I saw a link to this today and thought that it was an amazing asset for bloggers. It is a listing of graphic insults from Martin Luther’s writings. I do not know who compiled this list, but this is a great boon for us.
Instead of making up our own insults, we can just generate one from Luther himself!
Here is the link: The Lutheran Insulter
This does tell us that the kind of interaction we often bemoan in blogging is not new at all!
Here are a few choice entries:
You are like mouse-dropping in the pepper.
You are worthy only to be mocked by the words of error.
You do nothing with all your profusion of words but fight a fire with dry straw.
You are undisciplined heads who out of utter perversity are able to do nothing in common or in agreement, but are different and self-centered in heart and life.
This is my favorite!
It seems I must have liars and villains for opponents. I am not worthy in the sight of God that a godly and honorable person should discuss these matters with me in a Christian way. This is my greatest lament.
This one is just about as good.
What bilgewater of heresies has ever been spoken so heretically as what you have said?
I’m planning to use that one the next time I’m in a kerfuffle. (Get ready, Rick Patrick, I’ve got a few picked out….)
If we make proper use of this, it could completely alter our blogging discussions.
that’s fun stuff … i love the samples you found …
Thanks for pointing me to this, Rick. I’m not sure this will result in any eternal reward for either of us, but it has been some temporal fun, at least.
I will now try to find at least one chance to use these in every discussion I jump into. What do you think about that, you who teach the disorderly masses to break into this field in disorder like pigs!
You people are more stupid than a block of wood.
Dave,
I could always agree with you on this, but then we’d BOTH be wrong!
At least you could have used a Lutheran insult!
Oh, and “Heaven and earth are in danger of caving in because of your heresies.”
Your argument is like a leech sucking logic out of words made from rabbit droppings. As I marvel at the grace God shows by not striking you with lightning, let me remind you that you cannot spell “dumb” without a D and an M!
I am afraid, Rick, that sharing this with you was like giving alcohol to a drunk. Are you enjoying this just a little too much?
mouse-droppings ?
yikes
I can see David has no idea how rather colorful and inappropriate this will make SBC blogging. After all, having followed the Missouri Synod Lutheran folks in their battles with modernism in the 70s (just before SBC battles in the 80s), I can tell you, them folks don’t pull their punches. Their language makes the Southern Baptist set-to look like a ladies tea. I think we had better not use such materials…as Baptists of the South are too much akin to the old west and the fast draw. My Great Grandpappy use to do a fast draw and shoot the… Read more »
(I’m pretty sure Dave started this post and discussion as a source of amusement, not a serious suggestion.)
Yes, and also as a point of interest. We always act as if blogging is some new low in Christian conversation. We’ve got a way to go to reach the level of rhetoric some of our forebears used.
The same is true with modern political discourse. We act as if things are worse now than ever, but the way that early elections were carried on is shameful even by today’s standards.
I am quite convinced that this post is in jest. If this were a serious post, then we would have to throw the recent commenting guidelines (those are some seriously personal insults that Luther used) out the window. If we do that, then someone will come along and say to Dave:
This may turn out to be my favorite discussion ever!
Of course you would like this discussion, you snot-nose!
That falls well below the Lutheran standard!
Your ignorance is betrayed – it came from the pen of Luther himself! You show that you are a bungling magpie, croaking loudly.
The more I read them though, the more some of them might be useful from time to time. Who hasn’t wanted to say this one at some point?
Actually, I think I may have seen a slightly different wording of this in the comments before.
Perhaps you want me to die of unrelieved boredom while you keep on talking.
I’m trying this one out at the next monthly business meeting… I’ll keep you posted.
If only my speech could succeed in killing you, I would happily drone on and on until at least one of us was dead!
Wow.
#Winner
On a related note, it is said that Mozart said the following when he heard of the death of Voltaire.
“That ungodly arch-villain, Voltaire, has died like a dog!”
That is reVolt(aire)ing.
I’ve created a monster!
“Oh, what vain blasphemy to suggest one could create a living thing! Oh, what perverted boasting to envision that the creation would be a monster! It’s time to write some new Dave Miller inspired theses!” –Martin Luther
No, Dave, I think you’ve merely re-animated it.
I was fully aware of the jesting nature of Bro. David’s blog on Luther’s insults, and if you folks will go back and look at what I said maybe you will get it, too.
This reminds me of when I use to tease my wife that the Hatfield McCoy feud wasn’t very serious cause the Caudills (her family name) weren’t involved. Then I found out they were and probably related to both sides,. And I had to quit making comments like that, cause you sure don’t want to upset them folks for historically evident reasons as will be indicated (is it on tv?) over the memorial day weekend. Them thar are touchy people. Greatest friends and family you could ask for, but touch nevertheless. And to think a descendant of Luther’s was a member… Read more »
Your home, once the holiest of all, has become the most licentious den of thieves, the most shameless of all brothels, the kingdom of sin, death, and hell. It is so bad that even Antichrist himself, if he should come, could think of nothing to add to its wickedness.
Oh I forgot to add this. 🙂 JK
Dave, will you be using some of these epithets at the Executive Board meeting on Saturday? I’m truly looking forward to that little kerfuffle!
I may compile a list for general use.
Perhaps you want me to die of unrelieved boredom while you keep on talking.
From The Bondage of the Will, pg. 244 of Luther’s Works, Vol. 33
I loved that quote from The Bondage of The Will.
I was talking to a Lutheran pastor here in town about the insult generator after the baccalaureate tonight and we had a good laugh about it. He shared a couple of his favorites with me as well.
Oh, and I found one that sounds like Monty Python to me.
The quote to end all quotes: “Tell them Dr. Martin Luther will have it so”!
Or, you may not say much, but when you do, you don’t say much.
Luther was a real bulldog for Christ. Sometimes he went a bit (or more) overboard in his language and insults…but it was (usually) in defense of the pure gospel.
It took me a couple of different runs at it to get though ‘The Bondage of the Will’, but I’m glad I finally made it. There’s some good theology and some funny quotes in there.
I love Luther…but I’m not one who is proud of everything that he uttered. But he’d be the first one to admit that he was a real sinner.
Thought I would inject some foreign words – this from Spurgeon in The Soul Winner: If a man has a low opinion of himself, it is very possible that he is correct in his estimate.
. . . if a man has a low opinion of ‘himself’, it may be because he is not yet fully aware of why Christ came to die for him;
or, as C.S. Lewis put it:
“”Christ died for men precisely because men are not worth dying for;
to make them worth it.”
The thing with Luther is that he was easily as hard on himself. Let us try that…