I used to be a caged-Calvinist. Seriously, I was really bad. Once I came to embrace the doctrines of grace I became very ungracious. I guess I felt duped. Maybe I wanted so badly for others to embrace what had opened my eyes. Who knows, all that really matters is to say that I was a jerk. I measured people not by how much they loved Jesus but how doctrinally pure they were (read “whether or not they were Calvinist”). And I was very quick to get myself into arguments defending Jesus and his beloved disciple; John Calvin.
Then I read this by John Newton and God used it to utterly break me:
Dear Sir,
As you are likely to be engaged in controversy, and your love of truth is joined with a natural warmth of temper, nay friendship makes me solicitous on your behalf. You are of the strongest side; for truth is great, and must prevail; so that a person of abilities inferior to yours might take the field with a confidence of victory. I am not therefore anxious for the event of the battle. But I would have you more than a conqueror, and to triumph, not only over your adversary, but over yourself. If you cannot be vanquished, you may be wounded. To preserve you from such wounds as might give you cause of weeping over your conquests, I would present you with some considerations, which, if duly attended to, will do you the service of a coat of armor; for you will easily perceive it is taken from that great armory provided for the Christian soldier, the word of God. I take it for granted, that you will not expect any apology for my freedom, and therefore I shall not offer one. For method sake, I may reduce my advice to three heads, respecting your opponent, the public, and yourself.1. As to your opponent, I wish, that, before you set pen to paper against him, and during the whole time you are preparing your answer, you may commend him by earnest prayer to the Lord’s teaching and blessing. This practice will have a direct tendency to conciliate your heart to love and pity him; and such a disposition will have a good influence upon every page you write. If you account him a believer, though greatly mistaken in the subject of debate between you, the words of David to Joab, concerning Absalom, are very applicable: “Deal gently with him for my sake.” The Lord loves him and bears with him; therefore you must not despise him, or treat him harshly. The Lord bears with you likewise, and expects that you should show tenderness to others, from a sense of the much forgiveness you need yourself.
In a little while you will meet in heaven; he will then be dearer to you than the nearest friend you have upon earth is to you now. Anticipate that period in your thoughts; and though you may find it necessary to oppose his errors, view him personally as a kindred soul, with whom you are to be happy in Christ forever. But if you look upon him as an unconverted person, in a state of enmity against God and his grace, (a supposition which, without good evidence, you should be very unwilling to admit,) he is a more proper object of your pity and compassion than of your anger. Alas! “he knows not what he does.” But you know who has made you to differ. If God, in his sovereign pleasure, had so appointed, you might have been as he is now; and he, instead of you, might have been set for the defense of the Gospel. You were both equally blind by nature. If you attend to this, you will not reproach or hate him, because the Lord has been pleased to open your eyes, and not his.
Of all people who engage in controversy, we, who are called Calvinists, are most expressly bound by our own principles to the exercise of gentleness and moderation. If, indeed, those who differ from us have a power of changing themselves, if they can open their own eyes, and soften their own hearts, then we might with less inconsistency be offended at their obstinacy; but if we believe the very contrary to this, our part is, not to strive, but in meekness to instruct those who oppose, “if perhaps God will give them repentance to the acknowledgment of the truth.”
If you write with a desire of being an instrument of correcting mistakes, you will of course be cautious of laying stumbling-blocks in the way of the blind, or of using any expressions that may exasperate their passions, confirm them in their prejudices, and thereby make their conviction, humanly speaking, more impracticable.
2. By printing, you will appeal to the public; where your readers may be ranged under three divisions. First, such as differ from you in principle. Concerning these I may refer you to what I have already said. Though you have your eye upon one person chiefly, there are many like-minded with him; and the same reasoning will hold, whether as to one or to a million.
There will be likewise many who pay too little regard to religion, to have any settled system of their own, and yet are pre-engaged in favor of those sentiments which are least repugnant to the good opinion men naturally have of themselves. These are very incompetent judges of doctrines; but they can form a tolerable judgment of a writer’s spirit. They know that that meekness, humility, and love, are the characteristics of a Christian temper; and though they affect to treat the doctrines of grace as mere notions and speculations, which, supposing they adopted them, would have no beneficial influence upon their conduct; yet from us, who profess these principles, they always expect such dispositions as correspond with the precepts of the Gospel. They are quick-sighted to discern when we deviate from such a spirit, and avail themselves of it to justify their contempt of our arguments.
The Scriptural maxim, that “the wrath of man works not the righteousness of God,” is verified by daily observation. If our zeal is embittered by expressions of anger, invective, or scorn, we may think we are doing service to the cause of truth, when in reality we shall only bring-it into discredit. The weapons of our warfare, and which alone are powerful to break down the strongholds of error, are not carnal, but spiritual; arguments fairly drawn from Scripture and experience, and enforced by such a mild address as may persuade our readers, that, whether we can convince them or not, we wish well to their souls, and contend only for the truth’s sake. If we can satisfy them that we act upon these motives, our point is half gained; they will be more disposed to consider calmly what we offer: and if they should still dissent from our opinions, they will be constrained to approve our intentions.
You will have a third class of readers, who, being of your own sentiments, will readily approve of what you advance, and may be further established and confirmed in their views of the Scripture doctrines, by a clear and masterly elucidation of your subject. You may be instrumental to their edification, if the law of kindness as well as of truth regulates your pen, otherwise you may do them harm.
There is a principle of self, which disposes us to despise those who differ from us; and we are often under its influence, when we think we are only showing a befitting zeal in the cause of God. I readily believe, that the leading points of Arminianism spring from, and are nourished by, the pride of the human heart; but I would be glad if the reverse was always true; and that to embrace what are called the Calvinistic doctrines was an infallible token of an humble mind. I have known some Arminians—that is, people who, for lack of clearer light, have been afraid of receiving the doctrines of free grace—who yet have given evidence that their hearts were in a degree humbled before the Lord. And I am afraid there are Calvinists, who, while they account it a proof of their humility that they are willing in words to debase the creature, and to give all the glory of salvation to the Lord, yet know not what manner of spirit they are of.
Whatever it is which makes us trust in ourselves that we are comparatively wise or good, so as to treat those with contempt who do not subscribe to our doctrines, or follow our party—is a proof and fruit of a self-righteous spirit. Self-righteousness can feed upon doctrines, as well as upon works; and a man may have the heart of a Pharisee, while his head is stored with orthodox notions of the unworthiness of the creature and the riches of free grace. Yes, I would add, the best of men are not wholly free from this leaven; and therefore are too apt to be pleased with such representations as hold up our adversaries to ridicule—and by consequence flatter our own superior judgments. Controversies, for the most part, are so managed as to indulge rather than to repress this wrong disposition; and therefore, generally speaking, they are productive of little good. They provoke those whom they should convince, and puff up those whom they should edify. I hope your performance will savor of a spirit of true humility, and be a means of promoting it in others.
3. This leads me, in the last place, to consider your own concern in your present undertaking. It seems a laudable service to defend the faith once delivered to the saints; we are commanded to contend earnestly for it, and to convince gainsayers. If ever such defenses were seasonable and expedient, they appear to be so in our day, when errors abound on all sides, and every truth of the Gospel is either directly denied, or grossly misrepresented. And yet we find but very few writers of controversy, who have not been manifestly hurt by it. Either they grow in a sense of their own importance, or imbibe an angry contentious spirit, or they insensibly withdraw their attention from those things which are the food and immediate support of the life of faith, and spend their time and strength upon matters which at most are but of a secondary value. This shows, that, if the service is honorable, it is dangerous. What will it profit a man if he gains his cause, and silences his adversary, if at the same time he loses that humble, tender frame of spirit in which the Lord delights, and to which the promise of his presence is made! Your aim, I doubt not, is good; but you have need to watch and pray, for you will find Satan at your right hand to resist you: he will try to debase your views; and though you set out in defense of the cause of God, if you are not continually looking to the Lord to keep you, it may become your own cause, and awaken in you those tempers which are inconsistent with true peace of mind, and will surely obstruct communion with God.
Be upon your guard against admitting anything personal into the debate. If you think you have been ill treated, you will have an opportunity of showing that you are a disciple of Jesus, who, “when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not.” This is our pattern, thus we are to speak and write for God, “not rendering railing for railing, but, contrariwise, blessing; knowing that hereunto we are called.” The wisdom which is from above is not only pure, but peaceable and gentle; and the lack of these qualifications, like the dead fly in the pot of ointment, will spoil the savor and efficacy of our labors.
If we act in a wrong spirit, we shall bring little glory to God, do little good to our fellow-creatures, and procure neither honor nor comfort to ourselves. If you can be content with showing your wit, and gaining the laugh on your side, you have an easy task; but I hope you have a far nobler aim, and that, sensible of the solemn importance of Gospel truths, and the compassion due to the souls of men, you would rather be a means of removing prejudices in a single instance, than obtain the empty applause of thousands. Go forth, therefore, in the name and strength of the Lord Almighty, speaking the truth in love; and may he give you a witness in many hearts, that you are taught of God, and favored with the unction of his Holy Spirit.
I have never been the same since reading this. I still believe in the doctrines of grace. But I think, and I’m growing in this, that I believe in them graciously. I pray that if people reject these doctrines they do so because they aren’t convinced by Scripture and not simply because some Calvinist was a jerk. I know I was a jerk. I know I can still be a jerk. But when I’m tempted to engage in controversy I’m always reminded of how the author of Amazing Grace really taught me what that means for my relationships with others.
He seems to know how to demonstrate amazing grace…
Oh my,
How completely humbling. I shall print this, and keep it with me when I am tempted to be pompous, which is way more often than I should.
Amazing Grace indeed.
In the Epistle (letter) of Mathetes to Diognetus, the following excerpt is from the chapter describing “The Manners of the Christians”: “They marry, as do all [others]; they beget children; but they do not destroy their offspring. They have a common table, but not a common bed. They are in the flesh, but they do not live after the flesh. They pass their days on earth, but they are citizens of heaven. They obey the prescribed laws, and at the same time surpass the laws by their lives. They love all men, and are persecuted by all. They are unknown… Read more »
I measured people not by how much they loved Jesus but how doctrinally pure they were Just as a quick aside, there are certainly doctrines that we have to be willing to agree to disagree on as Christians. I would say Calvinism, method of baptism, church polity, and eschatology would certainly fall into that catagory. I certainly could not say to R.C. Sproul “He believes in baptizing infants, so no matter how much he claims he loves Jesus he cannot be a Christian.” But there are definite lines that, once ou cross them, no matter how much you claim you… Read more »
Joe- The admonition here is not to relish the ”other side… losing badly” but to recognize that those who do not know Him are ALREADY lost. So should we all be lost and sent to Hell because we are all original sinners. Everyone from birth is already on the express train to Hell, or Highway to Hell for AC/DC fans ? I do understand the sentiment and have felt that way before. We should not be angry with those who don’t know Him and get doctrine wrong, they don’t know any better and are incapable of discerning spiritual truth without… Read more »
“You’re right, you’re right, I know you’re right.”
Marie
–When Harry Met Sally 1989
LOL. I’m with you there and have been before. But I almost lost my marriage when trying to convert her from being catholic. I got in God’s way of discipling her to grow outside of the boundaries of denomenation. She was a believer before we met, but limited her understanding to what was RC only. I tried to show her that God is bigger than the pope and tradition and is properly found in scripture. But everytime I tried playing the role of Holy Spirit, she became even more entrenched in the Roman church. We once went to the book… Read more »
Joe – I appreciate your zeal, but I think that God can defend His own doctrine and Gospel. I think that modern apologetics is way off target in it’s application. We don’t need to be angry at those who get it wrong (either by will or error) because they cannot hurt the cause of Christ and cannot thwart God’s good and perfect plans. Who can interrupt what God is going to do? Who can say “no” to the Father and be effective? I believe we need to “be ready to give an answer for the hope that lies within” in… Read more »
Greg, The type of fatalistic thinking that your post embodies is quite dangerous. You seem to ignore that God has ordained human means for effecting his own purposes, and the importance of our efforts as God’s instruments. Can God be thwarted? Of course not; but the actions of humans are an integral aspect of God’s plan for creation (Acts 4:26-28). Does God need our help to advance his kingdom? Of course not; but he has ordained that it will be advanced, in part, through human efforts (Mt. 28:19-20). You say that God can defend his Gospel. Yes, he certainly can,… Read more »
Mike,
Thank you for this letter. It has also changed my perspective and I too need to print it and keep it close. This is challenging advice and I will take it to heart.
I do appreciate Mike’s remarks so much. There were times in my early commitments to Sovereign Grace, when I am sure I was as bad a respresentative of grace as one could be. It took me years to learn that the gentle and charitable approach is the only one that truly magnifies the Lord Jesus Christ. It helps to know that even Paul could lose his temper and pitch a fit (Acts 15:39 the sharp contention is the word for paroxysm or becoming enraged..rendered not easily provoked in I Cors.13:5) and that the very person he became enraged over was… Read more »
There is a difference between holding to the doctrines of grace and being gracious…
…but there shouldn’t be.
I do wish to take exception to the idea that one today can be executed by the state due to blasphemy. While the state might act to restrain such language; it is in the area of religious liberty, and, therefore, it cannot be a legitimate cause in the United States for execution. God can handle those situations which get out of hand, when and how He so cooses. As a descendent, physically and spiritually, of those who established religious liberty in this nation, I say the laws of Israel in regard to such do not apply in the United States.… Read more »
Dr. Willingham, I think the issue, in some respects, is simpler than you make it out to be. God commanded the death penalty for blasphemy, therefore the penalty is good, just, righteous, and appropriate. Nor has God abrogated civil punishments for violations of the first table of the law. Does this mean that we are obligated to apply the death penalty today? No, for situational aspects remain; but it is a just punishment that remains available to the civil magistrate, who, by the nature of his being and office, is obligated to submit to God, enforce God’s law, and protect… Read more »