(For reasons that would seem to be obvious, I’m allowing this post to be published anonymously. Unfortunately, we live in a Christian world in which the kind of confession our author is making could negatively impact his ministry!)
We are called to suffer, dear brother. In fact, we fill up what remains of Christ’s sufferings or, in other words, our suffering are His sufferings. And, the sufferings of this present age are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed. God grant you grace to see what I am saying.
I think he is absolutely right – though we reject and ridicule Osteen, there is more of his outlook in our thinking than we would want to admit – the idea that our ministries should be successful, rewarding, fulfilling, and make us happy here on earth.
Bless you, brother. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the deacon’s comment re: your lawn. As for social media bragging, I appreciated this tweet from one pastor, “Hope you guys are ready for some very LOW-KEY preaching! It’s going to be totally on the chain! We’re taking this to the whole same level!”
I’m put in mind of the letters of Jonathan Edwards. One was a lengthy explanation and defense of the awakening that took place in his church in Northampton, Mass. He described how for 17 years he had preached and there had been no results. If I read the letter right, not a single convert. No response. My church hasn’t exactly set the statistical house on fire, but we’ve done better than that. But after 17 years, suddenly God went to work. An awakening that changed the entire Colonial America. Makes you wonder about the adage, “Insanity is doing the same… Read more »
And for appreciation, the church fired him (Edwards). There were people and preachers who fought that Awakening every step of the way. However, there is no denying that the moral climate of the colonies improved, and the awakening provided a sameness in outlook which was a definite influence on the men who enlisted in the Patriots’ Cause.
Robin Foster
4 years ago
I can relate to many things stated in this article, but what I have learned is that if I focus on the negativity, I will be unhappy. But if I focus on Jesus and what He is doing in the church among the people, I just don’t experience happiness, but eternal Joy. It keeps me going. Seek God and where He is working. Realize the greatest blessing is the eternal difference you make in others. And you are, even if you dont see it. That is faith. That is the key to overcoming the challenges in ministry. I truly empathize… Read more »
Allen Calkins
4 years ago
Unhappy and all you speak for, First of all, I thank you for your candor and honesty. I totally understand, have been there and, in some ways, are there now. However, I have learned after 25 years of pastoring under 100 churches in under 3,000 towns to do a few things that seem to help me not want to run away from the ministry: – I tell anyone who will listen (and many who do not want to hear it) that I CANNOt get everything done that needs to be done and do not plan to try. If they want… Read more »
I’m not a pastor so cannot speak authoritatively about pastoral callings and the like. But I do have three suggestions for the conflicted pastor who wrote the post.
Of course this verse applies to pastors, it biblical context. But I do not believe it is appropriate to try to apply this taken out of context verse to this situation. Would you share this verse with someone who is dying of cancer implying that their cancer or their lack of healing is because they are not trusting the Lord with all their heart? I really do not think you would, at least that is my hope! ….Same situation here. Not every verse applies to every situation we feel like applying it to. A lot of false teaching comes out… Read more »
Bob. I can relate to yours AND Allen’s comments. Speaking as a Pastor of over 30 years experience; before I had children, I had at least 10 commandments for raising children. AFTER I had children, that dropped to 2 suggestions, and I’m not sure either of them will work. It is easy to follow God’s word, personally. It is much harder to influence others to do the same. Because sin still exists in this world.
I think your heart’s in the right place. More people need to have that attitude. And I’m not going to follow it up with a “However…” The resurrected and ascended Christ spoke to Ananias about Paul and told him that he would show Paul “how much he would suffer for my name’s sake.” Could Paul have said, “Well, now that you mention it, I really don’t want to do all that if it means I’m going to be whipped, beaten, chased, arrested, and put to death?” In fact, not only pastors, but all Christians have been called to minister in… Read more »
Jess
4 years ago
Here are a few thoughts from an old Pastor. 1. Do not try to micro-manage all things. Stick to the important matters and allow the small matters to work themselves out. 2. Don’t put more on yourself than what God does. Some folks try to work themselves to death, when God is saying slow down, you’re ahead of me. 3. Don’t try to please everyone, you are not a Sugar Daddy. 4. Remember, some folks do not want help, they have everything figured out already, they think. 5. When you pray, forget what you think you know, (Theology and etc.)… Read more »
If it might help, I will add my two cents worth from experience. There are trials in being a pastor, severe trials to say the least. Try this one on for size: The moderator of a business meeting says, “We could find nothing wrong with you, but we fired you anyway.” A deacon just previous to this announcement said, “We did this for your own good.” For your own good has resulted in no church or place to serve for nearly 19 years. Back when we used paper, I had enough rejection letters to paper a small subdivision. During this… Read more »
Thank you, dear brother. I just knew someone would come up with the words, and it is a happy surprise to have them come from you, my favorite b-I-l. God bless.
John Fariss
4 years ago
Brother, I feel for you and with you. Where you are, I have been, and to tell the truth, am still there (though right now, not as much so as I sense you are). There is a reason why we are sometimes called–and I sometimes tell people–that another name for “pastor” is “professional cat herder.” And I mean that. I will pray for you as I hope you will for me. Were I not so tired, I would wax eloquent–OK, I would drone on a bit longer–but I am so I won’t.
I’m going to make what may be a very strange, and could even be naive, suggestion(particularly given I’m not a pastor). If you can’t yet read Susan Cain’s “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”, get it and read it. This post first made me think of that because I suspect that part of the reason we tend towards Osteenism is that we live in a culture geared towards (as Cain puts it) the “Extrovert Ideal” (despite about half of people being introverted), and Osteenism is a good match for the extroverted. I first read… Read more »
I think about anyone in pastoral ministry has experienced some of what is described here. Some self-reflective questions I ask myself when I am unhappy in ministry, but am striving to find joy in the journey. I’ve found them to be helpful in my own walk — perhaps others may find them helpful too: 1. Do I love the people I serve? Is my ministry aim merely obedience or am I willing, like Paul, to “spend and be spent” for their souls? 2. Do I believe the people/person are genuinely converted? If so, do I believe that the Holy Spirit… Read more »
That’s a good list. Sadly with #2, I hear people say, “only X% of church members are truly saved” and apply it to those who come regularly. On the one hand when we have 400 “members” but 70 in attendance, yes that’s a problem. BUT, I prefer to operate under the assumption that those who actually show up regularly are actually saved, unless they give clear evidence otherwise. Seeing the gathered as Family rather than unregenerate does make a difference in attitude. #3 is important… Seeing even a small amount of growth in people covers a lot of stupidity. Assumptions,… Read more »
To all the NON-pastors reading this post — Let me encourage you to do everything you can to encourage, lift-up, support, work along-side, affirm, pray for, protect, care for, and fellowship with your pastor. Perhaps the biggest encouragement is seeing you grow in Christ-likeness as you strive to follow the Lord together.
Thanks, Todd. As a non-pastor involved in ministry in other ways, I pray for my pastors and offer substantive encouragement to them when I can. I stick up for them in conversation in their absence if I hear some question as to their character or unsubstantiated suggestions as to bad motives, and I try to do so in a positive way so that people learn to appreciate and not resent the pastors in any way. I know that I’m not alone in this. So to all the pastors here, know that someone has your back even if they don’t come… Read more »
Tarheel
4 years ago
There is some great comments and encouragements listed in this thread. Honestly I must say that myself, as well as every other pastor I know, has experienced similar feelings and emotions over the course of ministry. I would only add to the comments being made here that often people consider the “senior pastor” as the one for whom these types of lists and encouragements should apply – and often people (even sometimes senior pastors themselves) fail to realize that staff pastors are just a susceptible to the issues notated in the original post and equally need the encouragements spoken of… Read more »
Fred MacLaren
4 years ago
Anonymous blogger is a teacher/elder who is forced to be a pastor. He agonizes over what the flock is missing out on by not growing, that’s an SBC elder. He can’t write a blog post about his feelings without trying to turn it into a teachable moment for others, that’s a teacher. But a pastor meets the people where they are and just takes care of them, and that work is burning him out because it isn’t him. He knows it is the right thing to be done, but it takes him away from his calling. Which means someone else… Read more »
D.L. Payton
4 years ago
Brother Pastor I have come to this post to make a comment 5 times and then left not knowing what to say. I am not sure now what to say but here goes anyway. (1) I have been there (2) If you have made mistakes, admit it to your people and make correction (3) If your leadership is correct and you are comfortable with your decisions, then go to bed and sleep like a baby. That may sound like a cop out but my brother that is all you can do because hard-hearted people are a reality in any church.… Read more »
Karen
4 years ago
From one in the pews, I know I do not really understand what it is like for you. But it sounds like you really don’t like the people in your church and that they don’t live up to your unspoken expectations. What do you want concretely for them to do? I expect many of them have burdens of which you have no idea.
Dear Anonymous, You may not be ready to Pastor your targets just yet, because your expectations are not what the church needs. I truly hope your desire changes….because where your heart is, …is where your treasure truly is. Observations from your rant (and btw,..all of us that do Pastor have had these things run through our heads; so you will get a lot of pats on the back by many). 1. You expect to be happy (joyful). Ok, that is a Godly pursuit, yet how is happiness (joy) measured? 2. Joy is tallied by trials, and other things. Some do… Read more »
With the understanding that books are not cure all pills that magically solve problems, I would recommend a book to all struggling pastors and all pastors really. It helped me see several things in a different light:
“The Pastor’s Justification” by Jared C Wilson
Anonymous Pastor
4 years ago
(Editor: Anonymous commenting is harder than anonymous posting – I’ve created this but it keeps seeming to want to post the wrong way. Not sure it will work) I was not sure what kind of responses to expect in writing a post like this. The biggest problem is that I am determined to remain anonymous and so I cannot be any more specific than I was. Some of the commenters certainly have jumped to conclusions that I do not feel are accurate. Some have felt qualified to judge my motives, my qualifications as a pastor, my personality. My motive was… Read more »
Jeff Buchold
4 years ago
I think that it is easy for a pastor to hate his job if he believes his job is to change people. It is not our job as pastors to change people that is God’s job. We are merely the ones who carry God’s Word to sinners and redeemed sinners. What they do with that Word is on them not on us.
Anonymous Pastor has alluded to something that is frustrating to me. We have become conditioned as pastors not to share what God is doing in our churches or how special our churches may be to us because other pastors might be discouraged. I never want to discourage another pastor so I have followed this newfound rule for pastors. I have learned to share a few quirky one liners when other pastors ask me about how VBC is doing. The truth is there are many pastors who love their churches, are genuinely excited about what God is doing in their churches… Read more »
“Professional” jealousy is a very real and Present danger.
Also, the tendancy of church folk, and pastors ourselves, to “compare” our “success” against the church/pastor down the road, on the TV, on the net, or at the conference – is a joy draining Exercise.
Christ does not say to his servants “well done my good and successful servant” – he says “well done my good and *faithful* servant.
Tim Snider
4 years ago
I think my comment that follows deviates somewhat from the main intent of your post, but I think it otherwise generally fits. My thought, intended to be an encouraging one, was to remind the author of I Timothy 4:2. The author is clearly faithful to the job and to his calling. It also sounds like he might be ‘out of season’ at present. I’d just encourage him to remember that the verse was written to an audience of preachers that might originate from two camps – an ‘in season’ camp or those for which everything is going pretty well, and… Read more »
After a bit of bantering back and forth with Dave about this post Sunday afternoon, the message of the post still bugs me, because I’m yet to be convinced it approaches ministry from a biblical perspective (So, I’m glad Dave chose to open it up again). I guess, at a minimum Dave and I disagree on what is being said by the author, so, I’ll at least try to explain my contention with the attitude,…as I am hearing it,… expressed by Anonymous. Since Anonymous seems to be unhappy, yet not at risk at his church, or mentally. I could be… Read more »
Chris, For what it’s worth – I failed to see negativity or judgementalism in your post. I thought, and still think you are offering solid counsel. It’s always bothered me over the years to see pastors essentially “talk trash” about the churches (read people) they’re called to serve – constantly looking for opportunities to leave that church and just simply and joyfully cut and run at the first opportunity – or seemingly incessantly, and with much support from other pastors, pat themselves on the back for “remaining faithful in a hostile environment”. Certainly I believe at various points in the… Read more »
I’m going to try those last two paragraphs again – sorry about that – I just got to quit posting on my phone – especially using the voice feature! Certainly, I believe at various points in the life of a pastor that godly desire leads them to different places to do different things – and I understand that new desires and new directions should bring excitement for that adventure – but I’ve never been able to grasp why some pastors seem to be exuberant about leaving a church to go to another ( it’s kind a like a Presidential election… Read more »
Tarheel,…yes, I was only trying to convey a message that is rarely put forth by Pastors, because Pastors have a tough job (like many out there) and can be led to believe a false narrative about being a hero for God, eventually leading to unsavory remarks about other fellow members,…as if those members exist in their own private bubble with the Pastor fighting feverishly to bust through the veneer and experience happy, compliant, obedient sheep. I’ve never bought into that semi-popular false narrative.
The Apostle Paul makes it clear that the false narrative is to be avoided.
Just to lighten things up a bit. I’ve been an evangelist for 37 years. I did pastor for 5 years however I was a horrible pastor. Yet in that 5 years God was preparing me for this ministry. Jesus was walking down the street and saw a guy setting beside the road crying. Jesus asked him why he was crying. The man said, I’m blind, I can’t see. Jesus touched him and heals him and he went away seeing and rejoicing. He went down the street a little further and he saw another guy crying. Jesus asked him why he… Read more »
I also have great respect and love for pastors. I pastored 30 years, up’s and down’s heartache and joy but by and large it was good.
I have now been a DOM (don’t use that name but…) in Montana for 22 years. I had more stress and heartache in a single year as a pastor than I have had in the 22 years combined here in Montana. Far and away Pastor’s have the hardest task in the Kingdom…not close second.
Mention was made in the Conference at MWBTS to do away with DOMs and the local associations, and it seems like efforts are already under way to do that very thing. It is aided and abetted by pastors who do not feel or see the need for a local association and not even a state convention. My answer is that the local association is the one grouping other than the local church for which a biblical case can be made. Seeing how an associational missionary, as they were called, when I began my ministry, or a DOM can encourage and… Read more »
linda
4 years ago
The post could be written from the point of view of the unhappy church member. So often we are honest and upfront with a perspective pastor as to our beliefs, our goals, our local demographics, our finances, and our target demographics. Said potential pastor seems to think he is a good fit for the very real church in that location. Then he arrives and wants everything changed and is totally shocked when people don’t jump on board, and cannot understand why his leadership lacks followership. Must be those blamed sheep love their traditions more than they love Jesus. Or wait–maybe… Read more »
I’m sure our wonderful pastor would welcome your prayers, and I choose to ignore the slap in the face you intended for me, Allen. You illustrated my point wonderfully. Our pastor is a marvelous willing capable man. He came, assessed the church that was calling him, and decided to love and serve us. Not some mythological demographic he wants to reach that doesn’t even live in our town. Not the church he thinks we should be. Just a whole heap of loving, striving to serve Jesus Christians who probably don’t do everything just the way he wants us to do… Read more »
Well Linda, You are quite blunt (I respect that) an you make excellent points. Your last sentence is a gem. I hope all us pastors see it and ponder it deeply. Yes, pastors are shepherds and leaders and and we have stresses unique to our “jobs” and they are intense and gut wrenching and difficult at times – but we must never forget that all Christians seeking to live to the glory of God in the situation he has placed them in do too. Dave Miller posted that “the bragging throng” must stop – I agree – but so must… Read more »
Tarheel, I think what you have said is an important point to make….. “Dave Miller posted that “the bragging throng” must stop – I agree – but so must the victim playing that a lot of us a pastors do. While the theme around hurting Pastors is real, and the remedy is more scarce inside the church, there is a larger issue that you have identified as the “victim playing” that is important to talk about. Because the nexus of the victim player is selfish motives, whether that be a plea for real help, or a play for control. Both… Read more »
Chris
4 years ago
I posted this one other time but thought this post warranted a repeat. Don’t forget that NAMB has a pastor support line. 1-844-Pastor1 As a pastor myself, I have often had to call friends in the ministry for prayer, support, encouragement, etc. The struggle is real but the help is also there. Blessings.
I’m not married, so this doesn’t presently affect me but I’ve seen it in the relationships of my pastor friends…
It’s great we have a hotline, but they need a call line for the wives of pastors as well. (Maybe they do have one, I’ve just yet to find one in the limited research I’ve done for my friends.)
I don’t know about a helpline, but NAMB does have an online ministry wives outreach called Flourish (http://flourish.me/). The Focus on the Family pastoral care line is also open to pastors and their family members. I’ve also been a member of an online non-denominational PW discussion board for several years that has been a great source of encouragement and friendship. http://www.pastorswives.org/
But yes, you’re absolutely right–PW’s need opportunities for networking and support as well. I’d love to see more associations and state conventions putting energy into creating such opportunities.
We are called to suffer, dear brother. In fact, we fill up what remains of Christ’s sufferings or, in other words, our suffering are His sufferings. And, the sufferings of this present age are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed. God grant you grace to see what I am saying.
I think that what you are saying is the same thing the author was trying to say.
You are right, Dave. As usual, but with a few exceptions.:)
I think he is absolutely right – though we reject and ridicule Osteen, there is more of his outlook in our thinking than we would want to admit – the idea that our ministries should be successful, rewarding, fulfilling, and make us happy here on earth.
Bless you, brother. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the deacon’s comment re: your lawn. As for social media bragging, I appreciated this tweet from one pastor, “Hope you guys are ready for some very LOW-KEY preaching! It’s going to be totally on the chain! We’re taking this to the whole same level!”
I may use that tweet on Sunday. That’s classic.
That reminds me…I need to get out and mow MY lawn.
Josh, I wanted to, but just didn’t have the nerve to post that tweet. But I’m headed in to early service for some “on the chain” worship!
I’m such a coward!
Credit goes to Jared Wilson on the tweet!
I’m put in mind of the letters of Jonathan Edwards. One was a lengthy explanation and defense of the awakening that took place in his church in Northampton, Mass. He described how for 17 years he had preached and there had been no results. If I read the letter right, not a single convert. No response. My church hasn’t exactly set the statistical house on fire, but we’ve done better than that. But after 17 years, suddenly God went to work. An awakening that changed the entire Colonial America. Makes you wonder about the adage, “Insanity is doing the same… Read more »
Thanks for that Dave. I was told that definition of insanity recently.
And for appreciation, the church fired him (Edwards). There were people and preachers who fought that Awakening every step of the way. However, there is no denying that the moral climate of the colonies improved, and the awakening provided a sameness in outlook which was a definite influence on the men who enlisted in the Patriots’ Cause.
I can relate to many things stated in this article, but what I have learned is that if I focus on the negativity, I will be unhappy. But if I focus on Jesus and what He is doing in the church among the people, I just don’t experience happiness, but eternal Joy. It keeps me going. Seek God and where He is working. Realize the greatest blessing is the eternal difference you make in others. And you are, even if you dont see it. That is faith. That is the key to overcoming the challenges in ministry. I truly empathize… Read more »
Unhappy and all you speak for, First of all, I thank you for your candor and honesty. I totally understand, have been there and, in some ways, are there now. However, I have learned after 25 years of pastoring under 100 churches in under 3,000 towns to do a few things that seem to help me not want to run away from the ministry: – I tell anyone who will listen (and many who do not want to hear it) that I CANNOt get everything done that needs to be done and do not plan to try. If they want… Read more »
Maybe a little levity?
http://youtu.be/08e9k-c91E8
Robin,
This is the best comment or post that has ever been put on Voices….ever! Thanks….
David
Awwww, I’m blushing.
Have you seen the Jack Sparrow meme that’s been going around? Classic!
Yes, I have seen it…its a good meme.
I’m not a pastor so cannot speak authoritatively about pastoral callings and the like. But I do have three suggestions for the conflicted pastor who wrote the post.
1) Read Psalm 37:4.
2) Believe it.
3) Act accordingly.
No, you are not a pastor…..
So … we found a verse that doesn’t apply to pastors?
Interesting.
Of course this verse applies to pastors, it biblical context. But I do not believe it is appropriate to try to apply this taken out of context verse to this situation. Would you share this verse with someone who is dying of cancer implying that their cancer or their lack of healing is because they are not trusting the Lord with all their heart? I really do not think you would, at least that is my hope! ….Same situation here. Not every verse applies to every situation we feel like applying it to. A lot of false teaching comes out… Read more »
Bob. I can relate to yours AND Allen’s comments. Speaking as a Pastor of over 30 years experience; before I had children, I had at least 10 commandments for raising children. AFTER I had children, that dropped to 2 suggestions, and I’m not sure either of them will work. It is easy to follow God’s word, personally. It is much harder to influence others to do the same. Because sin still exists in this world.
I think your heart’s in the right place. More people need to have that attitude. And I’m not going to follow it up with a “However…” The resurrected and ascended Christ spoke to Ananias about Paul and told him that he would show Paul “how much he would suffer for my name’s sake.” Could Paul have said, “Well, now that you mention it, I really don’t want to do all that if it means I’m going to be whipped, beaten, chased, arrested, and put to death?” In fact, not only pastors, but all Christians have been called to minister in… Read more »
Here are a few thoughts from an old Pastor. 1. Do not try to micro-manage all things. Stick to the important matters and allow the small matters to work themselves out. 2. Don’t put more on yourself than what God does. Some folks try to work themselves to death, when God is saying slow down, you’re ahead of me. 3. Don’t try to please everyone, you are not a Sugar Daddy. 4. Remember, some folks do not want help, they have everything figured out already, they think. 5. When you pray, forget what you think you know, (Theology and etc.)… Read more »
Jess
very well said
If it might help, I will add my two cents worth from experience. There are trials in being a pastor, severe trials to say the least. Try this one on for size: The moderator of a business meeting says, “We could find nothing wrong with you, but we fired you anyway.” A deacon just previous to this announcement said, “We did this for your own good.” For your own good has resulted in no church or place to serve for nearly 19 years. Back when we used paper, I had enough rejection letters to paper a small subdivision. During this… Read more »
Dr. JW
The words to the Hee Haw song are as follows:
Gloom dispair and agony on me
Deep dark depression excessive misery
If it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all
Gloom dispair and agony on me
Thank you, dear brother. I just knew someone would come up with the words, and it is a happy surprise to have them come from you, my favorite b-I-l. God bless.
Brother, I feel for you and with you. Where you are, I have been, and to tell the truth, am still there (though right now, not as much so as I sense you are). There is a reason why we are sometimes called–and I sometimes tell people–that another name for “pastor” is “professional cat herder.” And I mean that. I will pray for you as I hope you will for me. Were I not so tired, I would wax eloquent–OK, I would drone on a bit longer–but I am so I won’t.
John
I’m going to make what may be a very strange, and could even be naive, suggestion(particularly given I’m not a pastor). If you can’t yet read Susan Cain’s “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”, get it and read it. This post first made me think of that because I suspect that part of the reason we tend towards Osteenism is that we live in a culture geared towards (as Cain puts it) the “Extrovert Ideal” (despite about half of people being introverted), and Osteenism is a good match for the extroverted. I first read… Read more »
I think about anyone in pastoral ministry has experienced some of what is described here. Some self-reflective questions I ask myself when I am unhappy in ministry, but am striving to find joy in the journey. I’ve found them to be helpful in my own walk — perhaps others may find them helpful too: 1. Do I love the people I serve? Is my ministry aim merely obedience or am I willing, like Paul, to “spend and be spent” for their souls? 2. Do I believe the people/person are genuinely converted? If so, do I believe that the Holy Spirit… Read more »
That’s a good list. Sadly with #2, I hear people say, “only X% of church members are truly saved” and apply it to those who come regularly. On the one hand when we have 400 “members” but 70 in attendance, yes that’s a problem. BUT, I prefer to operate under the assumption that those who actually show up regularly are actually saved, unless they give clear evidence otherwise. Seeing the gathered as Family rather than unregenerate does make a difference in attitude. #3 is important… Seeing even a small amount of growth in people covers a lot of stupidity. Assumptions,… Read more »
To all the NON-pastors reading this post — Let me encourage you to do everything you can to encourage, lift-up, support, work along-side, affirm, pray for, protect, care for, and fellowship with your pastor. Perhaps the biggest encouragement is seeing you grow in Christ-likeness as you strive to follow the Lord together.
Thanks, Todd. As a non-pastor involved in ministry in other ways, I pray for my pastors and offer substantive encouragement to them when I can. I stick up for them in conversation in their absence if I hear some question as to their character or unsubstantiated suggestions as to bad motives, and I try to do so in a positive way so that people learn to appreciate and not resent the pastors in any way. I know that I’m not alone in this. So to all the pastors here, know that someone has your back even if they don’t come… Read more »
There is some great comments and encouragements listed in this thread. Honestly I must say that myself, as well as every other pastor I know, has experienced similar feelings and emotions over the course of ministry. I would only add to the comments being made here that often people consider the “senior pastor” as the one for whom these types of lists and encouragements should apply – and often people (even sometimes senior pastors themselves) fail to realize that staff pastors are just a susceptible to the issues notated in the original post and equally need the encouragements spoken of… Read more »
Anonymous blogger is a teacher/elder who is forced to be a pastor. He agonizes over what the flock is missing out on by not growing, that’s an SBC elder. He can’t write a blog post about his feelings without trying to turn it into a teachable moment for others, that’s a teacher. But a pastor meets the people where they are and just takes care of them, and that work is burning him out because it isn’t him. He knows it is the right thing to be done, but it takes him away from his calling. Which means someone else… Read more »
Brother Pastor I have come to this post to make a comment 5 times and then left not knowing what to say. I am not sure now what to say but here goes anyway. (1) I have been there (2) If you have made mistakes, admit it to your people and make correction (3) If your leadership is correct and you are comfortable with your decisions, then go to bed and sleep like a baby. That may sound like a cop out but my brother that is all you can do because hard-hearted people are a reality in any church.… Read more »
From one in the pews, I know I do not really understand what it is like for you. But it sounds like you really don’t like the people in your church and that they don’t live up to your unspoken expectations. What do you want concretely for them to do? I expect many of them have burdens of which you have no idea.
That’s an excellent point too Karen!
We gotta remember that our church members are working in jobs with people they may not like – or feel unappreciated by.
They have stressors at home too.
They have frustrations with thier pastors and fellow church members.
Ministry is hard as is life for everyone else.
Dear Anonymous, You may not be ready to Pastor your targets just yet, because your expectations are not what the church needs. I truly hope your desire changes….because where your heart is, …is where your treasure truly is. Observations from your rant (and btw,..all of us that do Pastor have had these things run through our heads; so you will get a lot of pats on the back by many). 1. You expect to be happy (joyful). Ok, that is a Godly pursuit, yet how is happiness (joy) measured? 2. Joy is tallied by trials, and other things. Some do… Read more »
With the understanding that books are not cure all pills that magically solve problems, I would recommend a book to all struggling pastors and all pastors really. It helped me see several things in a different light:
“The Pastor’s Justification” by Jared C Wilson
(Editor: Anonymous commenting is harder than anonymous posting – I’ve created this but it keeps seeming to want to post the wrong way. Not sure it will work) I was not sure what kind of responses to expect in writing a post like this. The biggest problem is that I am determined to remain anonymous and so I cannot be any more specific than I was. Some of the commenters certainly have jumped to conclusions that I do not feel are accurate. Some have felt qualified to judge my motives, my qualifications as a pastor, my personality. My motive was… Read more »
I think that it is easy for a pastor to hate his job if he believes his job is to change people. It is not our job as pastors to change people that is God’s job. We are merely the ones who carry God’s Word to sinners and redeemed sinners. What they do with that Word is on them not on us.
Jeff
Anonymous Pastor has alluded to something that is frustrating to me. We have become conditioned as pastors not to share what God is doing in our churches or how special our churches may be to us because other pastors might be discouraged. I never want to discourage another pastor so I have followed this newfound rule for pastors. I have learned to share a few quirky one liners when other pastors ask me about how VBC is doing. The truth is there are many pastors who love their churches, are genuinely excited about what God is doing in their churches… Read more »
That’s right, Dean.
“Professional” jealousy is a very real and Present danger.
Also, the tendancy of church folk, and pastors ourselves, to “compare” our “success” against the church/pastor down the road, on the TV, on the net, or at the conference – is a joy draining Exercise.
Christ does not say to his servants “well done my good and successful servant” – he says “well done my good and *faithful* servant.
I think my comment that follows deviates somewhat from the main intent of your post, but I think it otherwise generally fits. My thought, intended to be an encouraging one, was to remind the author of I Timothy 4:2. The author is clearly faithful to the job and to his calling. It also sounds like he might be ‘out of season’ at present. I’d just encourage him to remember that the verse was written to an audience of preachers that might originate from two camps – an ‘in season’ camp or those for which everything is going pretty well, and… Read more »
After a bit of bantering back and forth with Dave about this post Sunday afternoon, the message of the post still bugs me, because I’m yet to be convinced it approaches ministry from a biblical perspective (So, I’m glad Dave chose to open it up again). I guess, at a minimum Dave and I disagree on what is being said by the author, so, I’ll at least try to explain my contention with the attitude,…as I am hearing it,… expressed by Anonymous. Since Anonymous seems to be unhappy, yet not at risk at his church, or mentally. I could be… Read more »
Chris, For what it’s worth – I failed to see negativity or judgementalism in your post. I thought, and still think you are offering solid counsel. It’s always bothered me over the years to see pastors essentially “talk trash” about the churches (read people) they’re called to serve – constantly looking for opportunities to leave that church and just simply and joyfully cut and run at the first opportunity – or seemingly incessantly, and with much support from other pastors, pat themselves on the back for “remaining faithful in a hostile environment”. Certainly I believe at various points in the… Read more »
I’m going to try those last two paragraphs again – sorry about that – I just got to quit posting on my phone – especially using the voice feature! Certainly, I believe at various points in the life of a pastor that godly desire leads them to different places to do different things – and I understand that new desires and new directions should bring excitement for that adventure – but I’ve never been able to grasp why some pastors seem to be exuberant about leaving a church to go to another ( it’s kind a like a Presidential election… Read more »
Tarheel,…yes, I was only trying to convey a message that is rarely put forth by Pastors, because Pastors have a tough job (like many out there) and can be led to believe a false narrative about being a hero for God, eventually leading to unsavory remarks about other fellow members,…as if those members exist in their own private bubble with the Pastor fighting feverishly to bust through the veneer and experience happy, compliant, obedient sheep. I’ve never bought into that semi-popular false narrative.
The Apostle Paul makes it clear that the false narrative is to be avoided.
Just to lighten things up a bit. I’ve been an evangelist for 37 years. I did pastor for 5 years however I was a horrible pastor. Yet in that 5 years God was preparing me for this ministry. Jesus was walking down the street and saw a guy setting beside the road crying. Jesus asked him why he was crying. The man said, I’m blind, I can’t see. Jesus touched him and heals him and he went away seeing and rejoicing. He went down the street a little further and he saw another guy crying. Jesus asked him why he… Read more »
Tim
I also have great respect and love for pastors. I pastored 30 years, up’s and down’s heartache and joy but by and large it was good.
I have now been a DOM (don’t use that name but…) in Montana for 22 years. I had more stress and heartache in a single year as a pastor than I have had in the 22 years combined here in Montana. Far and away Pastor’s have the hardest task in the Kingdom…not close second.
Mention was made in the Conference at MWBTS to do away with DOMs and the local associations, and it seems like efforts are already under way to do that very thing. It is aided and abetted by pastors who do not feel or see the need for a local association and not even a state convention. My answer is that the local association is the one grouping other than the local church for which a biblical case can be made. Seeing how an associational missionary, as they were called, when I began my ministry, or a DOM can encourage and… Read more »
The post could be written from the point of view of the unhappy church member. So often we are honest and upfront with a perspective pastor as to our beliefs, our goals, our local demographics, our finances, and our target demographics. Said potential pastor seems to think he is a good fit for the very real church in that location. Then he arrives and wants everything changed and is totally shocked when people don’t jump on board, and cannot understand why his leadership lacks followership. Must be those blamed sheep love their traditions more than they love Jesus. Or wait–maybe… Read more »
Wow…praying for YOUR Pastor.
lol
I’m sure our wonderful pastor would welcome your prayers, and I choose to ignore the slap in the face you intended for me, Allen. You illustrated my point wonderfully. Our pastor is a marvelous willing capable man. He came, assessed the church that was calling him, and decided to love and serve us. Not some mythological demographic he wants to reach that doesn’t even live in our town. Not the church he thinks we should be. Just a whole heap of loving, striving to serve Jesus Christians who probably don’t do everything just the way he wants us to do… Read more »
Well Linda, You are quite blunt (I respect that) an you make excellent points. Your last sentence is a gem. I hope all us pastors see it and ponder it deeply. Yes, pastors are shepherds and leaders and and we have stresses unique to our “jobs” and they are intense and gut wrenching and difficult at times – but we must never forget that all Christians seeking to live to the glory of God in the situation he has placed them in do too. Dave Miller posted that “the bragging throng” must stop – I agree – but so must… Read more »
Tarheel, I think what you have said is an important point to make….. “Dave Miller posted that “the bragging throng” must stop – I agree – but so must the victim playing that a lot of us a pastors do. While the theme around hurting Pastors is real, and the remedy is more scarce inside the church, there is a larger issue that you have identified as the “victim playing” that is important to talk about. Because the nexus of the victim player is selfish motives, whether that be a plea for real help, or a play for control. Both… Read more »
I posted this one other time but thought this post warranted a repeat. Don’t forget that NAMB has a pastor support line. 1-844-Pastor1 As a pastor myself, I have often had to call friends in the ministry for prayer, support, encouragement, etc. The struggle is real but the help is also there. Blessings.
I’m not married, so this doesn’t presently affect me but I’ve seen it in the relationships of my pastor friends…
It’s great we have a hotline, but they need a call line for the wives of pastors as well. (Maybe they do have one, I’ve just yet to find one in the limited research I’ve done for my friends.)
I don’t know about a helpline, but NAMB does have an online ministry wives outreach called Flourish (http://flourish.me/). The Focus on the Family pastoral care line is also open to pastors and their family members. I’ve also been a member of an online non-denominational PW discussion board for several years that has been a great source of encouragement and friendship. http://www.pastorswives.org/
But yes, you’re absolutely right–PW’s need opportunities for networking and support as well. I’d love to see more associations and state conventions putting energy into creating such opportunities.