Forgive me for venting, but it makes me really mad.
I heard it again recently – this time from my son. He waits tables at a national chain restaurant near our home (think soup, salad, breadsticks and pasta) and he confirmed what I had heard before. Servers do not want to work Sunday mornings because “the church crowd” doesn’t tip well.
That fries my bacon!
The servers at your local restaurant make about 2/3 of minimum wage – or even less. They only get paid a decent wage if you tip. And if you don’t tip them, they probably don’t feel too warm and fuzzy about you later. And if they know you are a Christian, they probably don’t feel too warm and fuzzy about your God.
A fifteen percent tip is standard. If you got good service, you should go 20% or more! That is part of going out to eat. If you don’t want to tip – stay home!
It makes me furious when I hear that Christians have a reputation for being stingy when the time comes to leave a tip. I cannot imagine why that is. Those who have been given life through the grace of Jesus Christ, who have the promise of the presence and provision of Christ and have access to all the blessings of heaven turn into clones of Ebenezer Scrooge when the bill comes at the restaurant?
Shame.
So, here are Miller’s Rules for Tipping. Yes, they are rules. Because I said so! And if you can’t abide by them, then eat at McDonald’s where tips are not expected. Do not bring reproach to Christ and to his church by ignoring the rules!
1) If you bow your head in prayer at the beginning of the meal, tip generously at the end of it!
Most of those who serve your table are not Christians. Your testimony is more important than anything else. If you aren’t going to leave a tip, then please do not shame the Savior’s name by bowing your head to pray. If you are going to tip like a stingy jerk, don’t put the blame on the Savior for your greed and stinginess.
2) If you get bad service, tip by grace!
My dad said this to me years ago. It makes sense if you believe in grace and if ministry is your goal and not just your own comfort. If your waiter is giving you bad service, he is probably having a bad day. Why not be a blessing instead of piling on to his (or her) pain. Maybe your grace can lift their spirits and turn their day around. If the service is bad, don’t go back to the restaurant or request another server next time. But leave a tip, regardless of how bad the service is. Your testimony is more important than your anger over your bad service.
3) Be a pleasant and enjoyable customer.
Evidently, the “church crowd” not only has a reputation for being cheap, but also tends to complain a lot and be demanding and difficult. Inexcusable.
4) Remember that you are not there just to eat, but to represent Christ.
Do I need to elaborate on this one? You belong to Jesus and it matters more that you bless the restaurant than that the restaurant bless you.
5) DON’T LEAVE TRACTS to the wait staff.
They generally do little good. And they can often do great harm.
The worst tract ever was one I heard of that looked like money, but inside it said, “Silver and gold have I none, but such as I have I give to you,” along with a gospel message.
You may realize that the gospel if of greater value than a monetary tip, but your server doesn’t. They think you are a cheap jerk and are not likely to read the tract. A gospel tract probably does more damage than good.
If you are determined to leave a tract, you better pay for that right with a tip so large the server wants to read whatever you left!
I think it is an offense to the gospel and to our Savior that Christian people have the reputation of being lousy tippers.
Let’s clean up our act and change the perception.
Consider this a tip!
Here, here. This message is one that ought to be aired more often. It is a disgrace for people to say “grace” then have none. I recall the story of one college professor who, on a Sunday dinner, encountered a server who was nearly in tears. He apologized after learning the horrible way that the “church people” had been treating their servers (demanding more than good service, but selfishly and loudly embarrassing themselves–oblivious to it all, and then leaving a gospel tract in lieu of a tip or accompanying a $1 tip for a $40 meal). The server reached in her uniform pocket and pulled out a fistful of tracts and with genuine tears in her eyes said, “I have three children. I can’t feed them with theses!”
One school of thought says that “tip” means “to insure promptness” so tip according to your service. I say, if you really want good service be known as a good tipper. Be generous, be loving, and if you want to witness to someone, get to know them and talk to them face to face–don’t be a coward hiding behind somebody else’s pamphlet.
I also work at that chain. The most insulting thing is when a guest writes God bless or Jesus loves you on the receipt then leaves 10%. I know that all the money I get comes from the Lord, so I try not to get but so mad.
We make it a practice to offer to pray for our servers. That’s been a real blessing, and also assures we tip something over 20%.
And when we do that, it’s easy to ask if they’d like one of these little booklets that was written by Billy Graham. They seldom turn those down.
Dave,
I agree with your article except for the last point. Tracts have been, and still are, greatly used of God to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
In the last several months I’ve had two different waitresses open their books and show me the tracts I had left for them in the past. One spoke to me of her sister who recently died and wanted to know more about what happens at death. She gave me even more of an opportunity to share the Gospel with her.
Evangelist R. L. Sumner taught me that a tract is also more effective if you say a brief, friendly word to the waiter / waitress about it. And always use an appropriate tract in good condition. I agree that tracts that look like money are poor choices.
But never, never leave a tract unless you have been on your best behavior and leave a tip of over 15%.
I’ve posted several articles on tracts. One of them:
L. R. Scarborough on Tracts
http://gulfcoastpastor.blogspot.com/2011/05/l-r-scarborough-on-tracts.html
David R. Brumbelow
I agree. There’s nothing wrong with leaving a tract with your (good!) tip, just don’t leave a tract as your tip.
Squirrel
I don’t disagree. I’m really focusing on the practice of some to leave a tract instead of a tip (or at least a good one). If you were visiting a home to talk about Christ, you wouldn’t step in mud then walk around the house leaving mud everywhere and then expect that they would be pleased to hear your message.
If you are going to leave a tip (and this might sound crass) you buy the right with a generous tip.
Dave,
Walking around people’s houses with muddy feet is a bad thing?
David
🙂
So is it okay to leave a tract if you leave a 20% tip?
As a side note–one thing I hate about going out and eating w/ someone who is going to foot my bill is I don’t know how they’re going to tip. If they pay w/ a card, what is, is… but I’ve been in several situations where they pay w/ cash, get their change back, then toss a dollar on the table (for at least a two person meal, which any more can cost upwards of $30 when you factor in drinks).
I’ll hold out at the table as long as I can, excuse myself to go to the bathroom and tell them I’ll meet them at the door, and then toss a few more dollars down myself when I walk out…
I sometimes wonder in cases like those if it is not so much that people don’t care or whatever, or more ignorance of the fact that most waiters and waitresses do make less than minimum wage b/c tips are figured in as part of their pay?
“I’ll hold out at the table as long as I can, excuse myself to go to the bathroom and tell them I’ll meet them at the door, and then toss a few more dollars down myself when I walk out…”
I’m going to borrow that maneuver.
I’ve done something similar.
Great reminders, Dave. #2 hits the nail on the head. It’s not about what the waiter “earned”; in fact, a gracious tip to a obnoxious, lazy waiter or waitress may really open eyes.
And if you use coupons, share 1 plate, drink only waters to cut your meal price, etc….send a little bit of that savings to the waitstaff by tipping a little extra as well! They still have to do the same amount of work on refills whether you get the free ice water or the $2 pop.
Brother Dave,
I have found out that 20% is the normal tip now-a-days. Therefore, I have begun leaving at the minimum of 25% of the cost of my meal. Whenever I go to a restaurant such as Texas Roadhouse, Olive Garden, or some other restaurant the tip is usually around $10-$15. I usually plan for this when I am ordering as I know what I have budgeted for that meal with my wife and daughter.
Of course, if one will tip generously one seldom eats out. 🙂
Blessings,
Tim
Wow, Tim…25%!!!! Dude, let me wait on your table the next time you go to Olive Garden. I can wear one of those little apron things…I’ll give yall the best service you’ve ever had.
David
We usually tip 20%. Easier to calculate in your head. We don’t leave tracts.
As a former server at Red Lobster for over a year I can attest that the bad tippers are equal among christians and non-christians. I had several obviously non-christian people tip terribly bad. I also had christian people tip terribly bad and yes, sometimes leave a track.
At the same time I had several tips from Christians that were significantly over 20%.
I’m the guy you brought basket after basket of those fantastic garlic biscuits too… 🙂
Oh SQUIRREL,
you sound like my dear friend Betts who always brought a VERY LARGE TOTE with her when we all went out to eat.
I don’t know how she did it, but she got her money’s worth for sure. No one ever saw her, but later, she brought out all the stuff she ‘couldn’t eat’ at the buffets we teachers went to:
Her philosophy was that she had paid for it, but couldn’t eat it all at one time, and didn’t want it to go to waste (waist).
Squirrel, I’ve had those garlic biscuits and two was my limit.
Tell us how you did it. 🙂
How did I do it, Christiane? I ate them. I ate them all. I ate them with joy. I ate them with thanksgiving. My waistline is evidence that I ate them.
By God’s mercy and providence, the closest Red Lobster is two hours away, across two mountain passes. It is now a rare and beloved treat. 🙂
Squirrel
Unfortunately, I’ve learned to nearly fake those biscuits here on the prairie.
That has not helped the goal of fitting into the old pants that aren’t worn out.
Doug, I can fake ’em pretty good, too…
SQUIRREL, this winter, if you can’t get through the mountain passes to get to the Red Lobster, here is a recipe for a batch of those biscuits. Enjoy!
Ingredients:
2 cups buttermilk baking mix, Bisquick
2/3 cup milk
1/2 cup shredded sharp Cheddar cheese
1/4 cup butter, melted
1/4 tsp garlic powder
Preparation:
In mixing bowl, mix together baking mix, milk and cheese until a soft dough forms, then beat vigorously 30 seconds. Drop from spoon onto ungreased baking sheet and bake at 450° until golden brown, 9 to 10 minutes. Mix together butter and garlic powder. Brush over hot biscuits and serve hot. Makes 10 – 12.
Now, Squirrel, you can substitute low-fat Bisquick, low-fat milk, and low-fat cheese, if you wish, but I would always use real butter in the recipe . . . flavor and texture depend on it.
With your tendency to eat baskets-full at a time, I think ten or twelve should do it for you, or you can double the recipe. (I don’t know if that is such a good idea, though)
Doubling the recipe is always a good idea…
Great post, Dave. My son in law was a waiter at Cracker Barrel while going to Union University. He said that he got terrible tips from some of the “Church crowd.”
I would say this about the tracts, though. I agree with David Brumbelow. Tracts are good things. I leave a generous tip in the tract. And, I would also agree with you…if you leave a tract, you’d better put a good tip in it, or else you’re just making the waiter/waitress mad.
David
Another way to put it – Christians should be such good tippers and so respectful of the workers, that when they enter the restaurant waitresses fight over who gets to serve them.
David R. Brumbelow
PS – If you can’t afford a tip, order water instead of a coke or iced tea or coffee. Use that extra money to give at least a 15% tip.
David B.,
You just said a great thing here…because, some Believers act very, very bad when their service is not exactly like they want it to be. I am trying very hard to be more patient, and more gracious when the service is not what I like.
David
When I linked to this article on Twitter, my daughter, who works in the food service business, replied, “My whole staff hates Sundays, because tracks DON’T pay our bills! And it’s unfortunately true- church crowds are rude!”
Now we know that many of the folks who go to church and who identify themselves are Christians are “professing what they don’t possess.” But the wait staff doesn’t know that.
We need to do a better job of educating our churches that Christians are supposed to strive to be the best that we can be at everything: the best husbands, the best wives, the best students, the best employers, the best employees, and the best customers. Remember, the whole concept of “going the extra mile” comes from the very words of Christ!
Really, if we were as we ought to be, the wait staff at restaurants should look forward to Sunday lunch, because those after church crowds should be the most polite, most fun, most understanding, most generous customers they’ll see all week.
Squirrel
Bingo. If Christians were walking the talk, wait staff would fight to have the Sunday shift (that raises other issues, of course) because Christians would be so kind and generous.
You two nailed it.
God may judge part of our Christianity by how well we treat those who serve.
David R. Brumbelow
Working for tips in a restaurant, grocery store or hotel is an interesting job. I have done them all and enjoyed the rewards from my efforts. I have bagged 20 bags of groceries paid for by food stamps and delivered them to a $40K custom van with no tip and I’ve waited on a couple no one wanted to and was tipped very well. My dad is stuck in the 1950’s and if you get 2 quarters and a gospel track you did a great job. Of course, you get a track either way.
Everyone needs to work for tips at least once in their life. It gives you a fresh idea of how this side of the business works. However, there are other reasons why the tipee doesn’t receive the expected amount. Here are a few:
1. The establishment doesn’t draw the tipping crowd.
2. The cook didn’t provide a flavorful meal.
3. The establishment doesn’t have clean bathrooms.
4. The establishment uses cheap utensils.
5. The establishment doesn’t provide enough food for the money.
6. The establishment doesn’t encourage you to cater to the customer.
7. Sometimes the waiter isn’t really that good.
Have your son take his experience to the next step toward the higher end restaurants.
There are more ignorant or resistant people out there than you think. You can preach to my dad all day long and he will not increase his tipping, neither will most people. Sometimes you have to gravitate to the places where people who tip go to eat, sleep and shop.
I tip 15% and more if the waiter, the food, the service and the establishment are worth it. The better the wait staff are tipped at a good establishment the better overall everything will be. The establishment will draw the better wait staff, too.
Great post, Dave.
Also, once you have finished eating, move on quickly. That table can be filled with a better tipper than you.
Great post, and Amen!
As a former waiter I dreaded the Sunday crowd. Not only were they not going to tip me well, but they didn’t really treat me well either. What’s up with that? You just came from Church and you’re going to treat me — unbeknownst to you a brother in Christ! — like a dog? Hey people, if restaurants weren’t open on Sundays, you’d have to cook your chicken! You should be utterly grateful on Sunday outings!
Let me also say that I was completely unnerved once to have a group of four Messianic Pentecostals to, after I sat their plates before them, grab my hands and pray over the dinner! (But at least they tipped well 🙂 )
did they pray in tongues?
Lol … not that I could hear …
American Tract Society is one of the better sources of tracts.
ATStracts.org
800/54-TRACT
I especially like theirs on John Newton and the Amazing Story of Amazing Grace.
Also, the NAMB.
David R. Brumbelow
Sadly, many servers suffer for the incompetence of the cook. The quality of the food should not be a determiner of the amount one tips (although it often is). I once heard that if the service or food is below par one should leave two pennies–it sends the message that (1) you did not forget to tip, and (2) you were dissatisfied with the service. I also heard of one man who took this to the extreme–if his service was acceptable he gave a typical to generous tip, if not he had taken tin snips to pennies and left a portion of one on the table.
Again sadly, these are stories I heard of people who claimed to be Christians! Whatever happened to emulating Christ? You remember, the One who said to one woman who had sinned against (not her accusers) God (Jesus, if you please), “Go, and sin no more.”
Might I suggest that as believers we should all always tip generously for a couple of reasons:
1) The service staff depends on tips to make their paycheck equal to minimum wage in other work settings,
2) While you just arrived at the table, your server may be at the end of long shift,
3) The cook may be new and learning the menu.
In short, you don’t know what the server has been through, but you have been called to emulate a Christlike spirit toward them.
I paid my way through Seminary delivering pizza. The other drivers hated delivering to the seminary because they knew they were more than likely to get no tip or a small tip. I have found gay men to be some of the best tippers. I figure many of them have worked in the service industry. The practice of leaving a tract that looks like money on a table makes me irate.
Aaron,
You are right about that tract that looks like money. That is evangelism at it the lowest level. It is putrid.
BTW, I have always tipped very well, so if you went to SEBTS or NOBTS and you ever delivered a pizza to 329 Pine Street in Wake Forest, NC or to the Searcy Home at New Orleans, the white headed guy that paid you is not gay. 🙂
why not honor the Lord’s Day by NOT going out to eat
and affording others the opportunity to also spend the day worshipping God aslso
Isn’t engaging in commerce (unless necessary) a violation of the 4th commandment -Exodus 20 – 5-8
Sunday is not the Sabbath day.
Bill Mac,
That’s right. I don’t know why Christians insist on tyring to apply anything from the Old Testament. Jesus said, Himself, “I have not come to fulfill the Law, but to erase it.”
It’s time we got rid of all that Old Testament myth and mumbo-jumbo and got into the New Testament where Paul teaches that we can use our “liberty as a license.”
I think I got all that straight?
While I love Chick-fil-A and greatly respect their long-standing policy, strictly enforced, that no Chick-fil-A will be open on Sundays, I am not at all a sabbaterian.
The keeping of the Sabbath was the sign of the Sinaitic Covenant, which is the covenant that has been replaced by the New Covenant. The 10 Commandments are part and parcel of the Sinaitic Covenant, also. That covenant was done away with at the Cross.
As the BF&M 2000 says, in direct reflection of what is taught in Romans 14, “Activities on the Lord’s Day should be commensurate with the Christian’s conscience under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.” This would include eating out. If your conscience says that you should not eat out on Sunday, then you should not eat out on Sunday, as that would be sin for you to go against your conscience. If your conscience allows you to eat out on Sunday, then you are free to eat out on Sunday. “Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.” (Romans 14:5b)
Squirrel
Also, while we’ve been talking about the “after church crowd” throughout these comments, the question of honoring Christ with your tips isn’t limited to Sundays only.
Squirrel
I agree with the answers already given, Douglas. Saturday was the Jewish Sabbath and Romans 14 makes it crystal clear (to me at least) that if you choose to observe a Sabbath you are free to, but are not under any obligation.
And, if you are a pastor, the idea of Sunday as a day of rest (especially with Sunday night services) is little short of a joke.
How does a guy register a triple A-Men on a blog thread?
This statement deserves one:
“And, if you are a pastor, the idea of Sunday as a day of rest (especially with Sunday night services) is little short of a joke.”
Here goes my effort.
Dave, A-Men 3MAX
Ah, that don’t sound right. Forget the church talk.
Here goes again.
Dave, That was a Ten Ring At One Thousand Yards.
During a sermon, I touched on the subject of tips and the fact that some churchgoers actually hurt the cause of Christ due to their callous behavior of wait staff. I also commented that the tip you leave says more about you than your server.
The next Sunday one of our deacons jokingly fussed at me for having gotten into his pocketbook. He says to this day that every time he goes to leave a tip he remembers my remark about his tip being more of a reflection on him than his server and ends up laying down several more dollars.
One of the best compliments I have ever gotten after meeting a friend of my sons (he was our waiter while we were eating out). “Your dad’s a good tipper.”
Another personal pet peeve, churchgoers eating out after church. I eat dinner at home on Sunday. It’s hard to reconcile teaching the Christian Sabbath as a day of rest while being the reason that so many cannot.
Thanks for the great post!
Yeah, we seldom went out to eat when I was a kid, but that ship has sailed. And I doubt that most of those who are serving tables would be in church if they weren’t working.
But I think your approach on this issue was excellent.
Growing up in Atlanta, for us eating out after church was a rare thing. A real treat. When we did go out after church, it was always to the S&S Cafeteria on Chamblee Tucker Rd. Just thinking about it brings back memories! (And it has been 35 years, at least…)
Squirrel
That’s why I don’t teach a ‘Christian Sabbath’ (see here)
🙂
Squirrel
My only “Christian sabbath” fuss is this one: preachers that fume about their congregation members missing church for work…and then go out to eat/shop/whatever.
If you think your congregation should not be working on that day, you should not be causing the need for workers on that day.
In general, though, Larry’s Pizza is going to be open whether I eat there or not. And I greatly appreciated the closed on Sundays at CFA when I worked there in seminary. Allowed me 1 day that got more than 5 hours of sleep.
I know that we’re way off topic with all the “Sabbath” talk. Through God’s providence, I was confronted with this subject years ago, when a Seventh Day Adventist group held a large month-long free conference in the town where we were at. On a whim, we attended (hey, it was free…), and I knew there was something… off… with their teachings. (Not just the Sabbath stuff, but the legalism, OT diet stuff, etc.) And so I dug into all of their beliefs.
The process caused my own beliefs to “firm up” on the place of the OT law in the life of the New Covenant Church. It was an excellent study. Maybe I’ll write about it sometime.
Squirrel
2 things– 1) If a man will not work, he shouldn’t eat—Do we encourage a lousy work ethic through tipping no matter what kind of service we get? If so, why not pay everyone a little extra no matter what type of service they provide? “Do you see a man who excels in his work” He will stand before kings”Prov 22:29— at least implies a worker doing his best. A tip is of course obligatory, but to reward laziness is a bit much in my opinion. 2) of those who have said that they do not leave tracts, how many would consider themselves in the reformed category? Maybe completely irrelevant, but maybe not
Let’s not bring John Calvin into this one!
I understand your concern about work ethic. However, are you really going to straighten someone out by leaving a tip.
Might be better to say, “Look, Buford, I’m not crazy about the service I received here today. On the other hand, you’ve got a tough job to do and I want to bless you. So, here’s something to help you.”
Bet you Buford never lets your Diet Coke glass run dry the next time you are there.
We are people of grace. Let’s use grace in our dining!
Call me shallow–call me a little too cautious of malaria–but I tend to avoid eating at places where the waiters name is Buford.
Nonetheless, solid point Dave. Consider Les Miserables and Romans 5:5-11. Seems to me that grace and Christ-like love has a drawing power.
I am suffering from a gunshot wound to my left shoulder (don’t remember getting shot, but only a bullet could hurt this much). So, my reaction here might be as much due to pain meds as to anything else.
But your Buford comment really made me laugh.
All I can think of is images of Buford T. Justice as a waiter.
“What we’re dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the servers.”
Great. Now…”I’m not proud…I’m amazed.”
And various other Buford quotes in my head and I’m supposed to preach shortly.
I think some folks just look for a mistake in the service of the server so they can justify being stingy rascals.
Remember what the prophetess Donna Summer said:
“She works hard for the money.
So hard for it, honey
She works hard for the money
So you better treat her right.”
Ok, CB Scott singing Donna Summer songs is more than I can take…
David
🙂
the mental image of CB singing Donna Summer songs, along with Disco Dance moves, is like purgatory going on in my mind.
Vol,
You should have heard and saw me sing Cher’s Greatest Hits for a Quarterback Club fund raiser for my son’s football team back in ’89. We made a small fortune.
“Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves…”
Of course, some of my brethren in the local pastor’s conference wanted to excommunicate me for appearing as a woman in public. They accused me of promoting the lifestyle of a transvestite. True story.
David, will you join me in offering a cash reward for any video of that event that may be out there? Honestly, that would make my year.
Dave,
Yes, to see that video, I will buy anyone a a full rack of ribs, sides, drink(non-alcoholic, of course), and dessert.
What will you throw in, Dave?
David
Pretty much what the owner asks for.
Dave, this is a huge thing with me, too. My first job was at age 15 (back when they allowed child labor :o) as a waitress in pancake house. I would beg for the Sat night shift instead of any Sunday night shift because the party goers and drunks tipped so well but the after church crowd hardly tipped at all…it was not worth my time to work for 1.25/hr without tips!. It taught me a big lesson early on. I agree with the comment above about going 20%. And if that is too much, don’t go out to eat. And if you are only ordering coffee, leave about 3x the price of the coffee as a tip. You took up a money making table.
And watch youth group outings. Are they going to places after church being loud, obnoxious and making messes they don’t clean up?
The youth group thing is very true as well.
Lydia,
I have always told my children, “If you can’t afford a good tip, just stop at a gas station and get yourself a pack of crackers and a Coke.”
And you are right about the coffee and the youth groups.
This issue comes up nearly every year come convention time at whatever city is “lucky” enough to host us. And it is sad every single time. I truly don’t understand how so called “Christians” can be so oblivious and rude.
Personally I have adapted my fathers tipping system. Great service will get 20%+ (for truly awe inspiring service we have been known to go north of 30%). Average service will usually get 15%-18%. Terrible service will get 10% to the penny, though it is a lot more effective when you leave a cash tip. The only time I go lower than 10% is when I do a carry out order and am given the option of a tip, and then I will usually give 5%.
Now I am generally a good judge of character and very attentive. I can tell the difference between a server who is stressed out by having to serve 10 tables at once, and a server who is just pure lazy. I can generally tell the difference between a server who has a had day but is trying (even if unsuccessfully) to not let it affect their work, and the server who has given up caring. I also know the difference between a bad server and a bad kitchen staff. For Christians, and especially ministers/elders/deacons/leaders/ect, I dont understand why they as a whole dont have similar insights. And I certainly hope they dont treat their own congregations like that. It’s sad though, even if those ministers treat their congregation well…If they can tell when a member is upset and rush to comfort them…they are oblivious to their servers who are having a bad day because their mother just died and they were forced to work. And then this “Christian” offers a 1 dollar tip and a track. Yea, that will make them feel better! Yea that will make them want to go to a church!
Also keep in mind that in many restaurants, the servers have to split their tips with the busboys. So not only are they already counting on tips to get their pay, they have to sacrifice some of that to someone who only cleans the tables and does little with customer interaction.
From listening to my son, your tipping system would tend to make a pretty popular restaurant patron.
Let me add that on at least one occasion that I can remember, my father made it a point to tell the server and the manager, that the server was great and helpful and got a big tip because of that, but that we would not go back because of how poor everything else was. I was a little young back then, but I seem to remember the server being “just a bit” embarrassed.
What about giving tips; like….say…. “Dont spit into the wind.” or, “If you wanna get water, then you gotta prime the pump.” Or, “You cant make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.” Or, “a guilty dog barks the loudest.” or, “when you throw a rock into a pig pen, the pig that gets hit screams the loudest.” What about leaving the waiter/waitress with those good tips? Would that be better than money?
David 🙂
Vol,
Those are the kind of tips that the next time you come in, they spit in your B-B-Q. 🙂
CB,
I know how that works, Brother. I worked at Pizza Hut for a few years, and I also worked at DQ for a while. You do not…I repeat…you do not want to make your waitress mad at you.
I’ve seen things.
David
🙂
I shoulda banned you long ago!!!!
lol, Dave…I’m sure that there’s some people, who really wish you would. BUT, please be nice to the waiter/waitress, or what CB just said above, or worse, could happen to your food. I mean, at least be nice until you’re through eating…and, if you get nasty after that, I wouldnt go back there!!!!
David
🙂
In the US, the rate of pay to table servers is permitted to be significantly under the minimum wage under the assumption that the tip will meet or exceed minimum wage. Some restaurants share the tip among all employees and systematically underpay everyone with the expectation that the tip will top them up to at least minimum wage.
The price you pay at one of those restaurants therefore does not include sufficient pay for the servers (and potentially other staff) to take care of them. Your willingness to go to one of those restaurants imposes an obligation on you to figure out what is a fair payment for that service and to pay it as a TIP.
If you don’t like that bargain, then go to McDonald’s instead. Or do the research to find out which restaurants adequately compensate their staff without a tip. Note that traditionally this pattern is NOT used around the world. Specifically, most of Europe traditionally does not incorporate the expectation of a tip into the compensation of wait staff.
So the minimum would be to adequately tip in order to provide a minimal salary that is roughly equivalent of minimum wage. And as Christians if we were to merely expect that from God, we have to wonder if we would receive adequate love to provide salvation. But I think we all realize that God loves us not with an eye to maintain our poverty but in order to enrich us spiritually. Perhaps our tipping should do the same: love extravagantly?
I’d add this: shouldn’t you have a reputation when you go to a restaurant that everyone remembers your generosity? I know we want to somehow balance this based on the service we receive, but what if we instead balanced it on how we’re remembered?
Disclaimer: I delivered pizza in my last year of college and I decided that the tip was something I would treat as a serendipitous extra gift from God to me that I might be able to earn, but never deserved. So I gave every customer the best service I was capable of giving without expecting them to notice, but counting that my Father in heaven did notice and would reward, though not necessarily in a countable currency.
Afriend of mine shared this on Facebook and I saw this comment by a young lady who works as a server.
“Seeing a table pray before their meal is pretty much the kiss of death for your tip.”
When my daughter was a server in high school, the Sunday lunch crowd was her least favorite. Bad tippers (lots of tracts though) and bad attitudes. I told her they either sat through a bad service or were being convicted by the Lord. I also told her not to judge Christians by those who go out to eat after church on Sunday. See how they are during the week.
Be careful when preaching on tipping guys. A mega church pastor I know preached on tipping well and advised his mega congregation to forgo ordering soft drinks, coffee, etc in order to leave a decent tip.
Not long after that sermon he received a letter from several rest. owners who attended that church that he was going to put them out of business if people followed his advice. They even included their profit margins on drinks and the yearly revenue! :o)
A lousy waiter/waitress gets %15 from me, but I usually average %20 or so.
At inexpensive places or for small orders, I’ll usually tag on extra just because the bill is so low. On the other hand, my wife and I have a favorite restaurant that we save up for and eat at once every few years or so for our anniversary. They add the %15 to the bill regardless. Given that a 15% tip there is about the same as a full meal most other places, I don’t worry about putting any extra in the waiter’s hands.
When I was a child, my parents argued over Dad’s generous tipping. Dad would drink too much and leave an extravagant tip in order to impress the servers. (They loved him!) Mom chided him for acting like a “big shot” while she was scrounging for change in order to make ends meet. (We were not rich.) After my dad became a Christian, he didn’t tip as generously (never below 15%, however) because he had different priorities. Honestly, after we came to Christ, we didn’t eat out very much and most often at fast food restaurants. I’d take the redeemed Dad over the more generous tipping Dad any day.
Some of the comments here seem to be driven (perhaps because of personal experiences) more by anger toward church people who tip less generously than by concern to demonstrate grace and generosity toward servers.
I suppose we could say that Christians should never eat out if they are not prepared to tip 20% or more (for the sake of the gospel, of course). I wonder how many waiters would agree with that sentiment (I’m not asking this hypothetically; I really do wonder.)
Greed is alive and well, both in lousy tippers and in those who complain about them. Generosity is rare. Let’s express grace both in our generosity and in our patience with those who may not have the means to be the “big shots.”
One more thing: I said that generosity is rare yet I have known many extraordinarily generous people, rich and poor. On the whole, may Dad was a far more generous man after he came to Christ than before, albeit with different priorities. Thanks for the opportunity to share.
John, good points.
You mentioned whether waiters would agree that Christians shouldn’t eat out if they are prepared to tip 20% or more. My wife was a waitress before we got together and I often ask her input when leaving a tip. Extravagant tips are always welcome, but %15 is more than most people tip and 20% is enough the make any waiter or waitress really feel appreciated.
Thanks, Jim.
If proper tipping is difficult to do then go to your Sunday paper and get a coupon. IHOP had an offer that was good through the end of January with a coupon. Either $5 off or buy-one-get-one free entree. This is the most frugal way to tip a little more. Please don’t leave the coupon as a tip (I had to say it for the sake of some). Also, lingering when it is busy diminishes the 20% tip. You are not renting the booth for the 15% or 20% tip.
Christian are the worst tippers by far. I worked at the ‘bees for 7 years (wait staff and manager) to get me and my wife through college, and I was often one of the few evangelicals on staff of 60-70 people. Many days I hung my head in shame at what was said or done to my co-workers “in the name of Christ.”
My favorite response from a snooty, middle-class Christian lady was directed to me. She was in a lunch party of about 15 women and the gratuity was automatically added at 15%. She threw a fit, and said, “Why should I give you 15% when I only give the Lord 10%?”
I stopped and said, “I’m so thankful that you had me for your server today because almost everyone here I work with is lost.”
Christians, if you are too cheap to tip 15%, eat a sandwich at home or come in on a Tuesday night.
“Christians, if you are too cheap to tip 15%, eat a sandwich at home or come in on a Tuesday night.”
Bravo Jon. Bravo.
Oh ! Bravo Jon ! – Bravo ! Because if there is no tip they will “hockey” in your coffee – count on it.
It is amazing to me that this is so widely and universally admitted by thase who serve as waiters.
I had to take a job for a time as a server/trainer right after my wife and I got married.
I found Sunday mornings to be the worst shift of the week.
For one, I grew tired of being witnessed to each week and if I mentioned that I was already an ordained minister, then I was summarily judged for not being at Sunday morning services rather than being praised for trying to support my new wife with a job that was far from my desired career field during tough economic times. They never knew that I never missed a Sunday night or that Wednesday nights were my guaranteed night off each week.
I grew tired of my witnessing efforts for the many college kids that I worked with day in and day out being blown up by people coming in from church for lunch on Sunday mornings. One particular incident will always come to my mind which concerned a single mom who was nineteen. She had decided to lose her virginity to her boyfriend on prom night, got pregnant, and lost her full ride to LSU. Now, she was attending a local community college part time and working two jobs just to make ends meet.
She had literally fought off the baby’s sperm donor the night before after he had gotten drunk and decided that his alcoholism and unemployed status made him a superior parent. She came literally having not slept all night after dealing with him, the cops, and a scared infant crying all night. So naturally, she made mistakes while serving her customers. We tried to cover her tables the best we could (keeping drinks full, running food, etc.) but one table slipped through our fingers. She flubbed the table and flubbed it bad. However, rather than politely speaking with the manager (who would have comped the meals because he also knew what was going on) this man stood up to this young woman and declared, “We had been blessed in church this morning and you have just ruined it.”
So what am I supposed to say to this young, unchurched woman?
It would be years before she would be receptive to anything that I, my wife (they had become friends), and some others would say to her.
The positive is that she has come to accept Christ about ten years later.
And pastors, you better pull your youth pastors, leaders, volunteers, and parents aside and make them absolutely aware that the youth group cannot enter a restaurant like a hurricane and effectively represent Christ.
“…I was summarily judged for not being at Sunday morning services…”
This is one reason why some Christians are legitimately labeled hypocritical. You can’t patronize an establishment on Sunday and simultaneously condemn people for working there on a Sunday. If someone doesn’t think people should work on Sunday, they shouldn’t buy gas, go to the store, go to a restaurant, go to the hospital, etc. I think it’s commendable that Chic-fil-a follows a conviction to not open on Sunday, but there’s no Biblical requirement for Christians to follow Jewish Sabbath practices on Sunday. And indeed we at least need some people to work on Sunday regardless… like preachers, law enforcement, emergency and medical personnel, etc.
I guess the blessing wasn’t but so good if bad service ruined it.
“We had been blessed in church this morning and you have just ruined it.”
bill,
That guy was just a liar. Guys like that would not know he had been blessed had he been hit in the head with a 30 pound, thumb-indexed Original Edition Scofield Bible and the ’75 edition of the Baptist Hymnal as a chaser.
Nonetheless, you and your wife were faithful in your witness. May God the Father honor you in “that day.”
My wife and I went to Nashville to visit a church member in the hospital. We ate lunch at Logan’s. When it came time to pay my bill, I told my wife about this blog post. lol. It made me tip more, as I put the tip in a Gospel tract!!!
David 🙂
I took the family out this evening to celebrate our oldest son’s birthday. As we prepared to pray prior to eating, my wife asked, “You planning on leaving a good tip? I mean, we’re about to pray….”
Excellent!
I am sure the tip was good and may your oldest son have many wonderful birthdays with you.
It was my largest tip ever. I’ve always functioned on the 15% rule, so bumping it up above that mark was a real chore. Never heard of any sort of 20% standard. As well, the server was fabulous. We do order water and we split meals, too.
Afterwards we stopped by a couple of stores to look around. My son was messing with everything on the shelves despite my warnings, so I finally blurted out very loudly, “Would you PLEASE stop wetting the bed!” As he was scrambling to cover my mouth, his little sister said just as loudly, “You still wet the bed? Gross.”
And for the record, he’s 14.
Treasure these days my brother. You will turn around one day and he will be 35.
Yep
My wife and I pray before our meal, so we tell our waiter that we are going to pray and ask how we can pray for them. Every time we have done this we have gotten some kind of request. Of course we do pray for these request and we tip well. This has opened to door to some good discussions and very good service. This is a great opportunity to show concern for people who normally are serving people only concerned for themselves (Christians included), and I have even had the opportunity to lead people to Christ.
God bless.