You probably have a “Mark” in your life. We want to be living in the epilogue and not in the beginning of the story. Here is how to help the “Marks” in your life. If “Mark” is not a Calvinist but is carrying some other doctrine in an angry and divisive manner I think the advice could still pertain.
Also keep in mind that I’m a Calvinist who sadly used to be a little too close to Mark. These are some of the things the Lord used in my life—both from Calvinists and non-Calvinists to help me walk more faithfully in step with the Spirit and not be “Mark”.
Calvinists helping “Mark”
- Love him. If God has given you the grace to be a humble Calvinist then rather than dismissing angry and divisive young Calvinists you need to love them and do the difficult thing of entering into their lives.
- Model humility when discussing doctrine (any doctrine) with those who differ. Differ and teach others with gentleness and respect.
- Call him out on his arrogance, pride, and divisiveness (after #1 has been firmly established).
- Minister with Arminians. I say Arminians but I really mean any that aren’t hardcore Calvinists like Mark. He wants to make everything about Calvinism. Put people in his life who really don’t care much about the issue but just want to see Jesus glorified. This will season him and help him see there are more important issues than whether or not a man’s favorite flower is a Tulip.
- Be a consistent Calvinist and push Mark in the same way.
- Have him read fiction, biographies, and practical books just as much as doctrine.
- Have him teach children. (Or better yet have him get married and have his own children—though I wouldn’t suggest you being in control of this).
- Hang out with dead guys (John Newton, Charles Simeon, Robert Murray McCheyne, etc.) These guys will agree with him doctrinally but their humble hearts will be contagious
- Be Trinitarian. We Calvinists love to give lip service to this but we can easily become doctrine centered and not fixated on the beauty and majesty of the Trinity. The only thing that can really help Mark is a better grasp of the gospel—or perhaps the gospel having a better grasp on Mark. Keep the gospel central not his Calvinism.
- Entrust “Mark” to the work of the Spirit. He’s not an unbeliever he’s just acting like one at times. The Spirit wants Mark to be a humble and consistent believer more than you do. He’s in charge of Mark. Entrust the Spirit to mold and shape Mark’s heart.
Non-Calvinists Helping “Mark”
If Mark is like many angry and divisive Calvinists then he is sinning by making Calvinism the issue instead of love. He will probably have less respect for you and your walk with Christ simply because you are not a Calvinist. He will try to convert you to Calvinism so that you finally get ministry correct. He will not be quick to listen to you or even to fellowship with you. This is sad. This is sin. But this is a painful reality (though not as pervasive as some would have us believe). Still you are called to help Mark…
- Love Him. It will be hard because Mark is going to insult you.
- Don’t argue theology with him. This is what he wants. A Calvinist will never win this argument with an angry and divisive Arminian. Same goes for someone trying to win this debate with an angry and divisive Calvinist. Even if you win who cares—you’ve both lost because “Mark’s” heart hasn’t been addressed.
- Have him hang out with dead guys. Your chance of “softening” Mark is pretty negligent. But you can certainly put a few of these men in his life that are Calvinists who will season him. Have him read a healthy dose of Newton or Charles Simeon.
- Make the Gospel Central. If you have a high view of God’s sovereignty, you love Jesus, you care about doctrine, you share the gospel with people, etc. then hopefully Mark will begin to see past his silly idea that Calvinism is the most important question you can ask of somebody. Help him see his (and your) identity is in Jesus and not adherence to TULIP.
- Entrust “Mark” to the work of the Spirit. He’s not an unbeliever he’s just acting like one at times. The Spirit wants Mark to be a humble and consistent believer more than you do. He’s in charge of Mark. Entrust the Spirit to mold and shape Mark’s heart.
Many of those in the Calvinists helping “Mark” could be applied here as well but I have intentionally kept this list more short and to the point. The biggest thing you can do is to love “Mark” and point him to people that he will naturally trust and respect (just because they were the Scarlet C). Keep plodding along, keep preaching the gospel, keep growing yourself, and keep loving Mark and entrusting Him to the Spirit. Your goal isn’t to get him “un-Reformed” your goal is to get him to love Jesus more and to trust the Spirit. If Calvinism is false don’t worry—the Spirit will work on Mark’s heart and fine tune his theology as well.
I have enjoyed Mike’s series on this subject.
There have been countless shout-a-thons about Calvinism on blogs, even this one. But Mike has identified real problems and provided humble, workable solutions so that we can work together in the SBC.
Thank you, Mike.
Hi Mike,
I just have a question for clarification. Under point 4 of “Non-Calvinists Helping Mark,” you state “If you have a high view of God’s sovereignty…” What do you mean by a “high view” of God’s sovereignty? I’m just asking for clarification.
Jim G.
If I read his Facebook correctly, Mike is at the T4G conference and may not be answering questions. Not sure, but I think I saw that.
Jim,
I am at T4G so please forgive me for the brevity of my response. I basically mean a “biblical” view of his sovereignty. But because that unfortunately isn’t helpful I’ll try to expound. No matter your view on free will, foreknowledge, the ordo salutis, etc. at the end of the day we have to biblically confess that God is soveriegn and He saves people. How that works is part of the discussion. But sadly there are those whose view of Gods sovereignty is very low. (Open Theology, outright Pelagianism, etc.). Hope this helps..all I can offer at this point.
Sure does, Mike. Thanks.
The “high view” kinda threw me off. I think my view of God’s sovereignty is “high,” but I am sure others don’t think it is quite so high.
Jim G.
Thanks for asking for clarification. You are right that it wasn’t clear. Your question makes the article better. Thanks.
As a total, great series. I hope people from all doctrinal vantage points will see the wisdom in your advice for shepherding those in a “cage stage” of their development theological (and there could be cage stage Calvinists, Arminians, “Biblicists”, dispensationalists, recovering dispensationalists, Charismatics, non-Charismatics, contemporary church advocates, traditional church advocates, etc.). I hope the younger guys around this blog (I’m guessing I’m still among them somewhat) take “Mark”s story to heart and that the older guys see opportunities to help mentor and disciple Cage-stagers towards Jesus (despite what doctrinal disagreements there may be).
Even though, I stayed out of the comments on this series, I really enjoyed it. This post gave me some things to think about. Thanks for being willing to share. I learned some things that I need to start putting into practice. “Even if you win who cares—you’ve both lost because “Mark’s” heart hasn’t been addressed.” This sentence may have spoke to me the most. Very well said.
Mike’s like that.
He is a fantastic writer.