Joel Rainey is the Director of Missions at Mid-Maryland Baptist Association, an adjunct professor at Capital Bible Seminary and blogs at Themelios (Twitter – @joelrainey). This post was originally published at his site.
Nearly three years ago at this time, my wife and I were in China getting ready to meet our little girl–now over 4 years old–and complete all the in-country and American citizenship paperwork that would both make her our daughter, and an American citizen. We landed in Beijing, and spent two days touring the city while the Chinese government finalized all the details for our pending adoption.
While on tour, our guide warned us to look out for swindlers on the street who would try to sell us everything from fake Rolex watches to event tickets that had long-expired. “When they start to walk in your direction” he said, “just start waving your hand and shaking your head, and whatever you do, just keep walking away, and don’t even make eye contact. These people are nothing but mosquitoes!“
I later learned what he meant by comparing them to a blood-sucking insect. Not only will they rob you blind and take your money, but they will also take you energy and attention off of what you are there to do–in our case, to enjoy the beauty of ancient China, and bring our daughter home.
As I think about that experience, it makes me wonder how many pastors (or leaders in any other profession) are sidetracked nearly every day by a different kind of mosquito. When someone comes to you with a concern or complaint, your shepherd’s heart goes out to them, and because you love them, you want to see them walk away satisfied. But sometimes, all that happens is that you end up in a perpetual “back and forth” with someone whose mind is unlikely to change, and who is not nearly as interested in dialogue and understanding as they are their own agenda.
My office gets its share of these people as well. In fact, over the last week, we’ve had quite a persistent little devil that is demanding our attention regarding an issue that he thinks is of eternal importance. Our collective response–based on my own orders to our staff–has been absolute silence.
Is this because I have no heart? Not at all. Its because after 21 years in ministry, I’ve seen his ilk many times, and I simply don’t have time for him, nor will I waste staff and other resources entrusted to us by our churches to address his concerns, which I can almost guarantee will never be alleviated. Over the years, we’ve had several folks like this try to get us sidetracked from time to time.
So Pastor, if you are wondering how to deal with your own “mosquitoes,” let me encourage you to follow my lead, as its expressed in the following open letter:
To Whom It May Concern,
Every day, our office is inundated with phone calls, emails, social media, and various other kinds of correspondence. My own personal email count averages more than 100 each day, and that doesn’t include those that are screened by my staff. Because this level of communication can sometimes be overwhelming for an office our size, and because we give priority to those who are members of churches that are in our network it sometimes takes us a bit to respond to you if you are reaching out to us from outside that network. If you have experienced a delay in our response, I hope you will understand and bear with us. Thank you for your patience.
However, there may be a few of you out there who never get a response from us, and I suppose we at least owe you an explanation for why your letter ended up in the trash, why your phone calls were never returned, why your email landed in our spam box, or your social media messages were blocked. What follows is an attempt to explain why you never heard from us:
-To the “purpose-driven hater” who believes Rick Warren is the antiChrist, and wonders why we no longer take your call and haven’t answered your letters………
-To the Fundamentalist who leaves nasty messages about our contemporary churches, and wonders why we don’t call back to explain ourselves………
-To the denominational purist who demands to know if any of our churches also cooperate with Acts29, and wonders why we haven’t met those demands…….
-To the angry anti-Reformed guy who wonders why I don’t respond to his attempts to start a twitter direct message conversation that will identify all the evil Calvinists in this Association………
-To the group that wonders why our office refuses to hawk your“we support Israel no matter what even if they carpet bomb Turkey unprovoked” wares on our churches………
-To the out-of-state “Christian organization” leaders who question my Patriotism because, as a follower of Jesus, I’m public about hanging out with my Muslim friends, and wonders why I haven’t responded to defend said accusation……..
-To the prophecy nut who wonders why we won’t dis-fellowship churches in our Association who don’t agree fully with his own views of end time events, and can’t understand why I won’t respond to his emails.. . . .
-To anyone else I’ve missed who made the mistake of calling amissions mobilization entity in order to nit-pick a theological or political point of view and wonders why we haven’t been willing to be distracted enough by you to even respond…….
…its because I have better things to do with my time. And honestly, you do too!
Warmest Regards,
Joel
After the sermon is over and the pastor shakes hands as members leave, I am usually behind the person who wants personal counsel or wants to tell the pastor what needs to be done. I have always been conscious of my pastor’s time. The mosquitoes need to learn the hard lesson of wisdom, time management and discernment. On the other hand, all of us need mosquitoes to sharpen our skills in the area of wisdom, time management and discernment, too. One learns from the school of hard-knocks and the other from the fruit of the Spirit.
It seems all the mosquito are from one side of the theological spectrum. Is it really the case that the blood suckers are all from that side of the fence? Really? Or was this just hyperbole to start a conversation with the “nut jobs” not accounting in your examples of course the “nut jobs” on the other extreme. Churches and Associations are diverse – I would think we would want a conversation with all our folks – understanding of course that your examples you were careful to say you deal with your membership as a priority.
Rob
Rob,
You talkin’ ta me?
No sir – just placed on the wrong level 🙂
Rob
Purpose driven hating, fundamentalist, contemporary worship hating, anti-Acts29, anti-Calvinist, pro-Israel no matter what, muslim-hating prophecy nuts are all a single side of the theological spectrum? Which side is that?
Brother Joel,
That is definitely one way to handle the situation, and illustrates well the perils of well marketed mission giving programs. Since these folks, all not so well meaning in your mind, have supported the mission fund in some way through cooperative giving….maybe they don’t deserve a response? But, they probably still believe they do even after being rebuked,…and will tell their neighbors and pastor/s just how nasty the ole Director of Missions is, probably creating more time wasting for the pastor.
Couple of thoughts:
1. Publish this as a policy statement, but stay away from naming specific events…because that may become a never ending list of “what is not raising to the level of good enough to answer”.
2. Create a front end intake for complaints and suggestions with no service level agreement attached. This will disconnect you from the mission of being the gatekeeper.
3. In the intake form….use the tool to drive the comment back to the local church, because some of those things you mention in the letter actually do need to be discussed,…but probably not by you.
You don’t necessarily want to provoke “An Open Letter to Flyswatters”
Just some thoughts… best of luck brother,
Blessings,
Chris
Thanks Chris. For clarity, nearly 100% of the “inside” calls we get are positive. The correspondence I reference above is related to those who call from outside our network–usually because they walked into one of our churches with an agenda, and when the pastor couldn’t satisfy them, they turned on us. Hope that clarifies things a bit, and your steps above would be very, very helpful to pastors I think.
I am discouraged that a DOM would consider Christians with concerns as analogous to mosquitoes. They are people, not pests. You may not always agree with them, which is certainly fair, but if you have no time for them, do not be surprised if one day they no longer have time for you.
Personally, I recommend a more accommodating approach.
I would rather be called a mosquito than an alien or a terrorist., which are both descriptions that you have used in past posts.
Scott,
To be fair, in that very same post, I made patently clear that I was merely speaking of the MANNER in which the aliens in the movies or the terrorists in sleeper cells secretly infiltrate societies without the knowledge of the people in that society.
Properly speaking, I was not comparing Acts 29 members THEMSELVES to terrorists or aliens. I was comparing their rather undetected method of infiltration among a variety of different denominations to the manner in which terrorists and aliens ignore the boundaries that divide us into nations and penetrate all of them at once unannounced.
I don’t view other Christians, even Acts 29 Christians, as mosquitoes. (Full disclosure: I really hate mosquitoes!)
Rick, How incredibly gracious of you! 😉
Thanks, Joel. I do attempt to show grace to all God’s children.
One sentence of yours above caused me to wonder if I might be a “mosquito” in your eyes:
“-To the denominational purist who demands to know if any of our churches also cooperate with Acts29, and wonders why we haven’t met those demands…….”
Is it WRONG for me to desire information about the Non-SBC church planting networks with whom, unbeknownst to me, I may be partnering? These outside networks may very well be influencing the work, doctrine and direction of a church plant with which I am involved.
If I am indeed entitled to such information, and it seems entirely reasonable to me that I am, where else am I supposed to get it than by contacting the DOM?
Perhaps YOU consider ME to be a mosquito for asking such a question. My graciousness is indeed demonstrated in that I do not, in turn, consider YOU to be a mosquito.
Rick, there are an awful lot of erroneous assumptions in your statements. Perhaps you should read the post again to see precisely who I was addressing.
I read it again. Don’t see any erroneous assumptions. But then again, you asserted an erroneous assumption on my part without helping me identify any of them. Still doesn’t make you a mosquito.
Rick,
Sorry for the belated reply.
To clarify, most of what I’m talking about are the complaints that come from outside our association. Every one of the scenarios in this post are “real-life” situations in which someone walked into one of our churches, tried to start trouble, then turned toward us. We don’t answer that kind of nonsense.
If you are a pastor in this network and call me with a question, I’ll answer it. Same thing if you are a member of one of our churches. That said, if you ask for the Association’s “position” on Calvinism, end times theology, purpose-driven methodology et al you will hear us respond by referring you to a church that is more like your own preference, whatever that is. A gentleman just called not long ago to make sure that our churches all held to a pre-tribulational rapture. Well, they don’t! But, I’m aware of my pastors and where they stand (at least in general) and so I pointed him in three or four directions where I knew the eschatology would be to his liking.
If he had persisted with how important it was that the entire Association be uniform on that issue, we would have cut him off.
Its like this. Over the past 9 years, our churches have worked together to plant more than 30 new churches. 1000 more people in our region are worshipping Jesus who weren’t just six years ago, and we have been actively involved in long-term, substantive missionary work not only in our own region, but on every inhabited continent. Sometimes I’m asked how it is that we can accomplish so much together, relative to what regrettably happens in so many other Associations, particularly in the so-called “legacy states.”
At least one of the reasons is that we have Calvinists and non, traditionalists and contemporary, Acts 29 affiliated and non, dispensational and covenantal, “purpose-driven,.” ministry based, seeker-targeted, and relational outreach methodologies…..all central Maryland Baptists willing to hold loosely to all of the above so we can work together to make Jesus more widely known here and around the world. Our Association doesn’t exist to start a political fight between two SBC “interest groups.” It exists to call all “groups” into Christocentric cooperation to accomplish the mission of God. That is the spirit in which this post is written–simply to say that we could do so much more if we would cease allowing the most disgruntled voices in the room to direct the conversation. As long as I inhabit my current “seat,” none of the above issues will be allowed to hijack the vision of this network of churches.
And, I think pastors in general could lead their churches to greater things if they would take similar dispositions. You may still not agree, but hopefully, this at least explains my rationale.
Joel,
Thanks for explaining you were not talking about church members and pastors who have concerns, but outsiders who really have no business wasting your time in this way. I had no idea there were so many people who fit in this category.
I generally agree with you, and would add one more category to this list of “outside the church” time wasters…people who call you on the phone to sell videos, music groups, church products, etc. Why can’t they understand that we NEVER purchase anything on the basis of a telemarketing phone call, but if we are going to purchase something, we initiate this process ourselves among our ministry staff and prayerfully seek the resources we wish to use?
I certainly could never condone an association that existed “to start a political fight between two SBC interest groups.” That would be narrow and mean-spirited and ungodly. Frankly, I don’t know of any such associations, and I just can’t imagine such a purpose.
I do, however, believe Southern Baptists deserve to be informed regarding our church plants, and that our efforts should be identified clearly as either “SBC Only” churches or “SBC/Other Network” hybrid churches. These are different animals, and some Southern Baptists may possess convictions regarding which types of church plants they can support.
Full disclosure will give Southern Baptists the information they need to support missions with a clear conscience, knowing they are not supporting, for example, a church in which they would not be welcome to serve due to church plant doctrinal parameters much more narrow than the Baptist Faith and Message 2000.
Yep… I can only imagine what you run into on a daily basis. The first part of the last sentence might make a good lyric for a song 🙂
Blessings,
Chris
We, as pastors and leaders, must make a distinction between the mosquitoes that Joel writes so well about and just people who have a problem.
If a member of my church (regular attender, whatever) has a serious problem, I have to be there. The mosquito is more the kind of guy who visits the church and wants to rearrange everything. It’s an art form to tell them apart.
(Permit me to expand a little on my previous comment)
I’m not Joel, but I think there is a distinction that needs to be made here.
A member of a church, or someone involved in association, who has a problem or need is not a “mosquito.” He (or she) is a person in need of a ministry.
A mosquito is someone who has a narrow vision which he is determined to impose on everyone else. He is not a needy person, but one who is greedy for time, influence and control.
I recently had a visitor chew me out in the entryway to the church for the fact that we had drums and guitars on stage. He was a mosquito.
There is a fine line here. But Joel is clear that he is talking primarily about outside influences or people who come in with some kind of power agenda. It is important to make that distinction, I think.
A useful distinction. Though one of the helpful reasons for congregational polity is very specifically to allow all comers to participate in setting the agenda of a church. It shouldn’t be too surprising that some of the people use democracy to forward their agendas. This might include people in significant power positions such as pastors and lead deacons or committee chairs.
I appreciate where Joel’s going with this, don’t get me wrong, but it’s very easy to draw these kinds of distinctions when you’re primarily talking about “other people”. When someone else draws the same distinction “about us”, we get a little more personally involved in responding to the characterization.
And let’s be very clear: the use of the term “mosquito” as a euphemism for “blood sucker” is a careful form of light camouflage (if not ironic sarcasm) in tropical regions of the world…
I agree, Dave.
Visitors/”outsiders” like the one you described are aptly described as mosquitoes.
While there are some who will come to us with their mosquito biting….there are also people in the community who make comments on social media and expose their fangs.
We recently had a person who never attends our, or any other church for that matter, berate our church on Facebook because of some (at least) 5th hand hand information regarding our dispensing (actually not dispensing) of benevolence funds for a perceived need. The retelling of this story in the way that it was – was certainly of nefarious intent.
The issue then becomes, since it is such a public lies/accusation/gripe/agenda whatever – how (and should?) we respond?
We did have some church members see the posts and come to me and other leadership and inquire…and we had no problem explaining the story to them – but don’t we all know that not everyone in our churches who is ‘questioning’ will actually ask and others will ask other ill informed persons in the congregation…and on top of that there is the issue with the name of the church and pastors names being wrongly smeared.
Just like real mosquitoes….these types of mosquitoes can carry and spread poison.
Y’all are not saying that ignoring the is not always the right approach or are you?
Last sentence should read…
Y’all are not saying that ignoring them is always the right approach or are you?
I will say this: ignoring things (and certain people) is often the wisest move. It is not always though.
My dad used to say, “Most church problems will go away in 6 months if you just ignore them.” There is truth in that. But if we ignore the wrong item, then it becomes a huge issue down the road.
The trick is to know when to ignore and when to engage.
What Dave said. 🙂
It’s easy to distinguish mosquitoes from those in need. Mosquitoes know what they are doing and have an agenda to suck your blood – it’s their life line.
We’re all mosquitos then. We all have a need to draw attention to ourselves…
Do you find anything helpful in the mosquito metaphor? Or are you just trying to deny it is helpful while living out the metaphor here in the comments?
I don’t care for it. If I’m being a blood sucker, well, I’ve been doing it for quite a while now and have had both positive and negative reactions to my comments.
Your comment caused me to think of a circumstance where it simply wasn’t clear whether a specific couple–who happened to own their own real estate agency–were more of a benefit or a bane to the church. I’m sure you’re extremely filled with the Holy Spirit in everything you write, so issuing invective against another believer most likely is perfectly justified. But I find it a little harder to be so certain. 😉
Well, try as we might, we shan’t escape the pesky mosquitos unless we use (is it vitamin B12, I always forget which one it is). Clearly, total depravity stalks abroad even at the door of the church, er., on the telephone, the cell phones, or whatever.
I would imagine that we’re all mosquitoes from time to time…when things aint going like we like them to be going.
Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
David