!

You’ve heard a lot about us, but now you get to see

The chicken fryin’, gospel cryin’, SBC

Led at the head by a man named Luter

He’s a fast preachin’ , people reachin’

Real straight shooter.

Who we are and what we do

Might come as a big surprise to you.

We don’t handle snakes, we don’t hate people

Our women wear pants & we count them equal.

We believe in the Scripture and the fall of man

We believe Christ died & He rose again

We believe everyone is in need of grace

We believe there is hope for the human race.

Just to keep it real, we’re stronger in the South

A church on every corner in some of our towns

But we’re doing our best to make a change

We’re sending missionaries to the northern states.

They may speak with a twang & drink sweet tea

But they’re compelled with a love for humanity

So Baltimore, here we come

We got our wife, our kids and a few deacons

We’re gonna ride in your cabs, stay at your inns

Eat at your diners and leave big tips

I hope when we’re gone and you think about us

You’ll be convinced that the way is through Jesus!

The Baptists are coming- Don’t be scared

The Baptists are coming- I hope you’re prepared

The Baptists are coming- We won’t stay long

The Baptists are coming- You better hold on!

 

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Bob Browning June 6, 2014 at 9:27 am

PRICELESS!!! Thank you “Unappreciated Pastor”! That was great!

Reply

2 andy June 6, 2014 at 9:52 am

What do you think the chances are of getting Lacrae to perform this?

Reply

3 Tarheel June 6, 2014 at 10:46 am

At the SBC?

About as likely that the crowd at the convention be made up primarily of non Caucasian young people.

Reply

4 Adam G. in NC June 6, 2014 at 10:48 am

Zero. He has talent.

Reply

5 Tarheel June 6, 2014 at 1:15 pm

Hmmmm, Adam G. – What are you trying to say about the music at the conventions?

;-)

Reply

6 Dapreacherzwife June 6, 2014 at 10:52 am

Good one! You left out a verse tho!

We don’t drink whiskey and we can’t buy wine
But we drive through the mountains in search of moonshine!!
;)

Reply

7 ed elliott June 9, 2014 at 6:38 pm

And…while we’re here we might deny our thirst,
but we’ll gulp that new wine on the New Earth!

Reply

8 D. L. Payton June 6, 2014 at 5:18 pm

and there is always

We don’t smoke and we don’t chew
And we don’t go with the girls that do.

Reply

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