I was very critical, in an article yesterday, of a Baptist church that refused to perform the wedding of a black couple in their church. Some have been critical of the pastor, Dr. Stan Weatherford for his actions. I have not bashed him for two reasons. First, I know he was faced with a difficult choice. He probably wishes he made a different one. But there is a second reason. I once walked in his shoes. It was nearly 25 years ago and I was a young preacher. I look back on my own actions with less than complete satisfaction. I hope I would do differently now. If you have pastored in a racist church, you may sympathize with my struggles there. But with all the discussion, I wanted to share the story of my struggle with the readers here.
In 1987, I became the pastor of a small rural church in Virginia (we had around 125 on a Sunday morning). I was moving from South Florida and expected this pretty little town to be a modern day Mayberry – a place of kindness, community and solid moral values. It was something much darker. It was a (pardon my excessive rhetoric) seething cauldron of racial hatred (among other problems).
When I took the job, one of the deacons assured me that the bylaws had been rewritten to remove any restrictions on black people attending the church. But I found out that the constitutional permission for blacks to attend did not really extend to actual attendance. Black people knew they were not welcome and they stayed away.
I made my views on racism known and people would try to tell me privately that they were not racists. Their efforts to demonstrate their lack of racism made me cringe. One man told me a story about an old black lady (I cannot use the word he and others used to refer to blacks – it was a combination of “Negro’ and a certain n-word that we just don’t use) who used to come to the back door and take the game he hunted and clean it for him. He shared some of the meat with her, so he couldn’t actually be a racist, right?
One day, I said this during a sermon:
Some of you are not going to like heaven very much. There will be black people there!
There was a chill in the air that Sunday.
The crisis came in the summer of 1988. We had installed a basketball goal in the upper parking lot of the church, where I spent a lot of time “schooling” the youth group in the fine art of hoops. (Sorry – the older I get the better I used to be!) We had a lot of fun there.
One day, the goal was suddenly gone. Vanished. It had been raptured and I was left behind. I found out the story later.
One of our deacons found some young black guys shooting hoops on the goal at the end of his driveway, which he had installed for his sons. He didn’t mind them playing there, but he had the idea that perhaps they would have more fun at the church. He suggested they go down there to play. They did.
When men in the church found out that black youths had played basketball in the church parking lot, they panicked and removed the hoop. It was a safety issue, they said. No telling what those young blacks were up to. There was a single lady that lived across the field from the church and here safety was at stake! So, to prevent some black teenagers from playing basketball on our church parking lot, they removed the goal.
That Sunday was the annual business meeting at which we voted on the church budget. I should have known something was up. The place was packed for business meeting with lots of folks who hadn’t been to church in months. You know you are in trouble when that happens. I was told later that the folks had gotten on the phone to “send a message” to the young whippersnapper of a pastor. In the course of the meeting, they took away my raise for the year, they voted down my close friend who was up for election as a deacon and generally put a chill in the air.
I had a conversation later with the deacon who had invited the black teens to play ball on the church property. Were we going to force the issue or were we going to let it ride? We could have brought the matter to the deacons for discussion and then to the church, to clearly declare that racism had no place in that church.
We decided that the time was not right to force the issue. I was not sure whether we would succeed or fail. But I was quite sure it would split the church wide open. And, of course, it would likely cost me my job. I had a wife and two small sons to factor in. So, I decided not to seek to pursue this issue. I continued to say what I felt needed to be said, but I did not force the issue.
With the wisdom of experience, I know think that I should have forced the experience. The unity of the Body is insignificant if we have to tolerate overt sin to keep it going. That is not unity; not really. It is a common experience of sin.
So, almost 25 year ago, to keep unity in the church (and, perhaps, to keep my own job), I made a decision I now regret. What I justified as an effort to foster peace was really more an act of cowardice on my part. I didn’t understand then what I understand now (thanks largely to Dwight McKissic), that racism is not some kind of minor sin we can just turn a blind eye to. It is an offense to the Cross and destructive to the Body of Christ.
I did not take the right stand back then. I hope to never make such a decision again.
Well said, Dave. Thanks for your transparency. I will be praying today for this church and pastor as they obviously will be confronted with some very difficult issues. As pastors, we are not flawless. We don’t get it right every time. And sometimes doing the right thing isn’t easy–but it is always right. Thank God that Christ died for sinners “of whom I am the leader”. I’d encourage us all to call attention to this issue this morning in our churches and pray specifically for FBC Crystal Springs. No doubt they are in desperate need of healing and reconciliation. Aren’t… Read more »
” No doubt they are in desperate need of healing and reconciliation. Aren’t we all? ” this is true . . . ‘If one part suffers, every part suffers with it . . . ” (from 1 Cor 12:26) Should the Church ‘in full community’, as Body of Christ, not offer them the help they need, where will they go? Where? Could not the ‘full community’ first respond ‘as Church’ in the Way of Our Lord, the Good Shepherd? “the Shepherd . . . . carried the weary sheep, and did not cast it off ” people look at those… Read more »
Someone somewhere wrote the following quote attributed to Dr. Hershael York.
“Your repentance must become as notorious as your sin.”
That is inspirational to me; and your article, to me, is a fine example.
Thanks!
I pastored that same church, more than once! Oh, it had a different name every time, and was in a different city and state, but it was the same church. One of the greatest strengths of our Baptist system–autonomy–also creates some of our biggest weaknesses. Any pastor who defies the conventional wisdom of the majority, and often that of a noisy minority, stands to be severely disciplined, often fired–even though that pastor may well be right. And there is no recourse; in fact, it will often immediately and adversely affect his future, as few other than small, student or bi-vocational… Read more »
Served as interim at one such church, pastor at another. It is tremendously painful to hear people you have come to know and love express such racist things. For many in those churches, racist sentiment was a simple reality. There was nothing notable about it, nothing out of the ordinary, it’s simply the way things were. In both situations I found ways to let my position be known, though in neither church was there the occasion for much controversy so I was never put to the test. Fortunately, it’s a much smaller problem at my current church. It was one… Read more »
For the record, it is my understanding that things have improved a lot in that church in this area over the last 25 years.
My thinking on this entire subject has been changed by my friendship with Dwight McKissic. I always thought racism was bad, but I think I’ve seen a little more clearly just how offensive it is.
We all tend to overlook some sins and magnify others. Too often, I think, we have overlooked the stain of racism while focusing on homosexuality, abortion, etc.
“Some of you are not going to like heaven very much. There will be black people there!” Yes and lighter colored melatonin folks will in all likely hood, be a minority in heaven. We all have a lot of dross to remove in order to be purified. As we work through the fleshes melatonin issues we now see the bigotry of soteriology racing to the forefront. It seems the flesh is always ready to dishonor God. How we handle these issues will define us today and in the future. We can learn from experiences of differences in ones melatonin and… Read more »
I have virtually zero tolerance for racism, no matter the race of the racist person. My family was very racist, not all of them, but most. In 1957 or so, I read a book, BLACK LIKE ME, written by an editor (I think) of the Atlanta Constitution. He obtained chemicals which allowed him to change his appearance from white to black, almost daily. Then he wrote of his experiences. This changed my life. Most of my adult life has been spent in a multi-ethnic household. I now live in Mexico, and for 11 months of the year literally do not… Read more »
It was said by Bruce:
“Every day in the US black thugs attack; beat up; rape; and commit acts of violence towards the evil white, based solely on their color. The MSM gives this racial hate attacks a pass. So, most people had no idea until the Trayvon shooting that we are in a race war.”
I do not find the above broad stroke comment helpful at all to this discussion.
BTW what is MSM?
Thank you so much for this and in particular for calling your failure what it was, a moment of cowardice. I helped grow a new church plant in rural Hanover county VA for 8 years and when I pushed on an issue they got a no trespassing order against me by telling bald faced lies. I am a (white) transplant from the north and it has become quite apparent that I was permitted to stay since my money was green, but as soon as I used my voice they rounded the wagons and considered me an outsider that must be… Read more »
Sorry to say, but that sort of thing happens. HOWEVER: we’re not all like that. I’m as Southern as you can get, and as white as you can get without admitting to some “indiscretion” in the family tree. In fact I am a former police officer in Montgomery, Ala, the son of a small town Alabama police chief, and the great-grandson, great grand-nephew, etc., of numerous Confederate officers & soldiers, as well as small slave holders. And I’m not like that. Neither are a lot of Southerners, but like people anywhere, you do find people who lie and groups of… Read more »
John Fariss,
Thanks for your thoughts. If I don’t try I guarantee that I will not succeed.
I also apologize for the disparaging comments I made regarding southerns. I guess you can tell I am still bitter.
I have to add on that the church I discussed was not a SBC. But, the only other church in the area that I want to go to is a SBC but I have such a bad taste in my mouth from that experience and also seeing all the problems in the SBC I am hesitant to even go to the other Church, so I remain unchurched for the past 1.5 years.
if you loved Jesus, you would love His messed up people and find a local body somewhere to connect with. until you develop a love for the family of God, please be honest with yourself and others and call yourself a nonchristian, and not “unchurched.” 1John was written in part to combat the lie that you can “love God” while refusing to love His church. love is a commitment to helping them change while they help you see the sin in your life – not to be confused with just a fondness or sentimental emotional response. yes it tends to… Read more »
Charles:
You said to DRT:”if you loved Jesus, you would love His messed up people and find a local body somewhere to connect with. until you develop a love for the family of God, please be honest with yourself and others and call yourself a nonchristian, and not “unchurched.” 1John was written in part to combat the lie that you can “love God” while refusing to love His church.”
Are you really saying this man should call himself a non christian?
That seems mighty harsh IMO.
Tom If I read him right he was saying “there is always room for one more messed up sinner in the church somewhere. Stop whining and start serving.”
Too many hypocrites use hypocrisy as an excuse for not surrendering to the Lord.
Frank L:
My gripe was him being encouraged to call himself a non christian.
I agree that saying I should call myself a non-christian is a bit over the top, but I chalked it up to hyperbolic rhetoric.
Charles, thanks for your thoughts, and I think I may know where you are coming from since I know that we really should work in our local community. I am definitely a Christian, I study the bible for more than an hour a day, I pray, I proselytize, and I work with people on a national level to help the church be better than it is right now. My greatest god given gifts are in the areas of leadership, speaking, researching and relating and such. For me to use these gifts the best at a local level I need to… Read more »
OK, I just wrote to the pastor of the local SBC church and asked to meet to see if there is any compatibility there.
MSM is Main Stream Media. As far as what I wrote, it is true. In our cities these things are happening regularly. To be unaware of them does not help deal with them. Sorry the truth offends. I will remember you do not wish to hear it.
I do not mind the truth. Your making a blanket statement like you did does not make it the truth. Hope you do not mind me questioning your “truth.”
Seems to me you are just trying to blame one side and that is never the “truth.”
Bruce:
I notice you posted the following twice to me–“Sorry the truth offends. I will remember you do not wish to hear it.”
Doesn’t help your cause on bit.
I’ll say it again just because you say something does not make it truth. Can you prove your statement with evidence?
I had hoped racism would go away. It has not done so, just changed.
There is certainly racism on both sides of the racial fence. However, I believe I see a difference in its origins. White racism against blacks tends to be rooted in segregation, with overtones of racial superiority dating back to slavery and intertwined with the KKK and other white supremacy groups. Black racism tends–I think–to be more of a reaction against white racism. Of course, that does not excuse it or make it right, but I think it does put the weight of doing something first on whites, especially those of us affiliated with institutions that African-Americans associate with racism–southern police… Read more »
Racism seems at times to be a dying evil, and I pray that God will speed its demise. Racism originated way before the KKK (a post civil war invention) ever got started. There was one noted white author in Virginia who committed suicide rather than face the possibility of Blacks being free and possibly treated as equals. At first, when Africans were brought into Virginia, for example, they were treated like white indentured servants, had to work seven years to pay for their freedom, then were free to secure their own livelihood, own property etc. Thus, there were Black property… Read more »
Dave, it took courage to tell your story. But these are the kinds of stories we need to hear if we are going to find the power of love. I am always amazed that when I am faced with doing something so obviously right that I can still fail to do what is right. Over the years I have found I fail to do what is right usually out of fear for the consequences. When you have a family, and especially small children, it seems to make you more willing to give in to fear. I am also of the… Read more »
I think David had a great need to protect his family . . . the people who put pressure on David took advantage of his love for his wife and their little ones they took David’s love for his family and held it hostage . . . and that David chose to protect his family in this matter is understandable for a young man starting out with a young family to care for he was in a ‘dilemma’ and we all face those moments where we are asked to make choices we did not seek . . . I think… Read more »
Christine, I agree with this. When I was going against some at my church my wife asked me to just shut up because she was afraid what the people at the church might do. That is a difficult decision to make.
Dave, I have a question. It’s intended as a thought experiment, not that the answer to the question is helpful, but that the process of thinking it through could be productive. I also don’t intend to criticize any position you’ve taken. So I hope you don’t read anything into it from that point. Earlier, you expressed strong interest in disfellowshipping the church from the SBC. My question is this, since I know you see both sides from the pastor’s point of view: As a matter of principle, should you and your former church have been disfellowshipped from the SBC? If… Read more »
I wish that in the mid 1980s, there were Baptists with the courage to call churches like mine to task for racism. In SB churches in certain parts of the country, that kind of thing was accepted by many.
But the answer is yes. There should have been a standard back then that clearly defined racism and discrimination as unacceptable behavior. On that, at least, we have made progress.
Well, I contact the SBC church in the area and they told me that it would take a miracle for me to get along in their church. Its best to not go, in their view.
Oy vey
That is a bitter pill to swallow–for me, and it must be much worse for you. I am flabbergasted by your news; even though my ministry from 1986 to 2004 was to troubled and dysfunctional churches, I cannot imagine myself telling someone that. I have to wonder if either the pastor is being incredibly honest, if he has taken sides in some power squable and is afraid you might bring clarity and reason to the situation, or if he is so disgusted with a mess he finds himself in that he would recommend Jesus Himself not join that church. Maybe… Read more »
Thanks John, it is indeed a bitter pill. There are some more (they are all 10 miles or more from me, in rural VA), but even my prudish neighbors could not attend most of them. I thought this one stood a chance.
And the Rev was being honest, and I actually appreciate him for that. I don’t want to waste my time and annoy people.
Have you looked for a common theme in your difficulties in these churches? Perhaps there is something that you can work on to be more at peace with the Body of Christ?
Perhaps it is the same reason that I have trouble with all women.
Wait, I don’t have trouble with all women, just a couple….
The first try was lying to people and building an empire for themselves in the name of god. This church pretty clearly stated that they don’t want people discussing a theology different from their own. In both cases I was a threat to them.
I suppose I could just attend church and ignore what they say, but that kind of defeats the purpose, don’t you think?
DRT,
After going to your blog site I can certainly say I’ve found the source of your problems. It seems that you have a detestation for anything orthodox. Given your stances why would you want to attend an SBC church? It seems to me that most people wouldn’t look at you so much as a threat but as a trouble causer.
John Wyle, what part of what I believe do you find to not be orthodox? I think my faith is very orthodox.
I do believe that is a problem, as you suggest, but not in the way I believe you mean it. I am seriously asking what you think is not orthodox?
Well for one your assertions about Paul’s writings that they don’t really address the gospel, the entire book of Romans is all about the gospel. Your beliefs concerning the creation narrative are unorthodox (not old versus young earth). Your view that we will never go to heaven is unorthodox. Your view that the soul is not eternal is unorthodox.
John Wylie, Thanks for responding in a respectful way, I appreciate it, though I fail to do it at times. I think there is a pretty good basis that most of early Christianity did not believe in a soul that was seperable from the body. That is why the gospels do not teach of a soul or that we will go to heaven, though it is a bit fuzzy on that. If you read the article I posted on my blog http://lostcodex.com/2011/05/a-new-universalism-no-one-is-going-to-heaven/ You will see that I researched every occurance of heaven in the new testament and examined whether it… Read more »
If the body of Christ is to be a place where people are not going to be allowed to think on their own, and to back it up with good exegesis then it probably is best that I don’t attend that church. I would never force my views on anyone there, but if given the opportunity to study the bible and understand what it is saying comes up I will state the results of my study and back it up with biblical support. If the purpose of the local church is to simply make people believe what the leaders believe… Read more »
Sorry for writing so much, but I enjoy that you are willing to discuss this with me. Is there really no place for me in the southern baptist church? Is the church dedicated to squelching biblically based discussion for those who are interested in truly studying the bible? Is it not a place to join other people in examining the word to understand what god wants of us and then carrying out that mission in the world? I understand that many pastors just want to keep peace and do what they do. But is that really what is best for… Read more »
….and while you all are so gracious to let me speak here, I have yet to post some of my findings regarding homosexuality. I do not dispute that the bible does indeed teach that male male homosexuality is bad. But given the public controversy surrounding the issue of same sex marriage I have begun an extensive study into the basis for that. My first detailed step has been to research the idea of male male homosexuality in the old testament (there is no condemnation for female female). I have completed my study of the hebrew word tow’ehbah, which is what… Read more »
Back to the topic for this article. Clearly most here believe that we should not discriminate based on race. Dave Miller thought about his position and realized that we should not bow to the pressures of the prejudice of the people and instead we should stand up for what is right and what the word of god teaches. Why would my biblical based views on what the bible teaches be out of line in my local church? Should we always just brush things under the table because we are afraid of what people will say? That is the subject of… Read more »