Like you, I’ve been reading a lot about the current situation with Paige Patterson, the SBC annual meeting, and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. It’s a mess that doesn’t appear to be headed for any kind of resolution before we arrive in Dallas for the annual meeting. While Patterson’s original comments and recent response are deeply disturbing, there have been a few articles written since this all blew up that I have found very helpful and encouraging. I thought I would share them here in an effort to draw more attention to them.
The first is an article by Beth Moore. She calls it “A Letter to My Brothers.” Here are a few quotes from the letter. I encourage you to click through and read the whole thing.
As a woman leader in the conservative Evangelical world, I learned early to show constant pronounced deference – not just proper respect which I was glad to show – to male leaders and, when placed in situations to serve alongside them, to do so apologetically. I issued disclaimers ad nauseam. I wore flats instead of heels when I knew I’d be serving alongside a man of shorter stature so I wouldn’t be taller than he. I’ve ridden elevators in hotels packed with fellow leaders who were serving at the same event and not been spoken to and, even more awkwardly, in the same vehicles where I was never acknowledged. I’ve been in team meetings where I was either ignored or made fun of, the latter of which I was expected to understand was all in good fun. I am a laugher. I can take jokes and make jokes. I know good fun when I’m having it and I also know when I’m being dismissed and ridiculed. I was the elephant in the room with a skirt on. I’ve been talked down to by male seminary students and held my tongue when I wanted to say, “Brother, I was getting up before dawn to pray and to pore over the Scriptures when you were still in your pull ups.”
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About a year ago I had an opportunity to meet a theologian I’d long respected. I’d read virtually every book he’d written. I’d looked so forward to getting to share a meal with him and talk theology. The instant I met him, he looked me up and down, smiled approvingly and said, “You are better looking than _________________________________.” He didn’t leave it blank. He filled it in with the name of another woman Bible teacher.
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Finally, I’m asking that you would simply have no tolerance for misogyny and dismissiveness toward women in your spheres of influence. I’m asking for your deliberate and clearly conveyed influence toward the imitation of Christ in His attitude and actions toward women. I’m also asking for forgiveness both from my sisters and my brothers. My acquiescence and silence made me complicit in perpetuating an atmosphere in which a damaging relational dynamic has flourished. I want to be a good sister to both genders. Every paragraph in this letter is toward that goal.
I am grateful for the privilege to be heard. I long for the day – have asked for the day – when we can sit in roundtable discussions to consider ways we might best serve and glorify Christ as the family of God, deeply committed to the authority of the Word of God and to the imitation of Christ. I am honored to call many of you friends and deeply thankful to you for your devotion to Christ. I see Him so often in many of you.
After reading Beth’s article, you should read this letter from Thabiti Anyabwile. It is an apology to Beth. Here are a few quotes from his letter. Again, you should read the whole thing.
Some years later, I thought I had learned a few things. By then, I had become a “complementarian,” though my understanding of that view wasn’t deep. I had picked up the attitude—the patronizing and chauvinistic attitude—of some professing “complementarians.” My heart met nearly every mention of a woman in ministry with a scoff and the suspicion that that woman did not understand or accept the Bible’s teaching on gender roles.
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So, I want very much to ask your forgiveness.
I want to admit my sin publicly, because my sins have affected a wider public than I know. I don’t want to pass under the radar hoping others might afford me the benefit of the doubt or because they might appreciate something else about me might put me in the category of men you so graciously say you’re not addressing.
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I do now commit to being a more outspoken champion for my sisters and for you personally. Not that you need me to be but because it is right. I hope, with God’s help, to grow in sanctification, especially with regards to any sexism, misogyny, chauvinism, and the like that has used biblical teaching as a cover for its growth.
Finally, if you are looking for some advice on counseling victims of domestic violence, consider this article by Bruce Ashford, J. D. Greear, and Brad Hambrick. It’s called “4 Myths about Responding to Spousal Abuse.” Here are some noteworthy quotes.
Pastors who wish to support, protect, and counsel survivors of abuse are often left wondering how best to minister to them. They know abuse is a multi-faceted evil. They want to provide the best counsel possible. But several misconceptions around the issue can cloud the thoughts and guide the actions of well-intentioned church leaders.
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God hates divorce because he loves marriage. But that is also why he hates abuse. Paul says marriage should reflect the order and commitment within the Godhead, and thus should depict Christ’s sacrificial love for the church. Abuse is in diametric opposition to God’s design for marriage. Any steps taken to protect victims of domestic abuse, therefore, are steps towards fulfilling God’s will for marriage. By intervening on behalf of those afflicted by slander (abusive speech) or violence (abusive actions), we serve as God’s arm for executing justice for the needy (Ps. 140:11–12).
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It can be difficult for many church leaders to understand why the actions and processes of the church should be postponed so legal processes can unfold. But in Romans 13, Paul makes it very clear that in criminal matters, the state is God’s agent of justice. Deferring to legal processes is not putting God second; it is recognizing who God asked to take the lead when a crime has been committed. By putting the needs of the victim first, you are not minimizing the offenses of the abuser. Rather, you are preparing the victim to walk a difficult journey after her abuse becomes public knowledge.
I believe that what others intend for evil, God intends for good. I’m seeking to learn through this. I hope you are as well. The articles above have helped me. I trust they will help you too.
I appreciate Beth Moore speaking out, and this enables me to get a picture of what has been going on with men and women in our denomination.
I am not saying that the degradation and the abuse of women never happens. But in my time in the SBC aproximately 18 years I have seen very little of it. In fact in the SBC local church I find women to play major roles in functions and treated as matriarchs by the people within them. I just think we need to be careful about painting a brought brush across the whole SBC as being people that denigrate women. My wife even has told me recently she is thankful for how the SBC respects women compared to the Independent Baptist Church she grew up in. I just think we need to be cautious
Thanks for your comments. But you are not standing in Beth’s heels or flats, nor mine. Everything she said, from being ignored in the elevator and car, to deferring when a male leader is in the room is spot on.
I’ve was left unacknowledged in a prominent male leader’s home, even though invited and seated immediately to his right. He spoke at length with several men at the opposite end of the table. I sat in silence, nodded from time to time at the men’s remarks, smiled at the various comments and polished off my very delicious meal while silently admiring the lovely table settings. I think I may have spoken to the dog, who I believe was a male. So there’s that. I had a few things I could have added to the table conversation, but it wasn’t worth trying to speak, and I was never asked my thoughts anyway. And then I left thanking the host for such a wonderful…meal.
It’s a little embarrassing to say, but some women must learn to tiptoe and take on a certain demeanor when in the presence of male leaders, especially powerful ones. And it’s been that way, especially since the last BF&M.
But, I’m happy that your wife is happy in your SB church. Good for her and all the women in your church. In my personal experience, mid to smaller SB churches that have a strong legacy of women serving and using their gifts to grow the church generally welcome and respect women as a co-laborer with Christ.
I see it all the time. May be subtle. Ask any woman about “mansplaining.” Sometimes it’s condescension. Sometimes ignoring. I’d offer the example of Steve Gaines evang task force. Not misogyny but just not considered. Maybe he had a reason. Or, women treated differently here at times. Stuff like that.
It’s part of the SBC culture.
I don’t doubt Moore’s examples.
William,
Would you mind elaborating on your statement about voices?
I would like to add this article to the list above. It’s also disturbing. When someone can be fired simply for tweeting an article that questions someone in power we have entered into a very dark place.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/amphtml/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2018/05/04/southern-baptist-leader-who-advised-abused-women-not-to-divorce-doubles-down-says-he-has-nothing-to-apologize-for/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.2cdbb27a4a4d&__twitter_impression=true
For those of you arguing secular HR practices as a defense for Patterson firing this young man… In most states, I assume in Texas as well, Employers speaking publicly about personnel matters is a no, no. The “long history” comment may come back on him and the Seminary. Montgomery recorded the encounter.
I say take PP at his word and “ don’t take your problems to the government/court“. This sounds like an issue for Christian arbitration.
Tarheel,
I agree with your comment here. As a former HR manager myself, you should never reveal details publicly of a termination of an employee.
Ryan, it does more than questions someone in power. The aforementioned article was calling on his boss to resign. And folks have been getting fired for quite a while now for criticizing their boss on social media. It was not a very smart move for a PHD student.