I actually have nothing to say. I’m on the way to Omaha to pick up the world’s cutest and most wonderful grandson ever (and I will not tolerate debate on this issue).
But here’s the challenge. Top that title!
There is a large cash prize (I’ll take a dollar bill and blow it up to an 11×17 sheet of paper and mail it to you) for the best potentially controversial blog title.
My money is on Doug Hibbard.
A title you would never expect:
“Peter Lumpkins on something reasonable from a fair, balanced, and respectful perspective.”
wow.
🙂
I’m sorry, Matt, but that is wrong.
It should have been stated as, “Something reasonable from a fair, balanced, and respectful perspective by Peter Lumpkins.”
🙂
Joel Osteen on “Righteousness, Temperance and the Judgment to come”
“Rick Warren opens National Day of Prayer with Imprecatory Prayers”
“John Piper repents for using so many adjectives”
“Ghost Of Adrian Rodgers Contacts Illegal Immigrant And Reveals, Through Tongues, The Truth Of Calvinism And Amillennialism, The Superiority Of The Dallas Cowboys, And The True Location Of Waldo!!!1!”
So far, this is my favorite.
This has to be the winner.
Oh yes, Dave excuse me but I have 5 grandsons and 4 granddaughters and THEY are the cutest,smartest,kindest and most wonderful kids in the world! If you cannot tolerate that,well,meet me at the OK corral. 🙂
“Al Mohler And Danny Akin Admit They Have No Idea How To Fix The Southern Baptist Convention”
Rick, my goodness.
5 point Calvinists in the SBC admit that Non 5 pointers do believe the Bible and Preach the Gospel, and the younger, hipper types admit that trying to get the SBC to go green is an attempt to fit in with the Society…has nothing to do with the Bible.
Since someone opened the snarky can (LOL)
“Older pastors in the SBC admit: “younger pastors aren’t all idiots; and ‘older’ doesn’t mean mature or right.”
“SBC Neo-prohibitionist admits that his reasoning isn’t scriptural, he ‘just doesn’t like the taste of alcohol'”
Jason,
I used to drink alcohol….I partied hard….after I got saved, I was filled with the Holy Spirit…had the joy and love of Jesus filling my heart….didnt need alcohol and weed, anymore.
David
I used to drink alcohol and more and partied very hard many a night. The Lord saved me and even gave me freedom from my semi-Mormon upbringing believing that drinking alcohol would send me to hell. I now drink God’s gift of alcohol with a free conscience in Christ (atleast I did before enrolling in seminary) and teach my daughter the same.
I hope you dont lead your daughter to a life of alcoholism…my uncle started off by just social drinking… as do most alcoholics…then, it got a hold of him, and he became a terrible drunk.
Later, he got saved…and God delivered him from alcoholism…but, he lost much in the meantime.
Also, did you you, Mark, that a baby can get FAS just from one drink by it’s Momma…before she even knows that she’s pregnant.
It’s foolish to drink the fermented stuff. Your playing with poisonous snakes. I hope, one day, that you dont get bit…and bit hard.
David
David,
It is much more foolish to continue to try to strip people of the freedom they have in Christ.
John Piper welcomes Benny Hinn to ‘Desiring God’ 2012.
Stadium collapses under weight of Christian conference’s book tables.
Unresolved division splits church-planting network into Acts 29 and 30.
Supreme Court Rules in Favor of Emergent Church: OK to Demand Royalties on Trademarked Words “Missional”, “Incarnational”, “Authentic” and “Engaging the Culture”
Recently fired Robert Schuller teams with Mark Dever to launch “9 Marks to a Happier You”
“John Piper welcomes Benny Hinn to ‘Desiring God’ 2012.”
Good one!
‘John Piper welcomes Benny Hinn to ‘Desiring God’ 2012.’
ok, I laughed out loud.
At 2012 Convention in New Orleans, Southern Baptists Pass Resolution, “On the Sinfulness of Obesity and Gluttony”.
Stuart,
A question….how many pieces of chicken does one have to eat to commit gluttony? I really dont want to sin against God, so can you show me the chapter and verse? Also, how many burgers are too many?
And, can you also point me to the wieght chart in the Bible? I mean, how much does one have to weigh, in order to be a glutton? Say, for a 6’2″ man? is it 190 lbs? 200? 150?
Or, Maybe its your size and weight that’s the BIBLICAL weight for a man? and what you eat for supper is the right foods?
Can you tell me these things, and show me the Scriptures?
Thanks
“David Worley (Volfan) explains why the amount of food we eat has nothing to do with sin but the amount of alcohol we drink does.”
How’s that for a controversial title?
Great Questions.
I think that we need to treat the subject like we would other subjects where the Bible speaks in principle but doesn’t give clearly defined parameters. So, clearly, the answers are going to depend on how much the person exercises in a given week.
No, it is about figs, dates and lamb. You are simply not eating the biblical foods.
Andrew,
Most people wouldnt even sneeze at that one. You see, I’m just a little fish in the big ocean that we call the SBC.
Anyway, I can show you…from the Bible….about drunkeness being sin…and about it being a foolish thing to drink fermented wine.
But, you cant show me..in the Bible…about amounts of food that it takes, or about the weight amount, etc. In fact, I can show you where Jesus fed people until they were FULL…Jesus fed them that much. I can show you where we were told to not call anything unclean that God had made for us to eat…so, we can eat ribs and catfish and not be sinning. I can show you some verses that say it’s a good thing to be fat!
I believe in sola scriptura, Andrew.
🙂
Volfan I do know the Bible tells us not to be drunk with wine but with the Spirit as you had previously stated. And I am aware that through out scripture there are warnings against being led astray by strong drinks,yet there is also positive verses linked to wine as well. Such as John 2 when Jesus turned the water into wine and Paul told Timothy to have a little wine for his stomach. This is where I get confused and think that maybe it is moderation or balance that God wants from us.
wine…the Bible word for wine…can simply mean grapejuice…it does not have to be fermented….plus, they would mix 3 to 10 parts water to the grapejuice, so even if it did ferment….
LOL
You forgot to mention “must”.
About as convincing as bread meaning “oyster cracker”…
Andrew,
In your mind.
You see, we can have this conversation all day long, and it will go nowhere…I am convinced that the passages in Proverbs are talking about fermented wine, and how foolish it is to drink “wine” when it’s fermented…when it is “strong drink.” That is absolutely foolish to drink fermented wine….when you drink it just for pleasure. And, of course, we know that the Bible teaches in Ephesians that it’s a sin to be drunk on wine. How much do you have to drink before it controls your feelings and thoughts? instead of being filled with the Holy Spirit?
Well, your mind is already made up. Sooooo…..
Not to keep the debate going,(I do not drink alcohol),but if the Bible word for wine means grape juice then how did the men at the wedding become intoxicated? Because of my past baggage should a brother in Christ lose his freedom in Christ? Would you be offended if a brother or sister had a beer or glass of wine? Is that worse than say-spreading gossip?
Just asking…Inquiring minds want to know what ya think.
The party line is to accept that despite the clear statement to the fact, any and all alcohol consumption is a sin.
However, even if you haven’t seen your feet since high school, since there’s no biblically set standard for gluttony, then morbid obesity is not a sin.
Stuart,
So, a 6 foot man could have a big stomach and not be a glutton? Well, according to a lot of young, slim, hip SB’s that just aint so.
And, I can munch on fried chicken and fried, green tomatoes, and drink sweet tea, and I’d be okay with God? Is that what you’re saying? Cuz, there’s a lot of tofu eating, carrot munching SB’s out there, who tell me that eating fried foods is just an incredible sin…..lol
I don’t want to live in a world where it is a sin to eat fried chicken and drink sweet tea.
God created those things for our enjoyment and His glory (in moderation, of course).
If it doesn’t violate your conscience, destroy your temple of the Holy Spirit, or cause a weaker brother to stumble…
Please keep in mind that today’s fatty foods contain hydrogenated oils and dangerous trans fats that didn’t exist in Bible times. And also, just remember that you never know who has clogged arteries or is on the verge of a stroke, or who may have a binging disorder. Watching Bro. David eat it could be the thing that puts them over the edge. So you’d be a better Christian, I think, if you would just avoid those foods altogether.
Not me, Stuart….I eat the fire out of fried foods and love it. I thank God for them.
My Great Grandmother lived to be 96, Brother. 96! The first time she ever went to a hospital was when she was 94.
She was chubby her whole life….ate fried foods…cooked all of her veggies with meat grease…and, she even smoked for 50 years before quitting….
I guess if I want to live a long, long life on this EArth…a healthy life…I should eat like she did…and I do.
Also, my Grandmother lived to be 85….was healthy as a good mule until she was 82! I’d take 82 years of a completely healthy life….wouldnt you?
PS. I can tell you about a lot of slim, healthy eating joggers, who died of heart attacks…..when they were in their 40’s, 50’s, and such….
In fact, some of the people, who’ve died around these parts here lately, have been young, slim people….
just sayin’
Just because you have good genes doesn’t mean every Christian does. Your example could be leading them to premature deaths.
Or worse…causing them to sin against Gid.
Stuart, I see what you did there.
Stuart,
I dont believe the world’s opinion..of the moment…about fried foods and sweets and such….
Kind of like the red dye scare of years ago….lol
Now, show me in the Bible where I’m not to eat fried foods and sweets…and I’ll try to never eat them again.
David,
I’ll show you where the Bible says not to eat fried food right after you show me where the Bible says “You shall not drink alcohol.”
Those two commands have one thing in common- both not in the Bible, even though people twist scripture to say that they are in the Bible.
Gluttony and drunkenness are brother sins- sins of excess. Eating TOO MUCH or drinking TOO MUCH violates the biblical principle of self control. That’s where the abstentionists and the health food nuts both miss the boat. It’s not the act of eating or drinking, it’s the act of abusing the food or drink.
Volfan, I do think it’s funny that you are using the same arguments to defend SBs against charges of gluttony (and correctly I might add) that moderationists use to defend their position. Maybe you ought to reconsider the alcohol issue with the same eyes you use to look at the gluttony issue.
Just a thought…
Ryan,
How dare you tempt volfan to be consistent!!! He would then stop being volfan!
Vol:
Why are you so defensive about being overweight ?
You’ve got one and only one view about alcohol but seemingly no view on gluttony.
Top SBC Leaders Admit Using Medium To Channel Benny Hill
I thought of a new one on the drive:
Peter Lumpkins on Al Mohler on Mark Driscoll on Wade Burleson on Page Patterson on Rick Warren on John Piper on Benny Hinn on Peter Lumpkins.
SBC Voices Thread Does NOT Descend Into “I’m More Spiritual Than You” Discussion
I wish I could get offended and argue with your comment.
It’s not your fault. It’s as old as man’s attempt to establish his own righteousness.
And everyone, relax, enjoy, smile.
Peter Lumpkins decides to “just let it go”
The split between Acts 29 and 30 made me laugh 🙂
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry
“Conference Hosted By Acts 29 Ministry At Mars Hill Church On Christian Love And Unity To Be Co-Hosted By Mark Driscoll, Peter Lumpkins, Ergun Caner, And James White.”
lol- Chris, you are the best at this.
James White and Ergun Caner seen at McDonald’s eating 3 Big Macs per person
White is skinny now. Looks totally different.
James White and Ergun Caner are the new spokesmen for Rogaine….Going on tour together to promote it.
Nice one.
“SBC Voices in SBC Today Result in No SBC Tomorrow”
Funny.
“John MacArthur Admits: I plagerized Mark Driscoll when preaching through the Song of Solomon”
Uh…yeah.
I thought it was funny…
🙁
So did I.
“John Piper and Joel Osteen present: The 2012 Desiring God for Your Best Life Now Conference.”
That is brilliant.
Having Unity Might Just Be More Important than Being Right: Contemplating John 17:21 with the Orthodox, the UnOrthodox, the Catholic, and the Baptist.
or….
Don’t Whine about that sermon, my wife told me to preach it!: Unified homes, divided churches, and the SBC: 1 Peter 3, 1 Timothy 2.
or….
New Historical Documents show Conservative Resurgence just a ploy to reduce crowding at Denny’s in SBC host cities.
or….
I was bitten by a rat! True Confessions that led to the Disney Boycott.
or….
Republican Party Admits “Just Hanging with the ERLC for the Fried Chicken, we’re going to vote for our corporate donors!”
or….
Southern Seminary Admits Geographical Nonsense in name, will now be called “Middle” Baptist Theological Seminary
or….
Everything I need to know, I learned from the (redacted): how to appease without compromise
or….
GCR Documents Wikileaks reveal that most debate time spent arguing over Original or Extra Crispy.
I thought you’d come up with some good ones.
I try….
“IMB Vows to Identify Top Security Leaks and, If Necessary, Remove Them From the Board of Trustees.”
“Lifeway Admits to Pushing Books from Oprah’s Book Club in Order to Remain Profitable”
“Private Prayer Language Turns Out to Be Original Language of Adam and Eve; IMB Declines to Change Policy”
“Ozarka Named Official Baptismal Water-Provider of the IMB”
“IMB Files Suit Requesting Ergun Caner Remove ‘Former Candidate for IMB Presidency’ from List of Credentials”
“Local Blogger Fired by IMB for General Snarkiness”
Your last one could become all too real, eh?
Free from the Law: Why My Daughter Wears Mini-Skirts When She Dates the Boys from the Public School She Attends.
New Study Shows Church Planting Probably “Just a waste of time and resources”
Jerry Vines explains to Young SB Pastors why “Hot” is not an appropriate adjective to describe their wives.
Maybe not his wife…
Jeremy,
Really? You’re gonna run down a man’s wife? And, she’s a Sr. Adult at that….
David
I have no idea who Jerry Vines is. Perhaps he just doesn’t like the adjective being applied to HIS wife, personally. Doesn’t mean she is unattractive – just that for her, the word “hot” doesn’t apply.
If I implied anything negative about her, please accept my apologies. It was not my intent.
Thanks, Jeremy….God bless you.
Wanted: Wife for young Southern Baptist pastor. Must throw a party like Martha Stewart, teach the Bible like Beth Moore, sing like Carrie Underwood, make money like Oprah, look like Angelina Jolie, and morph into Madonna when the lights go out. Contact Bubba at SBTS.
Well done.
Young married SB couple admit to smoking pot and drinking alcohol every night but say it was Kentucky Fried Chicken that really destroyed their marriage.
Doug has been bitten by the Big Title Blog bug.
Landmark Baptist Church sign:
“Srsly Doodz, the King James Version is the Word of God in the English language in a sense that cannot be said of the LOL Cat Bible”
(I’ve got more. Should I stop while I’m ahead?)
No, bring it on. Someone may actually be inspired to write a post from your titles!
I have no idea what this means.
http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page
Pirouette Power! Stealth masculinity in an age of contextualization by Mark Driscoll.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
By Wiley Drake
Foreward by Peter Lumpkins
This whole blog is going to the dogs quicker than I can type, “The quick red fox jumped over the lazy brown dog.” Which reminds me my first funeral was a dog’s funeral. I was about 6 or 7, and my sister a couple of years younger sang Amazing Grace for that justly famous family dog. I mean after all, he had saved our Grandma’s life. My preaching and my sister’s singing, the result was I wound up a preacher, and she is married to one. Uh, and we both have sons who are preachers. Just shows a little goes a long way. If this thing goes any further, we shall all wind up with aching sides and mawkish sentimentalism.
Bill and Connie,
I guess yall just dont believe the Bible’s teachings in Proverbs about the foolishness of drinking fermented wine.
Bill, it’s not the party line, unless by party, you’re talking about God and His Angels and the Apostles party. Brother, it’s not a tradition…it’s a firm conviction from Scripture about drinking fermented drink, and getting drunk on it.
BTW, Bill, that old, idiotic statement about the size of one’s stomach is getting old and worn out….and besides, it’s painfully ignorant….
David
Hey David, since you don’t want to even consider a discussion into what is gluttony, then why should I even consider entering into a discussion about alcohol.
There is not a single command about any consumption of alcohol being a sin, but the excess consumption of alcohol is a sin.
Just like there’s not a single command about don’t eat the fried stuff in the bible, but the excess of consumption is a sin.
But hey, whatever helps you look at yourself in the mirror…
Bill,
I’ll talk about gluttony any time. Gluttony is eating past the point of being full….when you’re full, you should quit.
But, Bill, many people…especially in the South, where we eat very fatty foods…can have big stomachs and not be gluttons. To say otherwise is stupidity. I had an uncle, who ate a lot more than I did, and he was skinny as a rail. He took after my Great Grandfathers side of the family. Unfortunately, I took after another side of the family….thus, I’m chubby. Albeit, I am a good lookin’ man, even though I’m chubby. 🙂
But, have I ever committed the sin of gluttony. Of course. I try not to sin that way..but, I fail.
Now, I could show you the passages in Proverbs that talk about the foolishness of drinking strong drink…..drinking wine that has fermented..but, you wont accept what I’m gonna say….so, what’s the point?
David