I have decided that it’s time to take a stand. Below you will find a resolution I will be submitting to the Resolutions Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention for their consideration for our 2017 Annual Meeting in Phoenix, Arizona. Aside from the Pastor’s Conference, voting on this resolution may be the most important thing we do in Phoenix.
WHEREAS, Southern Baptists are a people who hate what is evil and love what is good; and
WHEREAS, Southern Baptists are known for their bold stands against many of the cultural evils of our day such as Disney World, Target, and Starbucks; and
WHEREAS, Bill Belicheat, Tom Brady, and the New England Patriots are a microcosm of all that ails our great nation; and
WHEREAS, spying on other teams in an effort to gain a competitive advantage is rightly understood as cheating; and
WHEREAS, Attempting to gain an advantage by altering the PSI in the game footballs undermines the integrity of the game of football; and
WHEREAS, Cheating is a violation of the eighth and ninth commandments; and
WHEREAS, There are likely many other ways in which Belicheat, Brady, and the Patriots have cheated over the years; be it
RESOLVED, That the messengers to the Southern Baptist Convention meeting in Phoenix, Arizona, June 13-14, 2017, express our strongest possible repudiation of the New England Patriots; and be it further
RESOLVED, That we call on all fans of this God-forsaken team to repent of the unfathomable transgression of rooting for such a team; and be it further
RESOLVED, That we call on all former fans to bear fruit in keeping with repentance by bringing all Patriots merchandise to the altar of their churches this Sunday; and be it further
RESOLVED, That we call on all Southern Baptists churches to hold a special bonfire as soon as possible to properly dispose of all of the forsaken merchandise; and be it finally
RESOLVED, That we commit to help our lost friends, neighbors, and family members who have been blinded by some evil spell put on them by Robert Craft to see the light and begin cheering for another NFL franchise.
Feel free to add your own WHEREAS and RESOLVED statements to this great resolution in the comments below.
