I must admit some personal irony to the subject at hand (no pun to be intended), I did quite the boyish thing seven weeks ago, by turning one of our young adults into a tackling dummy during a church volleyball game. Landed awkwardly on my wrist and broke a bone. Funny thing is it didn’t hurt that bad and looked fine, so I went 2 weeks without knowing it was broke. Then spent 4 weeks in a cast, and now find myself in the middle of at least a 2-week stint in a splint… makes typing at a computer and therefore blogging a bit difficult.
So I’m going to keep this short—mainly in the form of the question in the title…
Churches need leadership and families need leadership. Let’s not denigrate the ladies here. We men need the ladies in our churches and family. In the beginning God said it’s not good for the man to be alone, and he gave Eve to Adam as his helper and partner. We need the ladies in our lives. But, God calls men to stand up and be the self-sacrificing, Jesus-following leaders in the church (1 Timothy 3, Titus 1) and the home (Ephesians 5, 1 Peter 3).
I just recently picked up a book I should have years ago (especially since it was recommended to me over a decade ago)… Gene Getz’s The Measure of a Man. Its argument: the character traits for pastors and deacons are not merely meant for pastors and deacons, but rather mark the character all men should strive to have. (Pastors and deacons are then proven leaders and examples in these traits).
The 20 traits he gives are: spiritually mature/well-rounded, having a good reputation, morally pure, temperate (balanced in words and actions), prudent (wise and humble), respectable (a good role model), hospitable (unselfish and generous), able to teach, not addicted to substances, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not abusive, gentle, peaceable, nonmaterialistic, a good husband and father, lover of good, just, devout (devoted to God in holiness), and self-controlled.
Yeah… that’s a good list. If we train up our men to pursue such character, how much more naturally would humble and godly leaders emerge in our churches and at home?
So, let’s discuss… How does your church train up men?
We don’t “train up or men”.
We leave that to the parents, and we just preach the law and the gospel.
Then the Lord will do in the lives of our men, that which He will do.
I think you’d be hard pressed to read the Timothy’s and Titus and come away with the idea that training up men (and women) is simply leave it to the parents and God will do what he will do.
I’ve written on it here before–discipleship begins at home but mentoring is also integral… and mentoring is everything when the parents aren’t Christians…
‘our’ (of course)
Mike, This is so important. Thanks for asking and I look forward to hearing reply from many on this. The way we, Eastside Baptist Church in Twin Falls, Idaho, decided to tackle (no pun intended) this critical area among the men in our church is rather unnerving to some. We decided about two years ago that we had a major problem on our hands and that we needed to return to the sufficiency of Scripture to discover our hope. We decided to cease and repent of all systematic age segregating or our many ministries. We have called out the men… Read more »
I’m not sure I’d call “age-segreation” something to be repented of. If the totality of our so-called discipleship is carried out through age-segregated teaching, then yeah, Houston we have a problem. But I think it can have proper use in the mix. Though I would ultimately like to see less use of it in my church… I think pushing the fathers to step up is a really good thing, but I think we also need to push them to step out. Boys and young men need the influence of other men in the church as well–and girls and young women… Read more »
Mike, We repented of ‘systematic age-segregation’ meaning the adoption of the Greek philosophers who believed that it was easier to train the children if they removed the influence of their fathers. This secular model is foreign to Scripture. It’s not foreign to our culture but clearly foreign in Scripture. This is what we repented of, adopting the philosophies of men rather than the model of Scripture. We see value of ministry to all in the church and outreach to the unconverted of all ages. But we have decided to resist doing this like the world does. Even though this has… Read more »
Paul, We here at Valley Baptist Church in McMinnville, Oregon have also transitioned to a family integrated approach to church. We love it. I regularly emphasize the father’s role in leading their families in daily devotions and discipling their own children and we try to provide easy examples and training opportunities from time to time (and I encourage those whose kids are grown to look around to befriend kids whose dads are not in the home – this has only happened a little). We also try to involve men anyway we can (and almost all our ladies are excited to… Read more »
Thanks for your good word on this. There are few willing to seriously address this problem in the church and then to be bold enough to follow the mandate in Scripture. I bless the Lord for the good word you shared here. May the men in your church ignite an awakening and revival in our land.
Right back at you. Thanks for the encouragement. Hey, Idaho is not all that far from Oregon. Maybe we will meet up one of these days. I think that one of our families visited your church while on vacation a year or more ago.
For all the problems and issues we discuss on this site to only have six comments on this subject reveals much of the problem. My church trains men in several ways. First, we have a weekly men only gathering led by one of our elders. This is a no holds barred bible study discussion get real time. We talk about everything you can possibly imagine. It’s the most transparent men’s group I have ever seen. It’s taken a year to get there but it’s been worth it. Second, we have guys mentoring other guys on a one on one basis.… Read more »
Sometimes you can program a church to death. No program can replace preaching and discipleship in the training of Christians in general. Children need this from their parents. Adults need this from spiritually mature adults. You may have a “discipleship program”, but true discipleship never ends. When discipling people, you need to train them up in their own spiritual walk. But it’s important to train them up to train others up. This applies to men. Look at the word “nurture”. We tend to think of this as something women do. But it’s something that men are to do. It needs… Read more »
“How Does Your Church Train Up Men?”
Christian formation.