Let’s face it, the sexuality and sexual sin in this country is out of control. The sexual sin in the church is rampant. The sexual issues faced by pastors, leaders, missionaries and men in general is a problem. Lots and lots and lots of men are addicted to pornography, including pastors. Lots of men struggle with temptation and many are losing the fight. We are bombarded, it’s on tv, billboards, magazines, ads and signs. You can’t even walk down the street anymore without seeing more than you need to see. Don’t even try to go to the mall these days. I was a substitute teacher for 6 years and was constantly shocked by what passes for acceptable clothing (or lack there of) in our schools. It’s out of control men.
Add insult to injury, porn is easy to find. Most of us have found it by accident a time or two. Try to type in a web-address and miss a letter, and BAM, porn. There are viruses that put porn on your computer, emails with porn, and as any filters, blocks, firewalls and security systems we install, they keep finding ways to beat them. I gave up and switched to Linux, cause no one write viruses for Linux. It’s a madhouse, we all struggle.
This isn’t a new struggle, lust has been around as long as sin, and it’s a problem. There are some great solutions that we have available to us, if we can overcome the first and probably the most dangerous sin of all, the sin that cast Lucifer out of heaven, our own pride. We have to admit that we struggle, that we need help.
First step is to get a group of guys who you can be honest with, gut level, real life honest. Guys who won’t sell you out, cut you down, leave you behind or condemn you. The point is accountability and encouragement. So much temptation loses power when we admit and confess it. We need help from our brothers.
Step two, if you are married then you need to focus all your attention on your wife. God gives us wives to help, support us, have a family, build a life and to enjoy all He intended sex to be. Proverbs 5:18 and 19 specifically tell us to take pleasure in our wives and be satisfied with them, we must focus all our energy and desires specifically towards our wives. She is our refuge our safe place in a world that seeks to sexually destroy us. Men, we must also be the same for her, providing for her emotional and physical needs for connection and intimacy. The world is full of counterfeits, it is hostile towards your marriage, and we must be aware of those things which seek to destroy.
Next is begin to pray for those you find tempting. When you see a beautiful woman who is lacking in proper attire and you are drawn to lust, pray for her. Pray that if she knows God, she will love Him more, if she has a husband, he will meet all her needs and if she lacks those things, she find’s God’s love and a Godly man to love her. Pray that she realizes that her attire is a detriment to some men and that she would be more cautious with her wardrobe. I find it difficult to lust after a woman you are praying for, and it helps your prayer life. There are more than ample opportunities to pray. Pray for models in pictures, actresses on TV, pray for every woman who may tempt you. If you do have a strong temptation towards pornography, praying for the actresses may be hard, but it will sure take much of the enjoyment out of the viewing and help reduce the desire.
That brings me to my next point. Pray against pornography. It’s a huge, billion dollar industry. It makes more money than every professional sports league combined. It takes up a huge part of the internet, as well as print material, movies and films and software. It’s a growing problem and becoming more acceptable. The images depicted on TV would have been considered pornographic 20 years ago, and it’s getting worse. We have to be open about the fact it’s out there, many struggle with it and is killing many spiritually. It’s not going to just go away, we need to pray for each other, pray for our men and our husbands, fathers, pastors, friends and neighbors. We know the damaging effects of pornography in marriages, lives, ministry and the impact it has on the brain. It ruins people but it’s not going away. Pray for one another, support and encourage one another.
Finally is the most obvious. Stay away from it. Filters and blocks, v-chips and parental controls. If you have cable channels like HBO or Cinemax, get rid of them. If you like movies, watch them on network TV, or find a place that sells edited movies that remove the sexual content. Change habits, sometimes we have to stop going places. If your favorite coffee shop also has you favorite sin, find a different coffee shop. Have someone keep you accountable, but take the initiative. Stay away from the stuff that seeks to capture and destroy you.
It’s a war out there men, and the enemy is letting us destroy ourselves. Pray for each other, pray for men and be encouraging. Support and help other men, after all you are not immune to the temptation of lust. If you don’t have a problem with porn, I guarantee someone you know does. It’s time for us to build a community of help and support and take action. The porn industry, the peddling of lust and lies will destroy the church if the men of God won’t take action. No more hiding, no more pride and shame. What we need is repentance and restoration.