(Editor’s Note: I saw this post at Anthony Russo’s blog, “Throw Away Everything”, and thought it was something the readers of SBC Voices might enjoy. Things can get pretty heavy here and a little levity can relieve the tension. Enjoy the post. Check out Anthony’s blog. It is well worth reading or putting in your feed.)
I was dining at the Golden Arches yesterday with the lovely Mrs. when it occurred to me that right before my eyes was a theology lesson on a brown plastic tray.“Honey,” I began, “John Calvin would eat here.”
“What?” she said, fully aware that I had been dangerously left to think on my own again.
“…John Piper would eat here too.”
“What are you talking about?” (A question and look from her with which I am very familiar.)
“Actually, so would John MacArthur…but not A.W. Tozer and certainly not John Wesley.” Then I upped the ante on my thesis: “I think those guys would go to Burger King.” With her usual blue-eyed gaze of love and pity, Mrs. Russo just looked at me, smiled, took another bite of her double-cheeseburger, and waited for my explanation. (She knows me so well!) Here’s what I told her:
McDonald’s has “Chicken Selects”. That’s right…foreordained poultry parts. No respectable Arminian worth his or her sodium would eat Chicken Selects, I mean, c’mon…”elect” is right in the name! Ronald McDonald may be a clown, but if my powers of exegesis are correct–and I’m .099% sure they are–he has Calvinist leanings. By the way…McD’s signature sandwich? …The Big (Johnny) Mac.
Burger King, on the Arminian hand, is the free-willing fast-food kingdom where you can “Have It Your Way!” You wouldn’t find that happy attitude at the land of the Happy Meal. Indeed, the Burger King himself declared that special orders don’t upset his loyal subjects working the counter or the drive-thru.
So you may be wondering where Arby’s, Chick-fil-A, and the rest fit into the fast-food theological spectrum. I haven’t quite worked that out, but feel free to share your thoughts.