There has been a lot of talk about sex lately thanks to Mark Driscoll. I actually like Driscoll, I think he says some good things, but there things he says that stir up controversy. I just ignore those things myself. Back to the point, there has been lots of talk about this book he wrote on sex. I think it’s a great thing, I have several books on intimacy that I have acquired at conferences and things. Driscoll didn’t say anything out of the ordinary, many books state very similar things. We just got all up in arms because it’s Mark, and he’s said bad words and said he has visions (which he may or may not, not my job to judge that). You can get mad all you want, but there is one simple solution to everything, and we can talk about sex all day, but it won’t do any good until we focus on the main issue. Love your wife.
In my Bible reading, I see one truth about marriage that comes up again and again. I gotta love my wife. Not just sorta like her, or enjoy time with her or like having sex with her, I gotta love her. I have to love her like Christ loves His Church. That’s a big deal. I Peter 3:7 says I have to show honor to my wife so my prayers are not hindered. God is serious, if I don’t love, honor and cherish my wife, my prayers and hindered. Big deal. My wife is to be my only source of sexual gratification, no pictures, books, tv shows, or anything else.
So here is a major issue that I see. We are not bringing up young men to love their wives. Yes, I realize they don’t have wives, but someday they most likely will. They need to begin praying for them, preparing for them, saving their heart and body for their wives. They need to see men who love their wives. They need to see that their father loves their mother. In our society, they don’t see that.
Sometimes we as Pastors love the church more than we love our wives. The Bible says love your wife as Christ loves the Church, not to love our wife and the church. The church is the bride of Christ, she has a husband. We are the only husband our wives have. We have to love, cherish, honor our wives. We need to study them, know them and give all of ourselves to them.
Once we do that, the sex will work itself out. I don’t want to get into a dialouge about what is and is not acceptable practice in the bedroom. I’m not gonna tell you what I think is acceptable, cause it’s none of your business what I do in my bedroom, and I’m not sleeping on my roof. If we love our wives so much that our desire is to honor them, sexual gratification for husband and wife will happen. God is not interested what is happening in the bed as much as He is interested in what is happening in the heart.