We’ve all heard it before. You know. “What’s the matter with youth today?”
No matter the generation, folks have their “tisk, tisk, tisk” commentary. When I was growing up, they shook their heads at kids who wore their hair like Elvis, and dressed like characters from “Grease”. Then came The Beatles, and kids let their hair grow. I don’t even want to talk about Haight Ashbury and the years of “love” and Woodstock. But in every generation there are “those” kind of kids who give all kids a reputation of being like them. The same is true for youth-groups.
In some churches, the youth meet to have fun. They eat, play games and throw in a bit of time for Bible study, then call it “youth ministry”. And to be honest, in every ministry, no matter how spiritually sound, how mission-minded, there are some kids who only come for the pizza and frisbee and social interaction. There are those kids who sit in the church pews texting, passing notes, talking, giggling, and ignoring the pastor as he preaches. There are those kids who are disrespectful and are troublemakers. There are those kids who show up for mission trips so they can get out of town and go to the beach, or visit Disney World in their off-hours of mission work. But not all kids are like “those” kids. And not all youth groups are like “those” groups. And not all youth ministries are like “those” ministries.
A week ago I had the privilege of watching some of our senior youth group living out their faith in community service. It simply highlights many of the things they do within our church. I wrote about their mission ministry at SBC Encounters [here] . I also wrote about them in my weekly column for our county newspaper (you can read a reprint [here] ). I didn’t write about them because they are the only kids in the world doing something good. I wrote about them because very often, just like in other generations, all you ever hear about teenagers is negative stuff. And I wonder if we took time to spotlight the better, more positive things we see them doing, if more kids would be like “these” kids.
What about your youth? What can you say about them? selahV
Dave Miller (97)
Debbie Kaufman (54)
Rick Patrick (49)
dr. james willingham (32)
Christiane (31)
Greg Harvey (31)
Bart Barber (30)
Bob Hadley (30)
Chris Roberts (30)
Frank (30)
I’ll say that I have awesome youth and a fantastic youth team of godly lay leaders. Some say our youth are the future of the church. I say they are the church now.
I’m all for fun activities and pizza but I believe we sell our youth short when we don’t call them to radical Christ-following and give them opportunities to serve and be discipled.
We have a great youth leader and helpers too. It’s not just a kickball ministry either. He teaches them and makes them think.
Whenever someone asks about what’s wrong with youth ministries there is one word that comes to mind. Parents.
.-= Mark Lamprecht´s last blog ..Southern Baptist Disclosure and Unity =-.
Todd, thanks for commenting. Any specific things your youth are up to in your community? selahV
.-= selahV´s last blog ..OFFEND ME NOT =-.
Mark, glad to hear your youth minister and helpers are quaility folks. Any specifics as to what your teens are up to?
As to “what’s wrong” being parents. I suppose that could be a situation in cases. But just like “those” kids, it’s not all about “those” parents. Our youth’s parents are a large part of the youth leadership that our Youth minister relies upon. In fact, they are ones who help in guiding those youth who do not have parents who are interested because they do not attend church. I guess you can have both scenarios, huh? selahV
.-= selahV´s last blog ..OFFEND ME NOT =-.
What I mean by parents being the problem is that it is with parents where the youth ministry must start. It is primarily the job of the parents to teach their kids. Secondarily, it is the youth ministries responsibility to come alongside the parents.
Our youth aren’t up to anything necessarily special. They do get to do various activities outside the church. My daughter is in the youth group and they recently spent a week in NO doing some mission type work. They are being stretched by learning some church history, specific doctrines along with biblical teaching.
.-= Mark Lamprecht´s last blog ..Southern Baptist Disclosure and Unity =-.
SelahV — Sometimes I think we share a brain. We seem to think the same things close to the same time
I recently was amazed at our youth during their praise team practice. These kids were standing around a laptop playing music and starting and stopping it over and over again so that they could hear the notes. They hadn’t been able to find a tabs sheet for the songs they were wanting to sing for praise time during our church service, so rather than give up, they repeatedly listened and tried until they got the sound right.
On constrast, nearly every adult praise team practice I went to for a while seemed to be a gossip session or a complain about the pastor fest. I quite often left feeling sick to my stomach.
I continually read about how “bad” youth groups are (and I’ve even had bad events be part of our childrens past youth groups) but you can’t just lump them all together in one barrell. Honestly, the good experiences have totally outweighed the bad… kinda like marriage!!
Have a blessed week!
Sallie
.-= Sallie´s last blog ..Blog Friends in Focus — July 28, 2009 =-.
Sallie, I’m grateful someone else has similar things running through their brains. This week some of our middle-school kids are working with a few of our senior-high kids to refurbish another elementary school in town. We just had some kids come back from Jordan where they were serving in various ways there. They were so excited. We also had one gal go work with a Hispanic church in El Paso, teaching backyard Bible school. These kids are ones who are always ready to volunteer. They go visiting on visitation nights and have Bible-studies in someone’s home each week where they memorize scripture.
My grandson has memorized almost all of the book of James and several other passages. And when you see kids memorize and then work…it kinda gives you a major blessing in your heart. God is at work in their lives and it’s good to witness. Now my grandson is learning how to run the screens for morning worship. It’s neat to watch.
I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts. I’m a bit surprised more didn’t have something “good” to share about their youth. selahV
.-= selahV´s last blog ..IS FAMILY HARMONY POSSIBLE? =-.
Sally,
Wow! What a great example for our youth.
This kinda points back to my issue of the youth group starting at home. If this kind of stuff is coming out in choir practice just think about what’s coming out at home.
I think there is something missing for the youth when it comes to serving in the local church. They need to learn what it is to serve others, especially, in the local church. This will help them understand better what a Gospel community is and that they aren’t there to be entertained, etc.
.-= Mark Lamprecht´s last blog ..Religion Saves Free Book Giveaway =-.
Mark, aren’t you happy that someone confirmed your point? I’m also happy that someone confirmed mine. That not all youth are “those” kind of kids. And I’m also grateful (as a minister’s wife who has been in every choir of every church I attended but the one I’m attend today), that I’ve never had the sad experience that Sallie has had with “those” kind of adults.
My point in this post is that there are far more great examples of youth (and adults, for that matter), and if we’d spend more time considering those, affirming those, encouraging those, we’d have more and more fruit we could share with the world. There are probably none among us in the Christian community who cannot tell our sad stories of this one or that one. But as a observation point, to date, only 3 people besides myself have even ventured a thought on the matter here.
I must be the most blessed person on earth to be able to share in all these positive experiences. May my blessings be multiplied to others and God’s grace abound. selahV
.-= selahV´s last blog ..IS FAMILY HARMONY POSSIBLE? =-.
selahV,
I’m actually not happy and I’m sure you know why. The reports say we are loosing our youth. So I have to ask why as I observe. Being a youth minister in the past and having a daughter in the youth group now most of the problems point to the parents.
Sister, you lost me here
.-= Mark Lamprecht´s last blog ..Religion Saves Free Book Giveaway =-.
I am going to say this because it has to be said:
In most churches, what you call Youth ministry is a big joke today. Boyce College’s youth program is and most other youth degrees are only encouraging the same results we have been getting: that we are losing the Youth. Programs, Programs, and Games are the answer to the youths problems?
Out of 10 youth group students maybe 2 could articulate the gospel. In most youth groups the students have no idea what systematic theology, biblical theology, and hermeneutics have to do with them following Jesus.
American Youth Ministry is absolutely pathetic on many levels. I have seen very healthy and very unhealthy youth groups and the healthy ones are far out numbered. There are too many youth pastors with cool glasses, soul patches, and tattoos.
What is the problem?
The parents
The churches
The Youth pastors
and the students themselves.
IMHO, we are 0 for 4 in getting those things right in how they relate to the youth of today. A youth pastor ought to be a PASTOR- not some young hip idiot that can create an emotional experience or thrives off the attention of teenagers. They ought to fit the criteria of 1 Timothy 3.
Parents need to wake up and disciple there own kids and stop trusting these young hip idiots.
The church as a whole needs to rethink how they approach youth ministry and the youth themselves. Our churches need some intergenerational ministries.
The students need to start taking themselves seriously. The youth could have a great positive effect on the church and the Kingdom, even when they are 16, but not when they act as if nothing they do matters until they are 21.
Mark, no problem, it seems like you’ve missed far more of what I’ve written than the one quote I wrote in the comment stream. And since your last comment was so far short of anything encouraging or positive about youth or ministries, then I guess I’ll just leave your indictment against the “idiots” running youth ministries that aren’t youth ministries, the parents, pastors, etc., at that. It appears that it doesn’t matter what I say, it will not give you any hope. I’m glad I don’t live with that same pessimism. selahV
.-= selahV´s last blog ..IS FAMILY HARMONY POSSIBLE? =-.
SelahV,
I do think that comment was directed to me… Sorry if you are offended by the pessimism, but growing up in the youth “ministry” I did and seeing the tragic results and statistics of what we call youth “ministry” today it leads one to be pessimistic. There are a lot of things to be optimistic about, the state of youth “ministry” in America is not one of them.
I am not saying that there arent some great Christ following students out there… What I am saying is that they are by no means the norm and that is largely due to the reasons I stated earlier.
selahV said
Not only have you misquoted me, but you’ve misrepresented me and you’ve impugned on me a negative outlook about my life of which you know very little about.
I did not call anyone an idiot. Nor did I deny that said ministries were “youth ministries”. I don’t live with pessimism, but I’m glad you some how know me in my life and ministry where you can pronounce such judgments.
I was only asking in my last comment about what you meant about that paragraph concerning giving people hope. It really didn’t make sense to me.
Any other special revelations about me that you’d like to share?
.-= Mark Lamprecht´s last blog ..Religion Saves Free Book Giveaway =-.
selahV,
Now that I see Matt’s comment it appears that maybe your comment was for him?
.-= Mark Lamprecht´s last blog ..Religion Saves Free Book Giveaway =-.
Mark, you are right. I did address Matt when I was addressing you and I can only say I didn’t realize it was Matt who’d said what I thought you said. I apologize for saying to you what I was saying to Matt. That’s what I get for trying to answer comments when I’m babysitting 4 granddaughters at the same time after a day of birthday celebrating in the sun. (No excuse for not reading the name correctly, I’m just letting you know why it happened.)
Wondered why you’d written me twice and felt obligated to say what you said. Now I know. It wasn’t you at all who said it.
I apologize for being blind and causing you any undue stress for “impugning” you.
As far as my comment that you quoted, I was trying to reemphasize what I wrote in my post above: “I didn’t write about them [the youth in my church] because they are the only kids in the world doing something good. I wrote about them because very often, just like in other generations, all you ever hear about teenagers is negative stuff. And I wonder if we took time to spotlight the better, more positive things we see them doing, if more kids would be like “these” kids.”
And, Mark, if we looked more at what kids did that was good (even though we do see their flaws), and emphasized it more often, then maybe we see more and more of the good.
I hope this helps. If not, then I will try a bit harder. As far as sharing anymore “special revelations” about you…I will say, from what I can tell, you are longsuffering and patient with elderly ladies. How’s that?
selahV
.-= selahV´s last blog ..IS FAMILY HARMONY POSSIBLE? =-.
SelahV,
I’m sorry if I seemed reactionary. It was frustrating to read your words, especially, since I was very tired. I should have given you more grace either way. My fault, no excuses.
You know, I think there is wisdom in looking at the good in our kids. We should come along side them and lead them from this angle. We can praise them for their good and explain that comes from their identity in Christ. Ground their good works in the Gospel and build from there.
Throwing some ideas out before I’m away with my bride for the weekend!
Grace to you.
.-= Mark Lamprecht´s last blog ..My Wife, My Helper =-.
Matt, I was not offended by your pessimism. I was simply stating what I saw in your comments about youth and youth ministry. I am glad I do not share those feelings or views. I’ve worked with youth for nearly thirty years in one way or another (mostly in youth leadership)–now, as a senior-adult, pew-sitting encourager who goes to youth and tells them what good things I see in them when I see it. I once wrote a series of notes to a little gal who’d come back from youth camp at age 16 (she’s now in her twenties). She had testified how youth camp had made her see how little she was living for Christ and how she’d gotten caught up in the popularity of highschool, etc. She didn’t know me, and I didn’t know her. I had to ask someone what her name was afterwards. When I began sending her notes, I had no idea what an impact that would have on her. Her mother shared with me later how the notes had kept her on track and she made it through some very tough times because God brought ny notes to her at just the right time in her life. Later, her mother introduced us and she grew in Christ and she’s in college now. She invites her roommate to church. She’s invited others to church. She’s growing and she is not AWOL as a young adult.
I could go on and on, with specifics, but I didn’t write this post to toot a horn. I wrote it to emphasize how spotlighting youth and encouraging the ones we see doing things because of their faith, could help them (and their leaders) feel as though they are important now and that we’d see more kids living close to God and having a reason to come to church after they’ve graduated from highschool.
Anyway…you keep thinking your way, Matt. I’ll keep thinking mine. I imagine what you wrote may have “had to be said” to someone…but it didn’t flip my switch, give any hope or offer any solutions. So maybe my next post here at Voices will make a stab at that. I do have a few questions for you, but they’ll have to wait till later. I need to get to bed because I’m taking 4 granddaughters to the waterpark tomorrow. Will try and catch up later.
May God add blessings to your life and give you greater hope. I’ve found that most of my optimism comes when my mind is stayed on Him Who makes all things possible. When I call unto Him, He shows me great and mighty things which I cannot conceive. When I focus on all the failures in others, the flaws in others and the inadequacies, I notice I miss a bunch of the blessings and don’t do nearly as much encouraging to others as I could. Sorry if I didn’t say what you thought “had to be said”….uh, no I’m not. I think I said what needed to be said in my post.
selahV
.-= selahV´s last blog ..IS FAMILY HARMONY POSSIBLE? =-.
How about we do an interview:
You said you have questions for me, pertaining to Youth Ministry I presume, so go ahead and e-mail me your questions and we will make it into an interview about Youth Ministry. Sound good?
Matt, an interview sound great. that was what I had in mind for my next post anyway. Going to interview several youth leaders. Will be giving you all the same questions. Then we’ll see how it all plays out. Will start on it next week. I’m up with my 11 yr old granddaughter watching a video. we get to sleep in a bit, so decided to chek my email. Will be freed up to get on with the post real soon. Blessings for a good nite. selahV
.-= selahV´s last blog ..ONE GOOD WORD… =-.
Thank You for this essay. It has been an inspiration for me. I was just searching fro school projects. But i found more than that. I was inspired to do good. What would happen to our future if all the children just prefer online games than help the community.
thanks! YOU ROCK!
Theiafaye, thanks so much for your encouraging affirmation. I’m glad it helps you. I can hardly wait to tell my grandsons that I “rock”.
selahV
.-= selahV´s last blog ..ONE GOOD WORD… =-.
Haha:)) I’m sure they’ll enjoy your story sooo much
We also have some of youth group in our Church. This summer, we did not have Adult Sunday school. They were so excited and hungry for the Sunday School to start this Fall.
.-= BibleStudies´s last blog ..Rich Ruler and Jesus =-.
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