Misogyny. Power Hungry. Abuse. Women’s roles.
Over the last month as I have watched a scrolling screen filled with twitter comments, news articles, and the tennis match of words, opinions, charges, and accusations all around the place of women in the church, I have had to remind myself that I’m not the ball. No matter what is said ‘out there’ that it’s not the final definition of who I am or the work I get to take part in. In spite of all the jargon, there is a real and needed discussion happening within the church, both brothers and sisters, and it would do us all well to make sure we don’t miss out on it.
Beth Moore shook the internet with her humble and forward account of what it’s like to be a woman in ministry. As I read it, it felt like a slow and vulnerable exposure of similar moments I have experienced in my time in ministry, but that’s not where it left off. I started to reflect on the men in my life who lovingly spurred me on, who are not at all characterized by what has filled the news cycle. I wholeheartedly know I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for their influence and spurring on in my life. So I hope to open up a dialogue between all of us, brothers and sisters alike. We are on the same team, we are much stronger together than apart, and there is work to be done.
Brothers, in asking the question, “How do I encourage and support my sisters in the faith?” here are a couple things to get the dialogue started:
Ask.
This seems so simple right? Ask a question, any question. How are you doing? How are you managing all that is on your plate? Is there anything I can do to come alongside you and make this better? How are things going with your family? Do you push past just a ‘hello’ or ‘hey’?
Call me crazy, but with any relationship the more you listen, the more you learn, and the more you grow. You can learn a lot from someone when you ask questions, and the more you get to know the heartbeat of the women leaders in your church the more you will find she is a lot more similar to you than you thought. She struggles with perception and what others will think. She wrestles with being overworked and discouraged. She gets excited about seeing God move in certain ways.
Cheer.
How often do you highlight, share, or brag on ministries that are led by women in your church? Do you publically let everyone know how selfless and awesome that nursery worker is who consistently gives up her time and puts in double the time than some paid positions?
You don’t have to be in ministry five minutes to know that there are hard, dry seasons. We need to, both brothers and sisters, encourage one another. Shoot an encouraging email when you see her working long hours. Share the event on social media that she has poured hours of planning and prep into. Tell her, to her face how much her sacrifice and her gifts mean to you and the Church.
Advocate.
At your next staff meeting or ministry meet-up take notice of how many women are at the table or in the room. How many women are involved in the planning and dreaming of the church/ministry? What perspectives are being voiced that help speak to over 55% of your congregation?
Don’t assume women wouldn’t want to be included or hesitate because it’s new and a little uncomfortable to invite women into places – trainings, meetings, conversations – that are traditionally male-dominated. You’ll both benefit from the challenge. I wouldn’t be writing this blog if it weren’t for a brother and his peers deciding to help give a platform to SBC Women and graciously asked me to start contributing. You hold a lot of power in your influence, connections, and platforms. How are you leveraging that for your sisters? What positions are you seeking for them? How are you highlighting their gifts?
We’re Family.
I’m going to take a shot here that is going to be a bit pointed, but I think it is worth mentioning. You and I, all of us, need to be reminded that we are family. Family looks out for the good of one another. Family fights for one another not against. Family rallies, not leaving anyone to go it alone.
So much of the conversation between men and women in ministry has been highly weighted with the caution that women are a threat to your ministry. Warning that if you get too close, or you spend too much time surely you will fall into sexual sin. I know that the number of times this actually happens is more than we would like to admit, but maybe it’s because we have only talked about ‘staying away’ instead of ‘working alongside.’ We have to exchange ‘a possible moral failure’ with ‘sister in Christ.’ Are there boundaries? Absolutely. In no way am I suggesting we don’t go forward without wisdom, but we go forward with wisdom and in partnership with one another.
Brother, what women do you have in your sphere that are doing great work for the Kingdom?
Sister, what brothers have influenced your walk to help get you where you are today?
Let’s keep the conversation going……
But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into Him who is the head-Christ.
From Him the whole body, fitted and knit together by every supporting ligament, promotes the growth of the body for building up itself in love by the proper working of each individual part.
– Ephesians 4:15-16
Jacki King is a Jesus follower, Bible teacher, and Coffee Addict. She has a passion for seeing women fall in love with Jesus and His Word while challenging them to be on mission in their homes, work places, and communities. Jacki lives in Sachse,TX with her Husband Josh, who is the Lead Pastor/Elder of Sachse’s Church, along with their 3 boys Haddon (9) Leland (7) and their youngest Amos (4) who was adopted from Ethiopia. To connect with Jacki follow her on Twitter or Instagram at @JackiCKing
This is so refreshing to read on a Southern Baptist site. Something I never thought I would be reading in my lifetime. I love it.
This is excellent work. You have eloquently expressed everything I’ve been mulling over for a while now.
I was first spurred on to ministry in my youth by my youth pastor (who also comments here). My husband, who is also my pastor, continues to support my endeavors.
Thanks again for this good word.
Do you REALLY know the gifts and callings of the women in your spheres of influence? Are they serving where they should be or in the only place you’ve made space for them? Are they pushed so far away that you can only guess at their interests and talents and make assumptions from the couple hours a week you might see them from a distance?
I can’t remember where I first read the idea, but it goes something like this: We have let fear of moral failure inhibit the church’s mission. This article is great and the practical ideas given could be a great starting place for for encouraging one another and getting back to work instead of worrying about calamity.
About brothers who have influenced me. Not from the SBC, but I had a couple years of bible class at school that introduced me to theology and apologetics and theologians the first two years after I became a Christian. That teacher influenced me so much. At the same time my SBC youth pastor (man) and two Acteens leaders (women) encouraged me a lot and let me plan and execute outreach projects with the youth. I had wanted to go to seminary but didn’t see any path forward with that since I was a woman. So I went down a far different path that involves running away from church altogether for the better part of a decade. I’ve had another brother and sister from outside the SBC encourage me. And I do sometimes get encouragement at my church with my work with the youth or speaking on women’s Sunday.
Hey Kimberly,
I have so enjoyed your input here and your story. I’m thankful that God put people in your life whether SBC or not that were an encouragement to you. I remember feeling a lot of the same angst with seminary and not having a place, but it seems the tide is turning. Even without formal seminary we can all learn so much and spur one another on together. Keep going in your local church. Keep loving the students and women you get to brush shoulders with. I’m thankful you ‘came home’ and looking forward to how God is going to continue to use you. Don’t quit sister.
Let us remember God’s word and I Corinthians 14 and I Timothy 2 in regards to women’s roles in the Church and not having authority over men. This is not cultural it is God’s Word – unless you do not believe in the inerrancy of Scripture. The SBC should not hold up Beth Moore as an example for their organization if they believe Holy Word of God. She speaks as though she gets special revelation from God – Scripture is our revelation! And, she teaches men and that is unscriptural. She needs to read the bible and seek forgiveness and use Elizabeth Elliot as an example who would not preach to men on Sunday. There are other great and different views that can be seen and read such as John MacArthur and R. C. Sproul on women’s roles in the church.
You can believe in inerrancy of scripture and still believe that men can be fallible in their interpretation. We can disagree on the interpretation, but you can’t claim that everyone who disagrees with your interpretation doesn’t believe in inerrancy.
Only God is infallible – there can be no mis-interpretation of what Paul states through the Holy Spirit – how can you or anyone disagree/give a different reading of simple truth?
Sorry Tim, but I know minds aren’t changed over internet arguments with strangers, so I’m going to pass on this one. If you were truly interested in figuring that out there are plenty of people who have explained it over the internet better than I could so I’ll leave you to that if you are inclined, but I’m guessing you’re probably not. I’m on an SBC site; don’t worry I “know my role” here. Take care.
Tim,
I really think you missed the heartbeat of my post. I hope that as you read through the discussion and listen to the women God has surrounded you with, you will pray and seek out how you can encourage them to run their race. And I love Sproul, I actually mention him in my next post. Thanks for commenting.
I’m a graduate of Hannibal LaGrange University (Class ’06). This spring, two great professors retired. Dr Robert Bergen and his wife Dr. Martha Bergen. Both taught out of the Christian studies department (OT and NT respectively). And unfortunately while I was a student there, there were men (frankly they were boys) who had the same attitude that you do. Dr Martha Bergen should not be teaching them! After all it is in the bible and we believe in inerrancy! Right? Well, they, like you, while doing good in believing in inerrancy, fail to properly interpret and apply scripture today.
Dr Martha Bergen taught in school, not church, and there was no scriptural prohibition for her doing so. And she was a darn good teacher to boot.
Beth Moore is a biblically based speaker, not teacher. Her ministry for women is one of the best in Christianity, and frankly some men (like you) would do well to listen to her.
Because if we take your attitude and interpretation of scripture to heart, we should condemn women like Lottie Moon and Annie Armstrong. Two women, who taught and led men to Christ, are the namesake of our two mission drives for International and National missions.
If we take your attitude and interpretation of scripture to heart, no woman would ever get behind the microphone during service on Sunday morning (and night, and Wednesdays, ect) for any reason, lest a man might learn something. There would be no women youth and/or kids leaders because the second a boy is baptized, and by most church bylaws becomes a voting member, no woman can EVER teach him right?
No my friend, the church needs MORE women in our churches using their God given gifts, not less. There are a multitude of ministry positions within each individual church, that women are NOT prohibited from (indeed there is only one they are and that is Elder/Pastor). Attitudes like yours need to die off. It is not something based on scripture, but old fashioned misogyny.
SVMuschany in the comments section:
Yes, hit it out of the park. But someone should remind Beth or other women to wear something comfortable for sitting on a stool. And to please be sure the talk is in the form of Q&A with a pastor or elder. I’d mention the name of the church, but it might sound too politicky. I’m reminded of Bertha Smith’s plea for men to be sent to Taiwan because Baptist women don’t preach. She had just reported ‘speaking to’ hundreds of men. (Her report does not say if she sat or stood.)
Please read an article from the web site – [redacted] in regards to Beth Moore – you may change your mind about how biblically based she is. Once again, I only claim to know God’s Word from Paul as being used by the Holy Spirit. I have learned many spiritual lessons from Godly Women, including my wife. I am only talking about what the Word of God says about authority in the church. Thanks, Tim
Tim, that website is tabloid garbage and we don’t allow links or publicize what they print.
These ladies and SV gave you good solid answers Tim so I’ll not add to it but to say I believe the Bible is inerrant and inspired by God. I think I can confidently say that these other women and SV do too.
I enjoy Sproul and have read several of his books as well as listened to his sermons. I know you believe that scripture interprets scripture don’t you Tim? How using a verse here and a verse there does not good theology make?