There are only two reasons to use an apostrophe – a contracted word or a possessive noun. You don’t need to use one any other time. Please stop.
The “overuse” of “quotation marks” is both “rampant” and “annoying.”
There is no such word as irregardless.
Their, there, and they’re are three different words. Learn the difference. Same principle applies with to, too and two.
Internet abbreviations (lol, etc) are as onerous as emoticons.
The last book of the Bible is the Revelation-singular. One revelation of Jesus Christ, not many little Revelations.
The word went should generally not be used with the words has or have. I went. I have gone. I have went is improper.
I’m at my state convention meeting so it is possible I am a little grumpy.
As an old fogey, I am convinced grammar matters. As the internet meme says, “Let’s eat, Grandma,” and “Let’s eat Grandma,” are two very different things.
Having grammar OCD in a libertine world is not easy.
Grammar books and dictionaries don’t define the way our language(s) are used. The way people use the language defines those books. I agree with you on most of these items, but the word irregardless is just that – a word. It’s nonsensical to you and me, but people have used it enough that it is in the dictionary: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/irregardless?s=ts
I was thinking the same thing. Irregardless is not really in my vocabulary but when I read that it wasn’t a word I was surprised. Your point is a scary one. Does that mean when my little sister’s generation (she’s a senior in High School) gets older LOL and such will be in the dictionaries?
Another apocalyptic sign.
Yes, if the word is used enough, it will be added. Check out what was added in 2012: http://www.merriam-webster.com/info/newwords12.htm
That is a sign of the apocalypse
Thanks for reading my book Dave…
Irregardless of that…
The Pessimistic Pewsitter: “I wish our Pastor would forget all of his Greek. I wish he’d forget about going to the Holy Land. I wish he’d stop all that exposure-tory preaching. Why doesnt he just preach about sin? You know, something we can relate to?”
Dat rite der’s funny, I don’t ker who ya are…
(Sorry, Dave…..as opposed to Sorry Dave…)
‘Irregardless’ marks the user’s level of language skill, regardless of its being found in the dictionary.
Picky, picky…
Also, you do not “get married.” You marry. Marry is a verb.
You could say that about many idioms / slang terms. But if it’s in common usage, then people do in fact “get married.”
I like book’s that are written with lot’s of words that you “feel” that you have to out into “quotes.” It makes it more interesting to me. But, irriregardless, I agree with the overall “theme” of your post. Their you have it. Their’s my revelation, just like the book of Revelations. I like quotation’s. So, sue me. Thier’s worse things in life, I’m sure.
Wowley
Their, they’re Dave, “irregardles” of what you might thank, many of the readers of “blogs” or not as educated as u. Since you went to “school”, where u studied english, theology, and books of the Bible; including the book of “Revelations,”you have an advantage. LOL!
P.S. Why would someone want to eat there grandma? You are sick.
Dave, good post
Wow
Dave,
Irregardles’s of what you might say” they are one proper language. that is the way we tolk in the mountains. i cant half understan’d the way you fokes tolk. i”m tared of reeding someting fo orr fi times just to understand’s it.
“I” seen a member, at a nuther church the udder day? he told me “his” precher, preach’ed on sin the udder dday? i ast, “well” wuz he fo it or again hit: bi the way dave if you have fi Bible’s its” Revelation’s.
Having taught sixth grade the better part of twenty years, I can sympathize with DAVID’s grumpiness . . . but after a while, you begin to realize that ‘creative spelling’ is better than nothing at all on the paper, that the occasional misuse of a word can be endearing, and that kids can be shut down quickly by criticisms of detail that stifle the first attempts of their ‘sharing’ on paper.
We all know the story of the teacher who read-lined and corrected the paper of a student that had written down thoughts of suicide after the death of a parent . . .
Communication skills ain’t what they used to be in today’s world . . . texting has its own rules as it was so much easier to type B4 when driving than the word ‘before’ . . . now, of course, most laws prohibit texting while driving.
I break a lot of ‘rules’ when I communicate. There are times when shockingly mangled grammar is called for to make a point. Perhaps that is part of the deal with the LOLCat Bible . . . someone had a thought that writing The Story in that way would draw readers to it that would not think to read a grammatically correct edition. ‘Course the authors of LOLCat crossed the line, but I think they might have actually reached some folks out there in doing it. Especially, when those folks went to the ‘original’ to compare it to the LOLCat version: 🙂
You want correct English? Well, then again, you have to ask ‘for what century’? Language changes with use over time. I give you the spoken and written ‘Our Father’ of a thousand years ago in England:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Wl-OZ3breE
So, ten years from now, when your kid says ‘whaddup, Pop?’ . . .
be gracious. He is reaching out to you with concern in the language of HIS time and world. Reach out to him. In the language of YOUR time and world. It’s OK to communicate with our own voice in this world.
Granted, good grammar is what gets you hired, though.
So teach the way of the corporate world, too, for the sake of the success of our young in a world that asks: ‘Are you one of us’? ‘Do you measure up?’ ‘Do you fit in’?
Standard English gets you hired. Our young needs to know that, way before it hits them on the back of the head.
So, DAVID is right in the end. Teach the basics of good grammar.
Model it. Praise it. And tell the young that it is mandatory to know it and use it in the world of work.
On the OTHER hand: when your kid says ‘whaddup, Pop?’ . . . be gracious, be grateful for his concern, don’t shut him off when he reaches out to you.
Dave,
In a way that is offensive to those of us who have not engineered and perfected the English language to meet the needs of those who have no problem with it. I understand what you mean and how it affects you and those like you. I wish I could say things the way most of the educated do. Some of us have had a difficult time with constructing the english language the most proper way for those of you who are the english elite. This is one thing that I personally struggle with and I wish I had the ability to say things the right way. Believe me, it is something I have desired to be able to do and it just does not come natural or easy to learn for me. My heart goes out to those who struggle in this area. It is something we cannot help. I just wish you guys could understand in your infinite wisdom of the english language so you could be a little more compassionate toward those of us who have that problem. It is like not being able to work on a car or cook a meal or knowing where to fish or being black or anything else that makes us different. I have tried and cannot focus on the proper way of constructing a sentence. Fortunately, I have been mimicking fine folks like you who can write so well to make some of my comments make a little sense. This is a very sensitive area for me and I believe there are others who would have the same feeling.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbSSQe6vsSw
This is a funny piece on grammar!
lol 🙂
Not to mention fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing, and when a building burns down it really burns up, which of course I did mention. And when your alarm goes off, it really goes ON.
I understand your frustration’s Dave. Their isn’t a way some people have saw a English textbook.
I was going to try and post something funny, but I can’t outdo volfann007.
I still remember that [it’s taking every ounce of strength to not put this next word in quotation marks] chitterlings dialogue 007. 🙂
Good post Dave. I need help!
Benji,
Have you eaten any chitlins, yet?
I dont eat chitlins. I would if I was really, really hungry, and there was nothing else to eat. But, chitlins, possum, and greens aint on my list of good foods.
David
Have you eaten any chitlins, yet?
Accidently
Interestingly, many who argue for English to remain the only language officially used in the United States don’t know English very well themselves.
Hi JIM PEMBERTON,
that is my experience . . . reading parent’s notes, actually
One notable exception:
I remember my good friend Karin-from-Germany asking for my help when she was writing a note to her son’s teacher.
Karin had looked up every word she was using in the dictionary to make sure that meaning and spelling were appropriate and correct. She had me read it to see if she had gotten the letter correct,
regarding use of idioms especially.
Karin-from-Germany had written a perfect letter.
It had taken her hours of painstaking trouble. (And her penmanship was exquisitely done, also.)
Thing is: her son observed his mother’s efforts.
He was proud of his mom.
And she was modeling a valuable lesson for her son Andreas
who had his own struggles with being a bi-lingual kid in an American public school.
So for whatever you want tha5 whenit does it’s thing they never get, to come around. And make it to the fare deed when we all see that it all means to much gone. And so fore give the reason its own way around to get them done it.
Following linguistic rules matters.
“Some people will string at a nat and swaller a calmel.’
Dave,
You left out a few very important rules.
FOOTBALL is to always be in uppercase letters.
SOUTH EASTERN CONFERENCE is the only FOOTBALL Conference of which must always be referenced by all uppercase letters.
It is grammatically permissible to use all lower case letters when in reference to any other NCAA FOOTBALL Conference. An example is acc, swc, big 10, and so forth and so on. THe only one to be referenced in all uppercase letters is the SEC. That is a simple rule, so let’s all make an effort to keep it.
The rule is due to the fact that all other FOOTBALL Conferences other than the SEC are known to FOOTBALL Purist as Lesser FOOTBALL Conferences. Therefore, it is grammatically improper to try to make them appear more than they are. The Lesser Conferences are just above Little League FOOTBALL and should be referenced as such. Proper English grammar and Sports Fan ethics demand it.
And last, but certainly not least, it is always improper to reference the SABANATION in anything other way than using all uppercase letters. Only the most ignorant, unlearned, poorly-bred, and culturally inferior of English speaking people would use any lowercase letters when in reference to the SABANATION.
The same rule applies to ROLL TIDE ROLL. And it is proper to add three explanation marks (!!!) after ROLL TIDE ROLL. It must always be:
ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!
I hope this helps all of you Sports Fans out there in the Baptist Blog World. BTW, the SWAMP-LIZARD NATION will die in the Swamp tonight and all you FOOTBALL Fans know why, right?
Can you hear it?
I Can!!
It is ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!
I still prefer rolling Clorox. It’s much easier.
I’m LOL-ing…….
😉 😉
I hope your watching a “good” game, CB.
Like Oregon and USC. After tonight the BCS (read that “SEC loving”) computers might get their facts straight and put Oregon back where it belongs.
Geaux Tigers!
Looks like a Big 12 team will be number 1 after tonight
Never mind
While we’re on the topic of common mistakes, I never cease to be amazed at how many otherwise good writers write “loose” instead of “lose,” and “tenant” instead of “tenet.”
The point is mute!
AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
It’s MOOT!
Yeah, I hate that one. I wish everyone who says that a point is mute would be struck mute for several hours (all in Christian love, of course).
Mute = What happens to FOOTBALL NATIONS who enter the same stadium with the SABANATION. They go mute.
Moot = What trying to determine the outcome of a FOOTBALL game between the SABANATION and any other FOOTBALL NATION. It is a moot point. The SABANATION always wins.
Well said and timely.
I’m surprised Dave gives the word “meme” such an easy pass.
While we’re on good grammar….yall is spelled “yall.” And, it can be used for 1 person, 2 people, or more. For example: “Did yall get a Dorito taco at the Taco Bell?” (speaking to 2 people). Also, “Did yall take the clothes to the cleaners?” (speaking to 3 people). Or, “When that mule kicked the fence open, did yall get out of the way?” (speaking to 5 people).
Also, aint is a negative. “I aint got any of those cupcakes.” Or, “Homie aint playin’ that game, boy.”
Do yall need any other good, grammar lessons? Just ask, and I’ll try to help yall out. I aint bashful.
David
Nope. “Y’all” is a contraction requiring an apostrophe.
As a schoolboy in Ohio I was taught that “y’all” was as incorrect as “ain’t”. We moved to the South during my fifth grade year. The first day in my new school I walked into English class and sat at the last remaining desk in the back of the room. The teacher began the class thus:
“I’m going to write a sentence on the board. Let’s see who can be the first to tell me what’s wrong with it.”
She began to write and started with “Ya’ll…” (Yes, the apostrophe was after the “a.”) At that point I raised my hand. My problem is that that wasn’t what she had in mind as the problem. It ended up being a Subject-verb plural agreement issue or something like that. I realized I had much to learn about understanding Southerners.
Next to me sat a pretty little blonde-headed girl in a frilly dress. She leaned over to me and asked, “Kin ah borry yore pin?”
I replied, “I don’t have a pin.”
She said, “Silly, it’s that thang yure holdin’.”
“Oh!” I replied, “My pen.”
“That’s rot,” she said. “Daddy always says, ‘Don’t buy a pig in a poke.'”
Thinking a jab at someone didn’t make sense in that comment, I asked, “What’s a poke?”
Smiling, she said, “It’s a bayg, silly, like a grocery sayck.”
A little while later a tick came crawling on the floor in front of my desk toward the pretty little blonde-headed girl. Having never seen a tick, I thought it was a spider. I thought I would demonstrate my fearless prowess and step on it. I was astonished when it started crawling again so I got up and stepped on it again grinding it under my shoe a bit. I was alarmed when it started to crawl again.
Nonchalantly, the pretty little blonde-headed girl in the frilly dress said, “It’s a tick, silly. Yew cain’t squeesh it, yew gotta poke it with a pin.”
I thought to myself, “I definitely have a lot to learn about Southern English.”
True story.
Jim,
I believe you. I have lived that one many, many days of my life. lol. Have you ever learned to speak real English….errr…I mean, Southern English?
Dale, if “yall” had an apostrophe, then it would be “y’all” since it’s a contraction of “YOU ALL.” So, obviously a bunch of Yankees wrote the dictionary that you’re a readin.’
David
David–Look again. That’s what I wrote–“y’all”. I don’t read the dictionary. I don’t need to. I’m right. 🙂
By the way–there is the Southern double plural. “All y’all”. Usually reserved for groups of 5 or more. “Are all y’all goin’ down to the Dairy Queen after church tonight?”
Dale,
That is true. “All yall” is for large groups….or, it could be for your Momma and your wife and daughter going shopping. You know, “Are all yall gonna go shopping today?”
David 🙂
Y’all is a contraction, and is typically for 2-4. All y’all is for large groups.
My college Greek teacher was from Denmark. Danish, apparently, has a plural “you” like Greek does. He was lamenting how English lacked that until we Arkansas boys started turning in homework with “Y’all” for the plural second person pronoun. He almost did not know how to respond.
…and when did “freshly” become an adverb? Freshly baked bread is sort of like a greenly painted wall.
Well Sports Fans, what can I say?
Oh Yeah, I know.
ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!
When, oh when will this evil empire be destroyed? When will someone come running out of history, and rise up to destroy this dark place called Crimson Tide? When will we ever have a Luke Skywalker, or a Frodo, who will destroy the forces of evil?
When? When? When?
David
I guess you guys are on track for another National Championship. Please, beat the stuffing out of Notre Dame if it comes to that.
Oh, and don’t forget to schedule the Kansas City Chiefs as one of your pre-conference easy games next year.
But someday, when the motorcycles are gone and the clouds part, the Hog will rise. And probably come in 2nd in the SEC West.
The ONLY reason Alabama pulled that one out is because LSU fell apart in the 4th quarter. You have it easy from here on out. I’m hoping that TX A&M will be the spoiler in all of this since they’re the only strong team Alabama has left on it’s schedule, whereas other teams (Oregon) have a backloaded schedule that should propel them into their proper position at the top of the polls.
We shall see, my friend. We shall see.
Bama will still have either Florida or Georgia left in the SEC Championship game. That should be a challenge for them.
I heard the end of last night on the radio–you could hear the crowd die in the closing minutes.
“The ONLY reason Alabama pulled that one out is because LSU fell apart in the 4th quarter.”
Dale Pugh,
Let me help you to understand what really happened. The reason the game went as it did is because Alabama had “fallen apart” in the first quarter and did not regain its composure until the last two minutes of the game.
The reason Alabama fell apart in the first quarter is because the LSU QB came to play FOOTBALL and the ALABAMA QB was still reading his press clippings about how great he is right up to Kick-off time.
The LSU QB played FOOTBALL for four quarters and the ALABAMA QB played FOOTBALL for two minutes.
And in the end, as the great theologian, Bruce Springsteen wrote inn one of his famous theological works, The SANANATION is “Tougher Than The Rest.”
ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!
Ah. Well, that certainly puts it into it’s proper perspective, CB. I’m LOL-ing again……
See you at the National Championship–if Alabama makes it there without imploding.
Dale Pugh,
I am always glad to be of help to those who live in or cheer for FOOTBALL NATIONS from Lesser Conferences.
I feel that it is my moral duty as a native son of the SEC and as a card carrying member of the SABANATION to give a helping hand and to educate guys like you, and that poor ole BUZZARD-EYE Fan, Dave Miller, when it comes to FOOTBALL…or Baseball.
Call on me anytime, Dale Pugh. With all the humility, patience, understanding, and forebearing in my Sabanite heart, I will do my best to help you.
Until I see consistent proof that Baptist preachers actually learn what “In conclusion” really means, I’m not taking any other linguistic guidance from them.
This means you, irregardless of whether or not your book-learnin’ exceeds mine.
And since irregardless isn’t underlined with red squiggles, it must be a word.
The SBC Voices commenting family is a bunch of incorrigible louts.
The striking contributors are even worse 🙂
And yet Dave keeps incorriging us further…
that’s because we’re incorrig-able, GREG
We’re just trying to fit in with our host.
A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at random.
“Why?” asks the confused waiter amidst the chaos as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
“Well, I’m a panda,” he says, at the door. “Look it up.”
The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. “Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”
Now that’s “funny”.
David,
I did learn Southernese. I’ve been in the South now far longer than I ever was in the North and speak it as naturally. Even still, I can switch back to my native Midwest.
Ah! Words! They got me a lot of good grades in life. I made an “A” in composition by citing a multitude of authors who contradicted every thing the teacher had to say. He liked the paper so much, he gave me an “a” and read it to the class. Every rule in English is up for grabs; it stand to be contradicted, not once, but many times. Southernese was and is a reflection of the KJV English. You all have a nice day.
I didn’t realize that our host was a member of the Apostrophic Jihad.
Grammar? What Grammar? I have never seen the slightest reflection in your corruptible comments of any concern for grammar. Only these little biitty, short comments, of ten without predicates or subjects or any clauses, dependent or independent or otherwise dominate. There are no long, Pauline sentences of rotund oratory and grammatical grandeur that titillate the senses with stirring images of triumphal, triumphing, trumpeted trumps trampling turgid thoughts trying tested theories.
brilliant alliteration, Dr. WILLINGHAM
Christiane, you may thank the Lord for the examples of Dr. Robert G. Lee and Dr. Ernest R. Campbell. The former was a famed practitioner of the art, and the latter was no mean follower of Dr. Lee. Have a great, glorious, glad day.
🙂