A few years back at our annual pastor’s conference I was sitting around a circle talking to a bunch of young guys. (I shouldn’t mention that the circle was the hotel hot tub, because our readers might not want that mental picture.) I had a sudden moment of realization sitting in that circle. I was now the old, established, voice of experience doling out advice to these young pastors.
When did that happen?
So, I’d like to invite you young whippersnappers to my virtual hot tub today to give you a little unsolicited advice. Some of you are old codgers like me – you can take the day off or perhaps add your own pearls of wisdom. I’m not going to get deep or profound here. You know that you need to study the Word of God, love your wife, be a good dad and all those big things. I’m going to play small ball for a few minutes.
I’d like to focus on a few simple pieces of advice that I believe will help you over the course ofyour ministry. All I ask you is to take a moment and listen. One of the afflictions of the young is that all-too-common arrogance that leads them to believe that their generation has the secrets that the old fogeys never figured out. Consider this, youngters. One of these days, a batch of young whippersnappers will be telling you that you got everything wrong and you need to get out of the way so they can set the world to right. That is the way it is.
The fact is, my dad’s generation didn’t get everything right. My generation has made plenty of mistakes. You young whippersnappers are not going to be any more perfect than we were, and the generation that follows you will mess up just like dad’s, mine and yours. That’s the nature of ministry by fallen, sinful pastors in a fallen, sinful world.
So, all that to say that it may be that I have learned a few things over the years, mostly through my errors, that could possibly help you. I beg your attention for a few moments as I spell some of those things out.
1) Take care of your body.
I didn’t. I was a marathon runner and athlete in my youth. As I got older, I stopped running as much and my time on the soccer field and basketball court got more sporadic, but I kept eating like the marathoner I used to be. As that happened, my waistline expanded and I found myself to be bigger than I ever thought I would be.
We joke about fat Baptist preachers, but there is nothing funny about it. In addition to the fact that it is a public testimony every Sunday of my lack of self-control, my weight affects my ministry negatively. I’m not able to do everything I could or should do, if my body were better tuned.
When I was in my thirties, I would decide to go on a diet and lose 15 pounds just by thinking about it. Every five years, it becomes harder and harder to lose weight and stay in shape. Now I have to work hard just to stay the same weight I am.
Guys, here is a nugget of wisdom for you, learned in the school of hard knocks:
It is a LOT easier to stay in shape than to get in shape. It is a lot easier to keep weight off than to lose it!
I’m not suggesting you become workout fanatics, but eat a salad now and again. Take a walk. Get a gym membership. Don’t let your body fall apart while you invest in your ministry. Your body is a tool to be used in service to God. You will be a better pastor when you are fifty if your body is in reasonable condition. It’s an act of stewardship.
2) Beware the slavery of debt
Chances are, you aren’t ever going to get rich in ministry. I am pretty well compensated by my church, but I have allowed myself to become enslaved by debt through careless spending and lack of oversight.
Debt grows exponentially. You start out a couple of hundred dollars into your credit cards and then suddenly you are drowning in a sea of red ink, being pulled under farther every month. In the last couple of years, until God worked a miracle for us recently, I spent sleepless night after sleepless night trying to figure out how to climb out of the hole I had dug.
And here’s the thing, guys. Keeping track of your finances is so easy today. When I was your age, it was hard. You had to keep receipts and records by hand. Today, I have an app on my phone with which I track receipts and mileage and keep all the receipts electronically. I have Quicken (only $26 at Sam’s Club right now) which has all my bank, credit card and other info in it. I log on, click a button and all my info updates. It is so easy to keep track of your spending now.
Do it! Just do it!
Debt will sap your ministry in ways that you can’t imagine. Don’t let it happen to you. I am not quite a “cut up your credit cards” guy, but credit cards and “easy payments” (biggest lie ever?) are a threat to your ministry and your family.
Saturday Night Live (yes, them) gave some of the best advice on finances you will ever see. You’ve probably seen it, but it’s worth watching again.
3) Remember that your critics are your friends
I’ve seen this all to often, from pastors young and old, but I believe that it is a particular tendency of the young. When someone opposes us, criticizes us, or fails to support our brilliant ideas, we treat him (or her) as if he is an enemy of God and his kingdom.
It’s nice to have some supporters and some friends in your church. But don’t treat those thorns in your flesh as if they are sons of the devil. They are sinful people with problems and you are called to love them, serve them, and help them grow in Christ. Someone can love Jesus and still not support you!
In fact, these kinds of people can be real friends. They puncture your pride (which is sinful anyway) and drive you to depend on God. They can help to reevaluate whether your thoughts, plans or strategies are really all that brilliant after all. They can keep you from becoming lazy and self-satisfied. Every church has these kinds of people. The key is not to run them off but to serve them in Christ’s name.
And that leads me to my next point.
4) You earn the right to lead with love, perseverance and faithfulness.
When you walk into a pulpit, the church gives you a six month supply of leadership bucks for you to spend, just because they hired you to be their pastor. You will spend all of those within that time. The ability to lead after that point is something you have to earn.
Feeding the people from the Word is an important part of that, but you do not earn the right to lead simply by being a pulpiteer. You earn leadership by loving people. Jesus saved us by sacrificial love and you will earn leadership the same way. People need to see that you are the real deal – a man of God, not an actor playing a man of God. They need to see you stick it out through hard times, respond with grace to insult and resistance and continue to faithfully do God’s work no matter how hard it is.
Great damage is done by men who try to force an agenda on a church when they have not earned the trust of the people, when they have not earned their leadership bucks.
I will probably think of some things I wish I’d added to this, but this is enough for now. Thanks for sitting in the hot tub with me! Hope some of what I said will sink it.
Tremendous post, Dave.
One of your best posts ever. I particularly would echo the earned leadership and take care of your body points. Great stuff.
Good article Dave … wisdom rather than advice. I was once young, but now am old and I’ve learned some things along the way. Age doesn’t always equal wisdom, but it helps. I suppose the generation of young pastors now hitting the pulpit resemble previous whippersnappers in a lot of ways, but I don’t recall such an outbreak of arrogance in past attempts to “recover the Gospel.” One of the saddest passages in Scripture still provides some council in this regard “But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with… Read more »
Max, I hope the young whippersnappers can be more open to my wisdom than I was to the wisdom of my elders when I was a pastor in my 20s.
What an arrogant, all-knowing jerk I was. (some might question the past-tense there).
The problem with rejecting wisdom is that you have to wander in the wilderness until you get it right … and that could take 40 years! Youthful arrogance is one thing, but it doesn’t wear well on old timers. Some of these young folks planting churches need to look for “elders” older than themselves.
Dave,
Well done. Very well done.
Dave, thanks for the article – fantastic job. The part about debt is one that many will skip over. A pastor who is up against the wall financially in all likelihood not be the same leader he would be if he had no debt. Financial obligations can control where and how you minister. Joe McKeever recently blogged about pastors staying too long in full time ministry and hanging on too long. Finances often is the reason for this. One more thought about earning the right to lead with love. I admire the generation behind me in many ways. I want… Read more »
You are right, Dean.
Wise words, Dean…very wise.
David
I am only 38 years old but your advice is point on as always. Excellent!!!
“When someone opposes us, criticizes us, or fails to support our brilliant ideas, we treat him (or her) as if he is an enemy of God and his kingdom.” What can change this in us? I think the answer is seeking God’s Will daily in all things. This can keep us from inflicting our own pride on those others . . . ‘His Will is our hiding place’ (Corrie ten Boom) From the treasure of our daily prayers for His guidance in all things, we, too, have this good example to follow: ‘”Teacher,” they asked, “WHAT SHOULD WE DO ?”… Read more »
This should be made into a discipleship seminar. If I were a pastor I would train my elders and deacons in this information. It would be taught like “Safety” is taught in chemical companies. Great points. The second point is the one many need to work on before marriage and before accepting a call to a church. Both husband and wife must be in agreement when it comes to money. If one or the other is not content there will be an underlying problem that will be seen by everyone. It will be exposed by extravagant purchases or through unfulfilled… Read more »
First of all, you would NOT be the one I would be sitting in a hot tub with….
Secondly, the mental image of you in a speedo…sitting in a hot tub…sipping on sweet tea…is now emblazoned in my mind, and I’m crying out…loudly… please, take the mental image out of my brain…for the love of humanity and all that is good…please take it out!
David
I was NOT in a speedo. But, David, the sad fact is that we were all kinda big. It’s not a mental picture anyone wants.
it’s all that fried chicken at Church suppers, and those casseroles, and pies, and . . . .
ok, I’ll stop now
BTW, Dave, this is the best post you have ever written, and every, young pastor should read it….it should be required reading in seminary. In fact, when I was at Mid America Baptist Seminary in Memphis, we heard this kind of great advice all the time. But, we were not in a hot tub….
David
David, Memphis is so hot and humid that it’s practically a hot tub all the time.
Not that Dr. Allison would have allowed a hot tub in MASH, but standing on the balconies was quite close to it.
Doug,
You’re correct…the humidity here in W. TN is a hot tub from May to September….but, I DO NOT wear speedos, and I do not want to see Dave in speedos….ever!
David 🙂
It’s all good, but the part on debt is really great (who knew that SNL could also be such a bastion for wisdom–if you don’t have the money, don’t buy it!).
Fortunately I learned that one from a young age watching the mistakes others made and how they struggled with debt. Forget Dave Ramsey–if you pay attention to people’s lives that teaches you a lot!
But come on, the hot tub thing–was that necssary? Look, all I did was get Toto stuck in your head, did you have to return the favor with a lime green speedo? *shudder*
I kinda knew that the hot tub reference was going to be a stumbling block to a few…
Great post!
Except for this part:
“So, I’d like to invite you young whippersnappers TO MY VIRTUAL HOT TUB today to give you a little unsolicited advice” (emphasis added).
That part is just weird, man, just weird.
🙂
Yeah. I’ve got a bad back and I was on muscle-relaxers last night when I wrote that. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Dave you do GREAT work. Thanks for your insight and heart and example. May God bless and overwhelm you with HIS goodness and favor as you faithfully serve!
Good advice here.
Good advice here Dave! Well done!
David I thought your practical post was inspiring. As an associations missionary I constantly have to minister to young preachers who seem to think that I, as an old codger, would not know anything about the church today. I hate sitting by and watching them make mistakes that will eventually cause their demise. Nonetheless, there are those who are willing to listen. I do not claim to know all the answers. However, quite often the problem is that the young preacher is relying on the book of some pastor (who may not even know anything about Baptists) whose church grew;… Read more »
Great post! On point number 3, it may be true quite often but in my experience the problem is not that the pastors “great idea’ is simply opposed, but the problem is “how” it is opposed. Fact is the minute a pastor, young or old, presents an idea that will mean some change in the way things are done then the pastor is treated as an enemy. And quite frankly this is true far more often then the other.
Mark,
This is true, but we must remember the church has the say, and we are there to “serve.” This was the hardest lesson for me to learn.
Uh no, sorry but the church does not get to treat anyone that way. Period. The issue is not about who has the say, it is how it is said. Attacking the pastor is ungodly and no one should let it stand. By the way, to serve does not mean follow the church. God places a pastor to serve by leading. Not serve by following. There is a difference.
Mark, there are certainly people who rebel and refuse to submit to any authority or leadership from their leaders. That is a problem But I think a growing problem is pastors who treat disagreement with their own ideas as rebellion and even evidence of being unredeemed. I have seen great damage done to churches when pastors treated disagreement as a personal attack. Frankly, a lot of us in the pulpit are pretty thin-skinned and insecure. My point is not to say that there is never a time to stand, but that we should always be sure that we are standing… Read more »
Dave, I have to say in all the years I have been preaching and pastoring I have never seen that. What I have seen is pastors being treated as the enemy from the first day he arrives. And the church using the deacons, contrary to scripture, much like union reps to protect the church from the pastor. There is this division between the pastor and churches in most cases. And then we wonder why 1500 pastors are leaving the ministry every month. Add to that there is this old school mentality that says the pastor is just supposed to take… Read more »
Mark,
I think you and Dave are both right. As Pastors, we do tend to be thin skinned. We dont like anyone to oppose us, or to not go along with what we want.
But, you are right, as well. I’ve heard and seen people, who oppose the Pastor in the wrong way. They attack. And sometimes, they attack in a very mean way.
So, you are both right….
David
One more thing, Mark, patience with God’s people is a good thing. In the church, you will see a LOT of things that should never happen in the church. But as redeemed sinners grow in Christ, they mess up. As long as someone is in the growth trajectory, I try to always be patient. When you bring the hammer down on someone too harshly, you can hinder growth. Dr. Hendricks told us once, “Babies mess their pants.” You love them, clean them up and keep doing what you are doing! Christians have “accidents” as well. And we do well to… Read more »
Well the problem with messing up is the atmosphere in the churches is such that no one has to actually grow up. Members who treat each other poorly are left o ignore their behavior. And so they never actually grow they just stay where they are and cause more and more trouble.
I find that when I consistently proclaim truth from God’s Word (yes, a plug for exposition!) that the Spirit of God works to mature Christians and I don’t have to walk around being Dave the Hammer.
To the young,
You can listen to Dave now or suffer for not listening later. It’s the difference between being happy or sad. It’s the difference between
having your life together or falling apart.
Very good advice, David. As one old enough to look on you as a young whippersnapper, I think you did a pretty good job. The only thing you left out is what to do, when the troubles and problems are insurmountable and God does not show up and offer an easy way out. Once in a while, He does. But not all the time. Some times we just have to stay stuck in the rut for the next umpteen miles, grinding along very slowly. Sort of like going up and down long rows of cotton growed up in weeds and… Read more »
Good words,
thanks
A friend of mine pastored a church in Eastern Kentucky. He came home from a church service one Sunday and gave me a phone call. He was as angry as I’ve ever seen anyone. He told me that a lady had disagreed with him from the congregation just before the dismissal prayer. My friend wasn’t mad because she had disagreed with him before the service had ended. He was mad because she was right. I asked my friend, was he so mad that he feels as though he has a lump in his throat? He said yes, I told him… Read more »
Hopefully nobody farted in the hot tub.
A bit challenging to hear wise counsel when there’s an old fart in the air.
Yep! young whippersnapper.
I shouldn’t mention that the circle was the hotel hot tub, because our readers might not want that mental picture.
So, I’d like to invite you young whippersnappers to my virtual hot tub today to give you a little unsolicited advice.
I opened up Photoshop, sat there for a minute thinking about it, and then closed it back down, having decided that it would’ve been just a little bit too weird, even for my off-kilter sensibilities.
Is that line actionable?
Dave, I really appreciate the wisdom of this post. the information shared while intended for young pastors has relevance for all of us. What I mean is it is never too late to learn and apply these lessons. Yes some of them will be more difficult such as the fitness and credit areas. Even at 50 most of us still have many fruitful years left but may find ourselves hampered by our bondage to debt, poor health, bad attitudes toward opposition and just plain in ability to accept that someone some where might be hearing something from the Lord that… Read more »
Good stuff, Mitch.
From one old codger to another let me say, Amen. I actually did everything I thought to do to stay in shape and ended up nearly dying of a heart attack and discovering I have diabetes. I was playing basketball twice a week with guys half my age. So, I’d add–get a check up yearly. When they asked me in the ambulance if I had naturally low blood pressure (they were having a hard time getting a reading), I replied, not that I knew of. They then asked, “What was it the last time you had it checked? My answer… Read more »
I don’t think that “critics are your friends” necessarily means that they are intentionally friendly, it’s just that you can learn from them even when they are wrong, misguided, or irresponsibly antagonistic. Even the critic with a personal agenda can manage to get parts of their criticism correct, and if you fail to pay enough attention to the criticism to ferret out those parts, you’ve lost an opportunity to learn.
I’ll pass on the invitation to the virtual hot tub!!!
Your point is well taken. I know younger teachers/pastors often think they know more than they really do, and they usually mean well. I think we need to listen to voices across the generations as the Holy Spirit seems to speak through all of us in different ways. No one has the truth by themselves and we arrive at a broader understanding of the truth corporately. We need to recover that.
Your rejection of my invitation stings a little, but I agree with the rest of your comment.
I had the privilege of eating lunch with a couple of wise old leaders in the SBC recently. One made a comment that was profound. He loves preachers, especially young preachers. He has spent his life helping young preachers where he could. He said one issue with some young preachers today is they read people from their own generation the most. An old codger’s point of view may often be just what we need. I know I return over and again to Cothen’s, Equipped for Good Work. I love reading R G Lee’s, The Wonderful Savior just before Easter. Just… Read more »
Actually, Dr. Howard Hendricks made this point in a seminary class. He said, “Don’t just read people who agree with you. That tends to just reinforce your prejudices, not challenge your thinking.”
I am not a charismatic, but I have grown greatly and been blessed by interacting with them. It’s easy to sit back and take pot shots at people we disagree with, but when we engage them, it changes our perspectives.
We need to read people who are from other generations, other perspectives and other branches of the church.
I am a middle aged guy that loves the wisdom from the older generation. I have been humbled listening to their hearts for God and people. Many of these guys endured tough times far worse in church politics than are out there today and lived to share about it. My mentor told me over and over again, “love the people more than you love your ideas and love God more than the people! Invest yourself in them and allow God to accomplish what He desires. You will get more ministry accomplished that way.” I think about that comment every day.… Read more »
“Thank God for the older generation! I pray I keep learning from them!”
Tim G.,
I have a question for you. Are there any mirrors in your home?
I was thinking the same thing, CB. But guys like Tim and me, when we think of our elders, you are the one who comes to mind.
There are elders . . and then there are dinosaurs. But remember we dinosaurs are the guys who become fossil fuel . . . and we keep the lights burning for the elders to see well so they can teach the younger guys who sit at their feet.
One of the things that Pastors forget to do is plan for their retirement. This is very important for pastors. I am retired and presently going thru cancer treatment. The Lord has been good to me and I did plan for retirement but many pastors my age did not plan for their retirement. So don’t forget to plan for old age, you will be glad you did. Darryl
An elderly man 67 years old was asked, why didn’t he plan for retirement?
The elderly man replied, thats a good question, let me ask dad. The dad
replied, thats a good question, Let’s go and ask grand pa.
In all seriousness, Dave Miller.
This is an excellent post. I am glad to know you.
Thanks, Dave. I agree with every word and would like to add a few. As a fellow old guy, I’d like to suggest that sometimes we need to temper what we say to younger men. Young men often don’t have the context to interpret the confessions of older men because they don’t have the life experiences to understand them. Let’s face it, some of the junk we’re dealing with as fifty-somethings sounds totally weird to thirty-year-olds. (There’s such a thing as TMI when talking to youth.) Young men often have a very idealized vision of what their lives will be… Read more »
“The most effective thing I’ve done is to make myself available to young men when they are going through their toughest times.” – This is when transparency is useful and generally welcome.
The one thing that concerns me about the younger generations is that they do not believe in picking the brains of the older generations. I always felt that I had a responsibility to find out what those folks had learned and what kind of contribution they could make to my ministry by what they had learned. Imagine, if you will, having a member of your first church was went to hear D.L. Moody preach in a crusade in St. Louis back in the 1800s. Imagine also a friend whose mother was converted in a Billy Sunday Crusade. Imagine also a… Read more »
Each generation is shaped by certain formative experiences. The ‘greatest’ generation came of age during the Great Depression and became involved in WWII. The Baby Boomers saw their parents, watched T.V., critiqued society, and became activist. And so on it goes, but each generation can learn from the rest.
Excellent, excellent post. However, since I just had my gall bladder taken out yesterday and am not yet allowed to sit in the tub, I’m afraid I’ll have to decline even the virtual soak.
I’ll agree with Mitch, this applies to more than just pastors, it applies to all of us, including strange Bible-degree-bearing computer programmers like me. #1 and #2 are where I’ve had trouble.
Excellent post Dave, Couple of thoughts. 1. On the Debt – too many Seminary’s are allowing in students who are already in debt (from undergrad) and then allowing them to accumulate more debt doing their MDiv. Many of these schools don’t take Federal money and give up Federal student loans, but they allow students to take private loans. They are placing these students into the pit of debt before they take their first pastorate. 2. I think young men should become work-out fanatics. In the same sense as they study the word, pray, minister, etc. An hour a day to… Read more »
I really love your blog;thank you very much for the great advice.