As I write this (Monday May 13) I am wearing a nifty “Send Relief” t-shirt – for the first time. When I received it, the largest size they had was 2xl and I was 3xl and in some shirts even bigger. I am now able to wear the 2xl.
You guys know me. I”m all about the group hugs and never want to be critical. “If you can’t say something nice” Dave. But something happened to me last year at the Annual Meeting that must be addressed – an issue of discrimination against Corpulent Baptists.
When I go to the Annual Meeting, I’m all about the free stuff at the display area. One year, I decided to see how many pens I could collect. As you read this I will be in Senegal, Lord willing, and I am taking several dozen pens left over from that haul (which was 7 or 8 years ago). Last year, I went from booth to booth for the free t-shirts they were giving out and I heard the same thing over and over again.
Sorry, all we have left is medium and large.
Medium and Large? Yeah. I wore those in high school.
This HAS to be a conspiracy to deprive corpulent Baptists of free stuff. C’mon, booth space occupiers. You have been to annual meetings before. We Baptists are a bruising bunch. Even when I was at my heaviest, pushing 375, I was never the biggest Baptist on the block.
- Sorry, Dr. Allen, you are not “For the Church” if you don’t stock 3xl and 4xl (and bigger) t-shirts in adequate amounts!
- Rev Dr. Ezell, does your “Send Network” only send guys in skinny jeans?
- Colleges, I know you usually get the kids before they look like us, but if you want our sympathies, you need to stock freebies for fatties as well as for those fit as a fiddle.
My next post will be about the gigantic conspiracy that has arisen in recent years to deny me a fair chance in any of the iPad and other technology giveaways. I’ve signed up faithfully every year for these things and have yet to win a thing. That cannot be an accident. Someone is out to get me. And, not to complain, of course, because I wouldn’t do that, but even when I do get a t-shirt, they are often made for people 5’5″ and not people 6’4″ – no one wants me wearing a belly shirt.
Why do they hate me?
But back to the serious issue of discrimination against big-boned Baptists. I can understand Guidestone being a bit discriminatory. It is to their financial advantage to trim us down. But have you giveaway givers ever actually LOOKED at the people walking by your booths? If you show up with a normal split of shirts you are going to run out of anything bigger than XL by Tuesday lunch.
Just like last year. And the year before.
I am trying to lose my membership in the Association of Corpulent Baptists. I hope that by the 2020 Annual Meeting I will no longer be a member. But I still speak out for this persecuted minority, discriminated against in heinous ways at the Exhibitors booths of the Southern Baptist Convention.
This must stop.
(I plan to be out of the country when this drops, so neither Dr. Allen nor Kevin Ezell can find me to complain.)
