Tomorrow, more 1,600 Southern Baptists will gather in Dallas Texas for the ERLC’s “Caring Well” Conference. I’m looking forward to the conference and am bringing a small group from my church while others will be watching from home. Personally, I’ve considered myself an advocate for survivors of the trauma of abuse for years and I’ve been very hopeful about the progress being made in the SBC on this issue.
Before I write a piece on my hopes for the conference and why I’m attending, I want to acknowledge the pushback I’ve received from others in the advocate community about the ways in which the Caring Well Conference is problematic. This is not a hit piece. I support this conference and am excited to attend. I do, however, want to summarize some of the problems others have noted and give insight into why this is not being received well by all. I hope it highlights that we still have a long way to go. Here are a few of the problems that others have pointed out about the conference this week.
First, I have never seen a perceived problem in SBC life that we haven’t proposed a program or initiative or Convention-wide emphasis to address. To those who have been calling for the SBC to take this issue seriously for more than a decade, I understand the hesitancy to trust this current push. Would the SBC leaders have taken this issue seriously with this much publicity were it not for high profile cases and the secular press bringing sexual abuse in the SBC to light? My guess is probably not. So, I completely understand why the advocate community would look at this event as a huge PR stunt. Launch an initiative, host a conference, vote on a bylaw change and all the bad press goes away. Add to that the number of book releases timed around the conference and that just adds to the cynicism. The perception among many survivors is that the SBC is profiting off of abuse.
Further questions remain as to whether the denomination as a whole is taking this issue seriously yet. Even with all the publicity, it seems that there is debate among pastors about whether there is a systemic problem in the SBC and simultaneous debate among advocates about whether the systemic solutions offered are adequate, will actually be effective, or even pass the second vote required. The calls for an offender data-base are not going away, and the excuses for not creating one seem less and less convincing. In the meantime, many still perceive that, in the SBC, the fear of lawsuits trumps care of victims and that PR trumps full-disclosure of abuse. Even if the number of cases of abuse is a statistically small ratio, the pattern of cover-up and protection of institutions and abusers over against caring for victims is an alarming and a consistent pattern. Juxtaposed with the reality that relatively few of our 40,000+ churches have taken the Caring Well Challenge and this high profile conference can seem to some an fairly insignificant step.
Additionally, the PR foibles around this issue haven’t helped. Two notable ones include the virtually universal silence from SBC leaders when the Houston Chronicle piece on Paige Patterson was published and the release and endorsement of Matt Chandler’s book—two weeks out of the caring well conference—while he is currently being sued by a survivor and under scrutiny for he and his church NOT caring well.
Perhaps the biggest reason for the pushback is that it seems that some prominent survivors who have been sounding the alarm in the SBC for years have been left out of the process. The stories of survivors like Tiffany Thigpen, Christa Brown and others should be common knowledge among Baptists, but they are not – Why are they not being given a platform when they have been sounding the alarm of clergy abuse in the SBC for decades? Why are we only hearing from a select few survivors? The most obvious answer seems to be that some voices are not “safe”. Some survivors’ stories look bad for prominent and “important” leaders and flagship churches. Other stories don’t carry the happy ending of finding hope in Christ or having a deep love for the church. Many of the survivors of SBC clergy abuse have left the church, left the faith, or adopted progressive (liberal) views of Christianity. These “nones, dones, [and] gones” have important messages for the church too even if they don’t fit our desired narrative or aim. Christa Brown speculates “that organizers opted to invite survivors whose stories were deemed ‘risk-free for the SBC.’”
Now, many prominent people have come to the defense of the speakers, especially survivors, against the “designated survivor” idea—that is, that only speakers with the right story have been designated to speak. I myself have come to the twitter defense of Jennifer Michelle Greenberg, Susan Codone, Megan Lively, Beth Moore, and others. Yet, I think the point is valid that we are not yet hearing the whole story. The truth is, I am grateful for the survivors who will be teaching us this week – their stories are important, their voice needs to be heard, their warnings heeded, their healing celebrated. I’m looking forward to learning from them.
But what of the others? Their voices too need to be heard. Southern Baptists ought to be challenged by those who stories don’t fit our desired outcomes and we should come face to face with the consequences and damage of clergy abuse and indifference to holding abusers accountable. Perhaps the Caring Well Conference is not the place for that dialogue to take place, but there does need to be a place. We must care well for all survivors, even those who have left us. We must hear from all survivors, even those whose journeys have taken them on paths we don’t like.
That’s a rundown on some of the problems that surround this conference. Yet, let me end where I started. Even with all of these problems surrounding the Conference, I believe it is a good and needed step. As this article is being posted, I’m on a plane to Dallas and am bringing a team from my church. In a follow up post, I’ll share my hopes for this conference and why, despite the concerns mentioned above, I’m attending and supportingthe conference. I’m looking forward to hearing from the speakers and learning more about how I can lead my church and hopefully other churches to prevent abuse and “care well” for those who have experienced the trauma of abuse.
There is much more work to do in my church and in our denomination. May our hearts be changed, our ears be open, and may this conference be just one step in truly caring well for others.
The Caring Well National Conference will be available live and the content archived for those who want to watch later.
You can watch (and I encourage you to) at https://live.erlc.com
I’d like to echo Todd’s thoughts here. I’m thankful for this conference. Our church is doing the Caring Well challenge. Our team will be meeting to watch the livestream together.
I’m not insisting that the “outside” survivor voices must be given a place to speak here, at this conference. But we do need to make room to listen more carefully to them. There are a lot of factors that go into deciding who will be invited to speak at an event like this. I understand that. And I also trust that those putting this conference together had the goal of a meeting that will be most beneficial to those attending and watching. We won’t all agree on what that looks like. But I’m thankful for what we have available to us this weekend and choose to focus on that.
Todd:
Thanks for your thoughts on this conference. I agree with lots of your thoughts.
Please understand that I am not fussing at you for asking these questions. I believe everyone on this blog, including you, would be against abuse and would advocate for people who have been abused.
I have followed the abuse issue closely for about 10 years or so and I would not have identified you as among the group of people advocating on this issue.
Have you been a T4G attender over the years? When was the first time you can recall publicly saying that Sovereign Grace and C.J. Mahaney needed to be looked into and until that happened Mahaney should not appear at T4G?
I can give you a long list of T4G speakers and prominent backers who never said anything for many years or actually defended SGM and Mahaney. And now they are prominent in the SBC as leaders of the anti abuse effort.
I believe Al Mohler did the right thing by issuing a public apology for his failure to act. But in case I have missed it, I have not seen too many personal apologies from others.
The last time I checked 700 churches or so had signed the Caring Well Challenge. It may have gone up since then, but that’s out of 45,000 churches.
I don’t believe those churches are uninterested in sexual abuse. They have not followed the leadership for other reasons. Your guess is as good as mine.
Our church signed the “pledge”, and people can watch the conference at our church. Some of the staff will. Not sure if any lay people will. And we did not mention it from the service, as was requested, nor will we mention it next May.
My feeling was that since our church has employed good policies, we would call the police, and we would never discourage victims from calling the police, that emphasizing there was a “crisis” would make members and visitors wonder if WE had a crisis at our church.
But the staff will watch and may make recommendations for us to consider if we are not already doing the things they recommend.
I didn’t mean to suggest I’ve been a long time advocate for survivors of clergy abuse in the SBC. Rather, I have been very active on a local level on behalf of those who have experimented trauma — in my church, in my association, in family court, in foster care/adoption, in personal ministry. You are correct that I have not written extensively on this issue and not at all about clergy abuse.
Thanks for the clarification.
Having said that I am glad the SBC is acting, and I feel badly that so much shade is being directed their way.
The areas where I disagree is the idea that the SBC should keep and maintain a database. That is fraught with problems which I have mentioned before. I do not think that the SBC should take actions to mollify detractors if those actions are not likely to help.
Also, on the speakers, it’s been a while since I looked at the list, but my preference would have been to have the conference speakers only be people who were experts in the field.
I would not have included pastors or professional religious speakers, especially recent converts to the issue, as that does make it look more like a PR event.
I would not have included victims unless they have some demonstrated expertise and training beyond their status as victims. That would have avoided the issue of which victims.
If the conference had included only law enforcement, people with training in recognizing potential for assault, those who have treated victims etc., it would have been perceived as being geared only toward helping equip churches.
The minute you start putting denominational leadership, pastors, conference speakers etc. up there is the minute it looks like PR is a major component of the event.
One issue about a database is that it assumes that all staff members of SBC affiliated churches have had their entire careers in SBC affiliated churches. That was true probably 20 years ago and is true for the majority of church staff, however, there are many staff in larger churches who have been in non-denominational churches or other denominations. Likewise, there are staff who leave SBC churches for non-denominational churches, and later in their career may be employed again by SBC churches.
My point is that the SBC is no longer a closed universe of people who have attended an SBC affiliated seminary and then spend their entire career in SBC churches. Also, there are churches that are listed on the SBC website (I’m thinking of Elevation Church in Charlotte, and Saddleback in CA) where probably a large portion of the church doesn’t know that their church is SBC – Are these churches going to register an offender at such a database?
It seems that the better approach is for churches to establish policies whereby potential offenders never have an environment where such abuse can take place. Specifically, having more than one adult in classrooms at all time and never allowing a youth pastor to be driving youth one on one (I’m thinking of the Andy Savage situation). The challenge comes with smaller churches where they don’t have enough volunteers to enact these measures. An example is where large churches now have one secured entrance area in the Children’s Ministry where the parents have to have a card to get their church after Sunday School, not all churches are set up this way.
I am in the process of going through the online Caring Well studies. They are a great resource for equipping Pastors. But I believe they are way too long, tedious and technical to use as a tool in the church. Some companion material is needed to help train laypeople, especially those who work with youth and children. Another need churches large and small need is practical help with church policies and practices to avoid child sexual abuse and the abuse of pastoral authority that can lead to sexual abuse and indefidility by church leaders.
I hadn’t read the Houston Chronicle piece. I don’t think there are words to describe what I think about it.
The Houston Chronicle pieces have deeply angered me and cause deep grief in my heart for the pain and destruction which was brought upon my beloved alma mater SWBTS. I am fearful for the liability exposure they will face and deeply saddened for the pain of the victims. I am very thankful Dr Greenway is there. He has a big challenge ahead of him. He has made great strides so far.
Thank you, Todd. Your piece describes my own conflicted opinions well. I am cautiously optimistic but concerned about many of the things you cited. We shall see how it goes.
Southern Baptists have to start somewhere and in spite of the problems this conference seems like as good a place as any. I’m hoping there will be video of the whole thing when it is over for those who couldn’t get there. I like what the ERLC has done so far, though I agree, there are a lot of victims whose stories should be included. This isn’t an opportunity for self-promotion of books and media products. Yes, launching an initiative and having a conference is a long-time Southern Baptist M.O. for addressing issues, along with gathering together the self-appointed prominent leadership to lend their name and support for something like this. But give it time. If these things don’t seem to actually address the issue effectively, someone will keep working on it.
For those not able to go, I hope the program content is made available.
The livestream will be available and the content archived for those who want to watch later.
Livestream will be available at live.erlc.com
I hope *lots* of people see Boz Tchividjian’s address. I haven’t seen it yet, but from what I heard, he told that gathering exactly what they needed to hear.
the smattering of applause afterward is confirmation of that.
Driving to pick up my daughter from school today I heard a fill in host on James Dobson’s program say 5% of men abuse either their wife, child or both. Why would we expect different numbers in the church? And by the way, the SBC has no worse a population than anyone else. Even if SBC were 5 times better than the regular population, that still has 1% abuse!
What bothers me is the current SBC abuse training acts like people did what they did in the past, and by that I mean church leaders ignored abuse or hand-waived it away, “out of ignorance.” May I politely suggest that is horse-hockey. Leaders willfully chose to ignore problems. But acknowledging that means a lot of leaders are disqualified… and yes, they are.
That being said, the current model basically assumes the accusers (or survivor…) is to be supported to the nth degree, which is totally unrealistic when lawsuits are flying around (see the Village Church case for a classic example).
So, is this a starting point? Yes. But do the leaders of this even know what is wrong with it? I doubt it.
Mark Smith: I hope I am reading your post wrong but am afraid I am not so let me make this perfectly clear. Survivors should be supported to the nth degree. I support the lawsuit against Village and hope more survivors do the same to churches who react as Matt Chandler and Village has.
Debbie, a survivor who then sues the church is a litigant… the church / survivor relationship by its very nature then changes.
yes, it changes. so what?
Bologna!! Mark I know this is going to sound harsh and it is Harsh. I hope you don’t comment on this anymore I really do you hurt more than you heal and they’ve had enough hurt.
Why? Because the survivor isn’t content to just wait around forever for a congregation and its leadership to change on their own accord?
[…] I was pleasantly surprised when SBC Voices posted Before the Conference – Acknowledging problems surrounding #CaringWell by Todd Benkert. The men over at this website are staunch supporters of the SBC which makes this […]
Amen Todd on this post. To Brent and Lee well said.
Survivors, who are able to speak about their experiences, can give better insight into childhood abuse and molestation. A police officer or mental health professional, with professional experience, can sometimes be one step back from the issue.
A survivor can put you in the exact spot as the child, however uncomfortable it may be, to learn how to deal with this issue.
Todd
Thank you for writing this piece and thank you for the opportunity to reply. I hope that this reply is helpful despite the fact that I’ve never once received compensation as a member of church staff and despite the fact that my reply isn’t really linear. Though this issue may require skilled management, there must first be humble mourning. Without mourning, the church can lose its teue power in becoming more socially responsible.
Thanks, Todd for writing. I’ll never forget stumbling on Christa Brown’s website years ago. After wide-eyed reading I began to feel sick. The feeling was mostly due to an emerging awareness of many things I had either seen or experienced through the years. I wished I could do something to help, to expose abusers. At that time, I could not. But I am thankful Christa has never stopped being a voice, an advocate for the abused. She is the originator of SBC me too movement, long before it was what is is now.
Well said Suzanne, I concur. Without Christa survivors would not have been heard 10 years ago, and even then they were rebuffed and ignored except she, Tiffany Killgalan caught my attention and my heart.
If you haven’t read Christa’s book, I highly recommend doing so.
[…] hopeful that it will make a lasting impact as we focus on ministering well to those around us. In a previous post, I highlighted some concerns with the #CaringWell initiative and conference. Despite these […]