I’m sitting here in my study contemplating life in the ministry. First of all, I should qualify that statement: by “in the ministry,” I mean the vocational work of being employed by a church for what we call “ministry.” I know that we are all supposed to be ministers, or servants, of one another and of Christ our Lord. That’s a thought I’ll come back to later, perhaps, but let’s accept our normal vocabulary here in Baptist life. It may not be ideal, but it’s what we’ve got.
Next year will mark my twenty-fifth year in ministry service to Southern Baptist churches. In those years, I’ve mainly served churches under 200, and in fact, under 100 in attendance. I’ve been to a state Baptist college, a non-denominational seminary, and two very-Baptist, but not officially Southern Baptist, seminaries. (And at that, two that are very, very different. Probably a subject for another post.) I have done youth work, pastoral work, associate pastor work, and even a stint serving as de jure associational missionary.
Alongside that, though, I’ve also worked in a funeral home, as a pizza delivery guy, as a fast-food restaurant manager, and in logistics management. I’ve waffled back and forth between working within the church and finding my employment outside and serving in the church as a volunteer. I still struggle with that impulse, and who knows where I will land? As it sits, I’ve got a Master’s degree that qualifies me to…be a pastor. And a BA in Biblical studies and speech. Kind of typecast myself through education, though maybe the history Ph.D. will broaden my horizons.
When I struggle with whether or not I should stay a Baptist pastor, I typically reach out to some of my wiser friends for guidance and counsel. (Barring that, I ask my blogging buddies.) One of the common refrains that I’ve heard in both personal counsel and from seminary leaders is that pastors who struggle with their work should “go back to your calling and rest in that.” I’ve tried that. In the darkness of the night, in the face of angry opposition to simple, Biblical principles, in response to hatred poured out on my children for being “different,” in the face of a deep depression that covered two years and one serious lean toward suicide, let me say this plainly:
My call wasn’t enough. In fact, it was a shove closer to the precipice of despair and giving up. Which is not the same as surrender to grace of God.
So, despite my respect for those forebears and wisdom-bearers who encourage ministers to “go back to their call” when times get tough, I want to argue with that idea. Going back to my call simply put me more aware of my failure and inadequacy. After all, “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called” (Another cliche that should probably disappear rapidly. Do you want your cardiologist to claim that she’s called and God will qualify her? Um, no. She needs to get qualified before she cuts.), right? So, my failure means that not only am I not keeping my hand to the plow and not looking back, I am rejecting how God has qualified me. It’s not simply that I am inadequate to the task, but all the things I need have been given to me and I still failed.
And yes, many of us think we have failed despite the tweets and books from pastors of large-numbered churches and seminary professors assuring us that small numbers don’t mean failure. Sell me that when you resign your 6-digits and assistants and tenure and sabbaticals and have to preach your heart out, then listen to complaints about your kids, then counsel someone trying to escape an abusive marriage, then have to answer to your personnel committee about why you didn’t make sure the youth minister filed his time sheet…and why attendance was down on a holiday weekend. All in the same 10-hour span you’re preaching sermons that you wrote yourself without any research helpers or student interns to look stuff up for you. We feel like failures despite your bestsellers and conferences that we can’t afford assuring us we’re not.
If “my calling” is not going to sustain me in ministry, then what will? That’s a question I have been wrestling strongly with for the last year. And here is my answer:
Maybe it’s not about my call. Or, for you, fellow pastor/minister/elder/whatever-the-cool-churches-are-calling-it-now, maybe your calling was never meant to sustain you in ministry, much less drive you in ministry. Why?
Here’s what I think: I’ve read the New Testament several times, in several translations, as well as in Greek. And while I see the narrative presence of people called to serve Christ directly, every one of them also ends up being someone we call an “apostle.” Every one. There are a dozen guys in the Gospels, then there’s one fellow in Acts. Anyone else we see in particular service, we do not see how they began to work. Unless you count Timothy, who Paul seems to have brought with him in Acts 16, but there is no “bright light” moment for him. Instead, we have in 1 Timothy the idea that one should “desire” the responsibility of being an elder and in James 3 the warning that not many should be teachers because of judgment. Reads like there is some measure of personal choice here, not just a “calling” that we have to do…or else. Now, of course, the Old Testament prophets had such a calling, but New Testament pastors and Old Testament prophets are not the same thing. For that matter, New Testament apostles and New Testament pastors are not the same thing. (Check Ephesians 4:11-13 and see if that’s what it says.)
When you think about it, some of our problems in the modern church actually stem from believing we are called just like prophets and apostles. Prophets and apostles were the bearers of God’s inerrant words (look at who wrote much of both Testaments) and spoke with an authority that pastors and teachers do not share. We help people understand God’s Word, serving the church by doing so rather than commanding the church as Peter, Paul, or James did. (Or commanding the nation, like Isaiah, Jeremiah, Elijah….) As we have allowed men and women to stand up and claim an inherent right to preach because of their “call,” we have not rightly handled examining their character or seeking the rest of Ephesians 4:11-13 and seeing if they build up the church or tear it down. We just back off and allow their “call” to override.
And when a pastor stumbles, the stress is about his “calling” and whether he is wasting it through his personal troubles or is being taken away from it by sinful people. We seem more concerned with protecting the calling than actually caring about the people involved in a situation.
I would suggest to you that the core of someone’s ministry is not based in their calling. The foundation of serving Christ’s church is salvation by grace.
Why?
First of all, salvation is the common ground for all of us. It’s a common need for all humanity, and it’s a common experience for all who are in the Church. All who are in the Church are saved by the grace of God because of the blood of Jesus. We start our ministry at this point: that we who are ministers were just as much in need of God’s grace as those we minister among. And when we are in need ourselves, we go back to this point: we contributed the need to our salvation, not the solution. God did not save me, or you, or any great preacher in history, because God needed a preacher. He saved us because He is a grace-giving, loving, merciful Father.
Second, salvation is the basis of my relationship with Jesus. That relationship is not based on what I can do for Him, but on His grace and the response of my worship and obedience to what He commands. Which means that if “ministry” this year is full-time preaching and next year full-time burger-flipping, it is all appropriate if it is done in obedience to walking with Jesus. If God in His wisdom sees fit for life to put me in an office or a warehouse, have I failed at my calling? Perhaps, but I have not failed at my relationship with Him. So is that “calling” such a big deal?
Third, salvation reminds me that God saved the person that I am, the personality that I have. While the fruit of the Spirit should be evidenced in my growth, I have certain quirks, strengths, and weaknesses that were not removed when I became a “new creation in Christ.” That means they can be used by God in some way as I serve Him. Rather than being called to become someone or something else, I am saved to serve Him as He has made me.
This may not be persuasive, but I think we’re starting at the wrong point when we emphasize the call to ministry as if it makes us something more or other than followers of Christ. I think we need to remember, and encourage others to remember, to go back not to a moment or a process of following in a vocation but instead to that moment where we recognized that we were sinners in need of the Saviour, that the grace of God intervened in our hell-bound life and bought us with His blood.
Because that’s an undeniable reality, one that we cannot invalidate, one that we cannot have a bad day that removes us from.
Doug,
This article is truthful, timely, and a real blessing. Thank you! Good stuff!
(Guess I’m not “called” – I couldn’t think of a third word for my three point alliterated comment. 😉 )
EDIT:, i thought of a couple. Lol. I should have used terrific. Or tremendous. (Now, where have I heard those words so often recently????).
thanks so much for writing this! Appreciate your transparency and heart.
I appreciate the transparency. (Don’t appreciate pineapple on pizza, an utter travesty).
No one wrote the book on “calling” and the cliches don’t help.
God bless you in whatever you do.
I bet you don’t consider it authentically Hawaiian, do you?
🙂
Something I learned way back in youth ministry days: many people hate pineapple on pizza. Therefore, learn to like and always order at least one when buying for the youth group and you will always have enough pizza for you.
I’ve actually thought quite a bit about “the call”. I’m in no position to judge someone’s experience, but frankly I don’t really know what “the call” is. I assume it is some kind of emotional experience that leads one to believe he or she is being given a specific assignment. Perhaps someone can let me know.
I recall several years ago considering a short term mission trip to Mexico, but the DOM warned us not to go unless we felt called. Well, I went because I wanted to go and because Matthew 25 seems like “call” enough.
As I said, I’m not going to decry whatever leads people into ministry, but I’ve always been skeptical of churchy language and like the author suggests, things like “the call” or “I feel led” or “God has laid something on my heart” are often used as placing God’s stamp of approval on whatever that person wants to do. Just once rather than “I feel led” or “God has laid something on my heart”, I’d like to hear someone say “this is what I’ve decided” and “I’ve had an idea”.
Yeah. The biblical (NT) language for a “call” to pastoral ministry is … “if any man desire” AND he is is qualified to hold the office….I find no place where language of a specific “call” is given.
Now, that said, I do believe the “desire” comes from the work of the Holy Spirit in specific individuals (gifting) – so….
Could it be a “both/and”?
Amen to that thought.
Bill, you make a good point about “churchy” language. I’ve often said that the three most dangerous words in the English language are “God told me.”Once uttered, they tend to be a drop the mic moment that ends all discussion or debate. I’ve been a pastor for 25 years now, always in small, rural churches in the mountains of western North Carolina. I would describe my call to preach as a very real, persistent burden to do so. Yes, it was a desire, but it was actually more a compelling burden. Admittedly, it’s a bit hard to put into exact words.
Mr. Bill Mac, I laughed when I read this, “I assume it is some kind of emotional experience that leads one to believe he or she is being given a specific assignment. Perhaps someone can let me know.” So I am letting you know that, yes, this is exactly how I experienced my specific call. 🙂
The thing was, there was no way I could make it happen, I had to wait on the Lord. So, as the pastor would describe the ministry I felt called to, he would say, “If this is you, stand up, I want to pray for you.” Well, after a few years of this, and nothing….I didn’t stand up one time. Oh! such a battle! But the next day at this conference he said that he felt the need to pray for that calling again. And up I stood.
I am now in my third year of this assignment and feel so grateful every day that God made it happen in His time.
I’m curious as to what type of ministry it is that you’re doing, Cathy?
Prayer ministry – specific hours devoted to prayer, encouraging prayer in my church. I had to wait on the Lord to be able to devote so many hours to it.
Cool. How exciting!
Thanks so much for this. Very thoughtful and helpful to me personally.
Doug, lots to commend here.
I agree about your idea of there being some aspect of “choice”, and tend to think that if a man (I’m using man because we are talking about pastor/elder ship) makes his ministry and career choices based on desired obedience to God, not willful rebellion, then he need not worry about missing his calling…he may choose the path that he believes will most honor God and serve his family.
As for myself, I began to prepare for vocational Music ministry at age 20 in college. I did some shorter and intern positions in that area, interspersed with more music training at Seminary, and at age 27, began at a church as a Music Pastor. Had I reached my “calling” (vocational church music ministry) by following my musical desires? Maybe…
Soon after arriving, I was given a dual role as Music AND Youth Pastor. Up to that point, I had no desire to do youth ministry, and no formal preparation for it. I did not feel “called” to it, but was willing to do it for a season to serve the church. After 10 years of doing it, it was a part of my life that I truly loved, along with occasional Sunday preaching and teaching Senior Saints bible studies. Had I found another part of my “calling” by denying my personal desires for a job description, and simply being willing to fill a need that was outside my “area of expertise”? Maybe…
After 10 years ministering vocationally in that church, that I absolutely loved, through some difficult decisions and circumstances, I and my family left, and I now find myself working in the construction insdustry, something I would not have chosen as a first option, and something I do not have a strong desire to do indefinitely.
From age 20 till age 36, 16 years I had leaned my life toward, or into a “calling” into Vocational music and Pastoral ministry. Do I believe I was “called” by God into vocational ministry? For that season….Yes. But for this season, I believe I am called to a secular vocation, for the sake of providing for my family, and for perhaps a different kind of influence in the workplace. I also now simply play instruments on a worship team that I do not lead.
I truly believe that one of the healthiest things I, or any pastor can do is to NOT tie their identity up with being a vocational minister. First, because I believe it is an unbiblical view of calling, and a misplaced, dangerous place to find your identity. I CANNOT go through life saying I can’t be content without a paid ministry. Second, because as our society continues it’s trajectory, there will be less and less full-time paid vocational pastoratez avaiable…and we will need men who are humble enough, and secure enough in their identity as a simple child and servant of Jesus to do ministry work without a paycheck, and insome cases, with a secular Job taking the majority of their time.
Sorry for the long comment. I’ve thought a lot about this. 🙂
-Andy
Second, shorter thought…Doug said:
“So, my failure means that not only am I not keeping my hand to the plow and not looking back, I am rejecting how God has qualified me. It’s not simply that I am inadequate to the task, but all the things I need have been given to me and I still failed.”
1. I think it is important to remember that if you, or me, think we have failed in our ministry…WE ARE RIGHT! You, and I, and every other pastor has failed in some, in many ways as a pastor, though sins, neglected duties, self-reliance, folkish choices. Some of our failures have bigger consequences than others, though we don’t get to choose the consequences….some of the failures are the types of sins that disqualify from ministry. But, While my fleshly leaning is to point to certain circumstances that prove I have not failed, I will not be freed to own my failures and learn from them, and hope and pray to God that my failures don’t do too much damage…and to trust God’s promise that neither my failures nor the gates of hell will be able to cause His church to fail.
Like Peter, whom Jesus restored 3x after his 3x denial, we only get to be redeemed when we admit our failure. Like the Gospel, It is only those who know they are lost that see the need for a savior, and it is only those who know they have failed who can receive forgiveness and restoration from failure.
2. If we believe that leaving a particular ministry, or all vocational ministry, is a failure of our calling, then first, see #1, own your part in the situation…. But then also trust that God can give you a new calling for a new season of life.
The starting point for these thoughts was two places:
First, personal wrestling over my pastoral life. I still have every intention to keep on pastoring–not preaching this Sunday because I’ve got an IMB missionary preaching, but I’m back at it Wednesday with a funeral in the AM and normal Wednesday in the evening. But I’m also pondering if there is a good path toward bi-vocational work again and looking at what might make that possible. Except when I talk to other pastors, some of the respond as if those thoughts are “abandoning the call to pastor.” Which seems like nonsense to me.
Second, going back to seminary days but all the way until now, hearing people defend covering up gross sin on the part of pastors in the name of “protecting the called.” And if you’ve never encountered that, then that’s great. But I have. “If you divorce your abusive husband, you’ll keep him from obeying his calling.” “If we report this guy for being a voyeur, it’ll block him from fulfilling his call.”
Which is bovine-by-product. It is the sin of the individual that has already departed obedience. But we (ministry folks) get so obsessed about defending the “called” that we harm the innocent. Maybe we need to rethink how we talk about it altogether.
I totally agree. I struggled with the idea of being “called “ to vocational ministry for years. I finally realized that it is a totally man-made concept that is used to justify all kinds of terrible, unbiblical, and sinful behavior by some individuals in vocational ministry. They use their “call” to convince folks to accept their “authority” to do, basically, anything they want in the church and not be questioned. (Touch not God’s anointed). I just finished reading Eric Metaxes’ biography of Martin Luther. Luther was convinced that scripture did not give a priest or the Pope the authority to forgive someone’s sins, which the church had taught for over 1000 years. Only God can do that. The Catholic church branded Luther a heretic for questioning the church’s authority, even when he clearly proved his point using scripture. It’s ironic that some use this same concept of spiritual authority to justify their unbiblical behavior today. I think that ship sailed about 500 years ago. Some folks obviously didn’t get the memo.
Alan Cross makes a comment on Adam Blosser’s post that makes some sense and which could bring some of us to common ground about the subject of the post and the administration kills comments. Great move, guys.
CB, that’s as relevant to this post as betting on Arkansas State was Saturday….
Doug Hibbard,
The truth is my comment has nothing to do with your post. Your post was the next post after Adam’s that has a live comment thread and I used it for my rant about the admins closing comments on what, due to Alan’s comment, had the possibility of making some progress regarding the subject of the post.
I do apologize to you for my rude behavior. You have every right to call me out for it.
I did read your post, BTW and thought of engaging, but chose not to because it seems that on Voices lately that if a guy brings up a differing thought or opinion, he gets chastised by the admins and their cronies.
Nonetheless and no matter my opinion of the admins new position on comments, I was wrong to state my rant at your expense.
Lastly, don’t give up. You’re one of the good guys left in Baptist ministry.
CB, thanks for the encouragement and the apology.
I would love for a differing or even completing view. This was a “my heart is tired” kind of post, from several sources of frustration in the recent past. I’m fairly certain it’s an incomplete view of how God calls those of us who do the work of pastoring, but focused on the conclusion I’m finding most centered in the text:
That I should be more concerned about walking in obedience to my Lord in what He saved me from, what He saved me for, and who He saved me to serve (Himself!) than I should be concerned about a call to something beyond. Because there is no gift greater than Jesus, and no service greater than to do whatsoever the King commands.
And as for the New Perspective on Comments, let’s just say that we’re still hashing through the possibilities. When it’s all said and done, we’ll produce a four-volume megawork on the research and discussions about comments and when they help, when they hurt, and when they get closed. And whether or not our commenting views are unduly influenced by having once been involved with dial-up BBS services which were all text and really slow.
I can’t begin to tell you how much this post speaks to me today. I am at a turning point of how I serve in ministry…maybe a crossroads. I’m also in the middle of a deep, dark place of doubt and depression. One of the things heavy on my shoulders has been abandoning God’s “call” on my life. This post eases that burden a bit. I am fortunate – I’ve always had a full time job outside of church. I have a wonderful sales career that just went into it’s 28th year. I am thankful I have that to support me instead of feeling married to the ministry. I am a volunteer pastor right now. I decided after leaving a church as lead pastor in 2014 I’d never do paid ministry again. My biggest problem is I did not grow up in church. I followed atheistic ideals until I was 32. I have an extremely hard time adjusting to church – the politics, the tribalism, the gossip, the infighting. It has just worn me out and I’m trying to figure out what to do. It’s made me cynical and skeptical and I’m trying to work through that. Thank you so much for your words Doug.
Doug,
My heart goes out to you brother. I am deeply stirred by your story. I hope you dont mind if I put you on my prayer list. If I can ever do anything for you please let me know.
Doug – thanks for your OP. I’ve always enjoyed reading your posts in various threads. I’m sure you’re a great blessing to your flock. Pray God would guide you and keep the simplicity of our wonderful Lord Jesus front-n-center before your eyes.