Screwtape Letters: SBC Edition (Anonymous)

I (Dave) am doing something today I’ve never done before. I have previously published anonymous or pseudonymous articles for reasons I thought were valid, but I always knew the identity of the author. I received this submission today, ran it past Adam and others, and decided to go ahead and run it – even though I have absolutely no idea who wrote it. 

I would never run a “hit piece” in this way, but this bit of pointed fiction takes a centrist position and makes some powerful points. 

I honestly have no idea who wrote this. Even the email submission came from an anonymous source. But the message is worth reading, regardless of the source. 

NOTE: you are welcome to disagree with my decision to publish this, but the comment stream should be reserved for the discussion of the post, not my decision. 

Screwtape Letters: SBC Edition

 Entry 1

My Dear Wormwood,

You are being assigned to a new patient – the Southern Baptist Convention. You must be clever in the devices you use to bring it down, for some of the traditional methods that made other denominations ineffective failed in the SBC. In the mid-twentieth century, Our Father Below was nearly successful with his Edenic attack on the SBC. In their institutions, they began to take seriously the question, “Hath God said?” Sadly, in the end, they decided the Enemy had indeed spoken, and spoken truly.

Surely there are disagreements about the Enemy’s word among them, but they are not the sorts of disagreements that can undermine their confidence in the word; rather, they are inessential issues that only those who love the Enemy’s word might find worthy of discussion.

No. You must opt for more subtle and cunning methods to make the SBC ineffective. And, you must make them ineffective for they are training over 15,000 young ministers in their academies, and they are planting hundreds of churches within their borders, and they have over 4,000-foot soldiers in far away lands assaulting our ranks in the name of the Enemy! Your mission is most critical. Learn your patient and report back what manner will best advance the attack.

Your affectionate uncle,

Screwtape

Entry 2

My Dear Wormwood,

I was delighted to read your most recent letter and learn of your attack plan. Politics could be a very promising method of engagement. It may well cause division. Many among them are so passionate about political developments that their world seems to rise and fall every four to eight years. Still others seem so dispassionate about politics they rarely engage at all. This is perfect. Each group will look upon the other in haughtiness. The politically motivated will judge the politically detached as foolish and naïve, while the politically detached will judge the politically motivated as too concerned about the things of this world. This may indeed prove to be a wise course of attack.

Your affectionate uncle,

Screwtape

Entry 3

My Dear Wormwood,

You are making great progress and have been the beneficiary of the most extraordinary turn of events. I was so pleased to receive your last report and to hear that a dark horse candidate, with multiple failed marriages, has emerged in the party the SBC supports so strongly, and a candidate that they are divided over! You must fully capitalize on this.

Success here depends on sharply dividing them. It is not enough for them to merely disagree. Christians have often disagreed and voted for different candidates. No, you must convince them there is only one right vote, and it’s the vote they will cast. Not only is anyone who votes differently wrong, they are going against what the Enemy wants.

Also, convince them this is the most important election in the history of the world. The very foundations of civilization are at stake. And if one does not choose the right side, they are contributing to the breakdown of society. Press the patient with these tactics.

Your affectionate uncle,

Screwtape

Entry 4

My Dear Wormwood,

Obviously you are making excellent advance in separating them. Now you must convince each side they are right and entrench them because any backup would be a compromise of conviction. Convince those for the candidate that the Supreme Court and abortion are more important than anything else and must be fought for at all costs, despite the candidate’s character. Convince those who will “never” be for the candidate that character trumps other concerns. After all, the candidate has been in Playboy!

You must pay attention to the rhetoric. This is how you can further divide them. It is not enough to hold different positions; they must attack each other’s positions in sarcastic and biting ways. Bring to the Never crowd’s recollection past resolutions on the character of public officials so that they can call those supporting the candidate hypocrites who have betrayed everything they believe in. And, let those who are for the candidate call the never crowd “panty-waisted, weak-kneed Christians.” Let each side speak condescendingly to the other with phrases like, “We aren’t electing a Theologian-in-Chief” or if you don’t agree with me then you have lost your soul.

Your affectionate uncle,

Screwtape

Entry 5

My Dear Wormwood,

I was delighted to hear that the candidate won, not because he was our Father’s candidate or the Enemy’s, but because this momentum will aid you in pressing the divisions further. You must act swiftly and resourcefully!

Politics was such an ingenious means of attack because it stirs emotions. There are winners and losers. With winners and losers there is momentum. Convince the winners that not only were there politics differences but there are theological differences and leadership differences. Yes, the Never crowd is trying to wrestle control of the SBC from them and common Baptists. They are trying to take it in their own elitist direction. Strike while the iron is hot … you may well distract them from their assault on Our Father’s army and get them bogged down in a civil war for control.

Push them to consider what course of action they can take. Have them team up with people they wouldn’t normally team up with but share their same concerns. Don’t allow the disagreements to remain in private or be dealt with man-to-man. Make this play out on twitter and in national newspapers. The time is now!

Your affectionate uncle,

Screwtape

Entry 6

My Dear Wormwood,

It is wonderful news that some key leaders within your patient have made a public announcement that they will escrow missions dollars pending an investigation into their concerns. You wisely took my advice to have this matter play out in public for all to see rather than in private. It is wonderful because it may convince others to do so … perhaps we can get more of the Enemy’s soldiers off the field. But, it is also wonderful because it will now put public pressure on the Never leadership.

Act quickly to convince the Never leadership that they have made a principled stand and can do no other. They must not back up one wit or be guilty of compromising convictions. Press them to make an apology with the notion of bringing healing and unity but make sure the word “if” is in the apology. But, you must also assure them that they really have nothing to apologize for.

And, you must convince those who were for the candidate that they are owed an apology and are completely in the right. Withholding their money, talking to national newspapers and putting public pressure were genius. Don’t back off now. You are doing the right thing for the Enemy’s cause.

Let there be no compromise. Compromise is for wimps. Let there be no real unity – only feigned unity. Play to each sides’ vanity. Let them be convinced that their own vindication is more important than the Enemy’s fight against Our Father Below!

Your affectionate uncle,

Screwtape

Entry 7

My Dear Wormwood,

Your plan is very near completion. I see the doom of the SBC on the horizon. You have performed excellently. Politics was the right choice for now it has thrust generational and racial dynamics into the struggle as well. Stroke of genius! Churches on all sides are now considering disengaging from the SBC. If you act adeptly here you can deal the SBC a deathblow.

Push both sides to fight rather than cooperate. You must press those for the candidate to maintain their position and not be willing to come to a quick resolution. You must convince the never leadership either to entrench or humbly fall on their sword for the sake of “unity,” which will bring no unity at all, only further division! Convince supporters on both sides to start a social media war where they tweet and subtweet one another!

If both sides remain fixed, more churches with lots of money to spend on missions will choose other avenues for utilizing those funds and the Enemy’s war efforts will be crippled.

If the Never leadership walks away or is removed, many younger and ethnic churches will disengage. The SBC will have effectively eaten its young and communicated to minorities that they don’t belong in this denomination. It is the denomination of slaveholders after all.

Above all else, Wormwood, do not allow either side in this struggle to genuinely humble themselves and unify. That would be disastrous! Persuade them that any reversal here would be a compromise of conviction. The stage is set. The end of the SBC is near.

I look forward to seeing you very soon at the banquet to celebrate your accomplishments. Liberalism did not bring down the SBC but President Trump just might!

Your affectionate uncle,

Screwtape