Family is an interesting thing. For the most part, you don’t pick your family, you show up into the world with people that stay in your life and you have no say in the matter. The church can be like that. We become part of the family and look around and see who else is in the body with us. Many times we find people we connect with and click with. Sometimes we find ourselves at odds with people, and sometimes we find people we just don’t agree with, but love anyway.
I have some brothers who I love dearly but I just don’t always agree with. I don’t agree with everything that Rick Warren has said, I disagree with some of the actions of Mark Driscoll, some of the things that he says grieves me. Sometimes Peter Lumpkins and I have disagreed on blogs. Dave Miller loves the Yankees. Enough said.
I meet with one of these guys once a week usually. I have met one of these guys a couple times, had some conversations with him. One of these guys I have interacted with via blogs and one of these guys I have only heard him preach online and read some of his materials. I love all of these guys as brothers, and I really believe that they have a desire to serve Christ. I think they are doing what they believe is best to further the kingdom and to serve the Savior. Sometimes they have all messed up, there are some things they each say that I don’t agree with, and one who supports an evil baseball empire.
So how do I deal with these 4 men? I could argue and be malicious. I could cut them down, call them liberals and Red Sox fans. I could tell everyone how they need to be judged for their evil and malicious ways. None of those things seem like a very Christian options. So I have to ask myself some questions. Do I need to be offended? Is this a doctrine that will divide us? Will Dave really suffer eternal torment for liking the Yankees? If all of these things, will there be division, and will it help of hinder the cause of Christ in my reactions?
There are some things which I know I need to overlook. Those things in which I don’t overlook, I have to ask myself how can I deal with it? What do I need to say, what do I need to do? How should I interact with Rick Warren, should I write him an e-mail? Should I blog about Dave Miller? As I relate, there are a few things I need to ask myself.
1. Is this issue something that affects me or others? Do I need to address it as something personal or something that is hurting the Body of Christ?
2. If this is personal, have I gone through the process of Matthew 18, going first in private and then brings a few trusted men of wisdom with me to address the issue.
3. If this issue effects other believers, have I addressed it with grace and gentleness in an attempt to restore and make reconciliation? Am I doing damage to a brother or to the body as a whole?
4. Am I applying 1 Corinthians 13? Am I being patient, kind, not being arrogant or rude? Am I insisting on my own way, am I being irritable or resentful? Am I believing, hoping and enduring? If I am not, can I really say I am approaching my brother in love?
5. Am I restoring gently? In Galatians 6, I am told that we should restore a brother gently in a spirit of gentleness. There is a not of gentle going on in that verse. Are my words and actions gentile? Will the result of my actions be a more unified body, or one more torn apart? Am I being gentle and loving?
If I can’t apply these things, if I am not working out of gentleness and love and compassion, then maybe I shouldn’t say anything. Am I saying something for the benefit of the church, for the good of the entire body, or for my own ego? Am I loving my brothers? I need to check myself, check my motivation and make sure when I am interacting with anyone from Dave Miller to Mark Driscoll, from Peter Lumpkin or Rick Warren, that it’s filled with grace and love.
My blogging family, I hope and pray that my writings are supportive and encouraging, that they are gentile and filled with grace. My hope and desire is that as we interact on blogs that we are encouraged and occasionally amused. That our interactions will be filled with fellowship and will be fruitful and we support one other in love and grace.
Oh yeah. I’d especially watch out for Dave Miller. I hear he wears neon lime green suits.
I appreciate your thoughts but recognize that most blogging conflicts do not involve restoring fallen brethren/sistren nor do they qualify for invoking Matt 18. 1 Cor 13 always applies, though, and is noticable when it is ignored.
he wears neon green suits, but substitutes a skirt for pants. Definitely suspicious.
The Spiderman outfit is what concerns me the most.
It was a tablecloth I was standing in front of!!
One of these things is not like the other.
Good morning, DAN
when I was reading your post about ‘restoring’ gently, this famous homily from St. Augustine came to mind:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTV6z1DdDpg&feature=related
‘If you keep silent, keep silent by love
If you correct, correct by love
If you pardon, pardon by love
Let love be rooted in you
And from the root, nothing but good can grow”
Christine, So right on! The Word of God, which is “the word of God”, does not lie. The Lord commands us to love. In love there is no fear, no worry, no analyzing, no trying to figure it out, no nitpicking and eating one another up! God takes care of each of us and He is the only One Who can do it with both mercy and justice. So, if one is worried about another proclaimed believer being “off”, just surrender that believer to God. God is honored that we would be so humbled as to say “God, you know,… Read more »
Dan, I appreciate the post. Sometimes bloggers are prone to make things so darn personal rather than exchanging thoughts, ideas, opinions, inferences, interpretations, and/or perspectives. A brother and I exchanged this morning on the phone (yes, he’s my genuine 5PC bud), him inquiring if I had a private face-to-face with Dr. Mohler would I gain a new respect for him. He was surprised to learn I have no disrespect for Dr. Mohler and showed it by rehearsing many things I admire about him (and have said so publicly). The contention I have with Mohler is issue-driven. And, while I fail… Read more »
“It will be because I think God will be pleased if I move in another direction. ”
God bless you, Peter, forever and ever.
Peter,
That picture doesn’t look much like you. 😉
He’s been going through some changes.
Dan: I’ve never heard someone ask that their writings be goyim before:
“I hope and pray that my writings are supportive and encouraging, that they are gentile and filled with grace.”
Ya, well I am setting a new trend I suppose.
In all things, love.
Sometimes God’s love is stern.
D’Oh!
Great post.
We in the body of Christ (obviously not just any given local church) are one family; what a great picture. This is not only good advice for bloggers, but also a perfect if not THE perfect perspective for pastors. We don’t get to pick church members, the youth group, or who is in choir. We have to love, lead, and disciple them and like them, though not everything they do. Romans 12:10 says “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” We must like each other and honor each other more than ourselves in order to… Read more »
Amen!
I commented under Christine.
Love! I know that sounds so “touchy-feeley”. I assure you, I am not talking about the “touchy-feeley” love. I am talking about the real thing! Love that survives the test of time! Love that follows us into eternity!
Gail
GREAT post; would that all of us read this, digest this, and live this….