Please note: I started this blog post with the idea it would go on my blog and be, well, read by about 3 people. Then I was honored with a request to put something up over here. In the interest of not making you wait for me to write perfectly, you’ll get what I’ve got. Doug
Someday, it’s bound to happen to you too, but I know it has happened to me. You’re sitting there, reading along, whether it be book, magazine, blog or journal and the moment comes. Perhaps you’re listening at a conference, convention, or watching the news. The moment hits, and you feel almost angry from it.
What happened? One of the most irritating people you’re aware of just uttered an opinion, viewpoint, or theological idea. The problem? It was brilliant. It was well-reasoned. It was right. At the very least, if you’re not certain it was those things, it was, well, the same as yours. It may have happened in politics, whether it was Glenn Beck or Keith Olbermann, theology, whether funda-servative or lib-orate, or anything else.
And you’re beyond aghast. You’re indignant. Here’s the person that, for all of the image of God they were created in, you just can’t stand. They’re rude, they’re ignorant, they’re intolerant. They’re mean to their supporters and downright awful to their detractors. Even their behavior shows that down in, the person is more than just easily agitated: they’re vindicative to the core. If Jesus hadn’t said not to, you’d consider calling this person a fool! (Matt. 5:22; Ecclesiastes 10:3 and Proverbs 10:23)
Certainly, you can’t hold the same views as this person! It can’t be possible, can it? After all, we all know that we are, though sinful (even totally depraved, perhaps), among the smartest people we know. We’re personally convinced that we’re right, and that we’re appropriately loving, compassionate, and considerate. Which is so opposite the person you’ve found yourself in agreement with that you both can’t be on the same side!
What to do? Well, here are a few thoughts:
- Consider your own position. Is it possible that you are holding to your views and need to change your own view? I’m personally very convinced the Bible is always right, and so will not discard seeking to have my opinion driven by Scripture. However, there are interpretations and context to consider. Have I considered it rightly? Am I right? When I find my opinion shared by people who do not show Christ as the center of their life and behavior, I am challenged first to consider my own views. Scripture, after all, speaks of leaving the presence of fools in Proverbs (14:7) and Psalms (Psalm 1). However, as we used to say at UPS, “Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then,” so it is with foolish people: they may be right.
- Consider your problem with this person. Are you attempting to do what only God can by judging their motives and heart? (1 Samuel 16:7) It is true that trees are known by their fruit (Luke 6:44) and we can evaluate fruit, but are you jumping to a conclusion and judging someone when it’s not your job to do so? (Romans 14:4) Is it possible that you’re irritated with someone though you have no right to do so? If so, get over yourself. The Lord Jesus Christ had to die for you too, not just for those who irritate you.
- Consider your responses. If you are in a discussion, like a blog stream or a public debate, be mindful of your words. (Matthew 12:36) Strive to keep yourself on task and on topic, even as the discussion degenerates to pointless personal fights (Proverbs 20:3). Strive not to answer the same way the other person does, but rather to answer with wisdom (Proverbs 26:4-5), and you will not beat the wisdom of God in His Word. Don’t spend too many words distancing yourself, but rather let your own tones and arguments show that you and your like-minded irritant are different people. Let the action of how you speak be clear.
- Consider your limitations. Shall we rehearse some important things here? In Exodus, Moses talks face-to-face with Almighty God. Moses then is rejected by the Israelites. In 1 Samuel, Samuel talks with Almighty God. Samuel is then rejected by the Israelites. The Lord of Hosts warns Isaiah in chapter 6 that Isaiah is going to a people that will hear and not get it. Prophet after prophet has had trouble making himself understood. I won’t class the Lord Jesus as not being understood, I actually think He was clearly understood by everyone but the Apostles. They crucified Him not because they misunderstood, but because they knew. Anyway…the prophets, even Peter and Paul were inspired by the Holy Spirit, had truly seen God, and the people they dealt with still questioned their motivations, questioned their words, and questioned their spiritual life. Do you expect to be perfectly understood when they were not?
So, in all, realize that if you’re right, you’re right. Even if a host of ornery people agree with you and the nicest people in the world think you’re wrong. Just because you share a common opinion does not make you a clone of, nor a mouthpiece for, someone you don’t like. Neither allow yourself to completely copy that person nor abandon truth because of them.
I appreciate Doug Hibbard sharing this with us. He is a frequent commenter here and also maintains his own blog, creatively called, “Doug Hibbard’s Blog.”
Guest post and a link to my blog, so I’m not going to be at all bothered by your shot at my blog title. It’s as creative as calling a baseball team up north “Yankees.” Everybody from up yonder is a “Yankee.”
And, at one point I looked at switching from “blogger” to “WordPress,” and now, since I’m using Windows Live Writer to blog, I can post to both.
Guess what the other one’s called?
Doug’s WordPress Blog.
Yep. And I labeled my sermon points last week: A,B,C,D.
I called it creative. How did you come up with it?
The name was given more than 30 years ago, before there were blogs!
I guess I’m just glad you didn’t give me a handwritten copy. As I understand it, I might have had trouble reading it!
If I ever go back to the SBC, I’m pre-printing any ideas I have.
More seriously, I have actually struggled with this. I have written articles and then found someone I am not a big fan of making an almost identical point.
I learned kind of what you learned. Something is not true because a friend of mine says it. It is not untrue because someone I do not like says its.
Truth is true. Integrity demands that we serve truth.
I thought you made some really good points.
Great post Doug. I think it would be good to note here that on each side of a given issue there is the potential for a genetic fallacy when we focus on the person making an argument and not the argument being advanced. On the one hand, when we reject an argument based on the one making it, we commit the fallacy of ad hominem. On the other hand, when we accept an argument based on who presented it, then we commit the equally fallacious act of appealing to authority. That’s why it is so important to accept or reject… Read more »
You make a good point.
I remember being a part of a non-denominational church for a while that essentially rejected all things Baptist. They had formed from a split in a Baptist church, so they wanted to avoid anything that sounded like the Baptist way. They had no budget, no business meetings, no willingness to stand on Scripture. Instead, how you felt was all that mattered.
There were people involved that wanted something different, something closer to Biblical, but they were blinded on the ad hominem side as well: if the Baptists did it,it couldn’t be right.
Tragic.
Doug–
That was a mouthfull!!!!
Why is it more fun to hate than to love / disagree than agree / have a constant bittnerness control you and miss the joy and peace of the Christmas season?????
Good questions to answer. Why is it easier?
Probably because we don’t want to realize how much it took for God to accept us, so that we can hold against our supposed enemies all the things God has to forgive in them.
It’s a shame. Remember, the poor, lowly shepherds had less distance to go than the wealthy, lofty Magi. But they all found the One they needed.
“Remember, the poor, lowly shepherds had less distance to go than the wealthy, lofty Magi. But they all found the One they needed.”
wonderful comment, Doug
Doug, Very good words for all of us to try to live by. Your principle, “Consider Your Responses,” was particularly relevant, especially on a blog like Voices. With so many different voices and opinions, the dialogue (including my own) can produce more heat than light at times. I try, with varying degrees of success, to engage issues and not people. That is easier said than done in some instances because of the way that some folks respond to initial arguments and opinions. In the end, you have to know when productive dialogue is no longer possible with someone and therefore,… Read more »
Howell, Thanks for the encouraging words. Personally, I have tons of difficulty doing what I suggest, whether in blog or in person. One of the things I’ve been reminded of, though, is that I cannot change anyone else’s response, so I’m trying to learn to focus on my own behavior. And as much as preachers like to pick on lawyers, I think it’s inherently true that neither group can walk away from a good argument. I’ve disappointed before when someone changed their mind and agreed with me too quickly! I wanted argument and not agreement. That was a convicting moment.… Read more »
I almost don’t understand the problem. For the opportunity to demonstrate Christian love for someone I am otherwise critical of, I always heartily welcome such moments of agreement and rejoice in the resonance of the truth in all things.
You’re a step ahead of me, then, because I usually have to back off and realize that’s what the situation presents.
Also, a portion of the problem I’ve had is when it seems like I’m agreeing with someone, but don’t want to be lumped in with them. Politically, Glenn Beck comes to mind. He’s got some good points, and then some really wacky ones. I don’t want to be a yes-man to his ideas, but I also shouldn’t just change my view just so I’m not seen as agreeing with him.
Thanks for reading, though.