NOTE: I have just released a book which compiles (and edits and expands) these posts. It is called “Disqualified? What the Bible Says about Divorce, Remarriage and Ministry.” It is available on Amazon.com. The Kindle version will be released in the next couple of days – not sure what the hold-up is there. This book reviews the biblical evidence on divorce and remarriage, beginning with the cornerstone in the Old Testament – the twin principles of God’s intent of marriage as a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman and the understanding of the brokenness caused by sin. It then lays the foundation with an examination of the passage in Deuteronomy 14:1-4 which necessitates a “grounds” for divorce. Jesus builds the structure in his teachings, reiterating the intent of God’s creation – lifelong covenant – but also establishing the divorce exception as a grounds for divorce. Then Paul puts the finishing touches on the structure with his extensive teachings in 1 Corinthians 7, adding abandonment as a second grounds and dealing with other significant issues. I also address the issue of abuse and how that should be handled. Having surveyed the biblical evidence, I then turn my attention to 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1, examining what the phrase, “Husband of one wife” means, and give advice both to the divorced who want to serve in the church and to churches dealing with this issue.
If you are reading these posts, I think you will find the book “Disqualified?” helpful.
There is both remarkable consistency and a clear progression in the biblical teaching on divorce. Moses, in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 laid a foundation which Jesus built on in his teaching, presented in Matthew (19:3-12), Mark (10:2-12) and Luke (16:18) . Then, Paul put the finishing touches on that teaching, developing it to its most complete treatment in 1 Corinthians 7. There is a core set of principles that weave through and are developed in these passages.
The ultimate purpose of this study is to deal with the question of whether me who have been divorced are disqualified from positions of service such as pastor, elder or deacon. Before that subject is explored, though, a full understanding of the biblical teaching is necessary, which is why the passages mentioned above were dealt with in such detail.
So, before we get to the thorny issue of divorce, remarriage and ministry, it would be helpful to review the basic principles that have been set forth to this point
1. God intended marriage to be a lifelong covenant. This was the divine ideal from the beginning of time, clear from the Creation accounts in Genesis. God created us male and female and designed us to share a life together – one man and one woman commitment in a lifelong covenant, which would provide pleasure, blessing and companionship from both. Divorce was never part of God’s pre-fall plan and it should not be viewed as an easy option when a marriage gets tough.
The divine ideal had been almost completely abandoned in Hebrew culture to which God gave the law. Gone was the ideal of a mutually beneficial marriage relationship, replaced by a patriarchy that went well beyond what God intended and permitted men to seek divorce on a whim. Moses raised that bar. Jesus reinstituted the highest ideal of marriage – a lifelong covenant. Though he permitted the divorce exception, Jesus made it absolutely clear God had never wavered from the design of creation. Paul may have added another exception under which divorce was permissible, but he also clearly taught the concept of partnership, even giving women rights that had previously been reserved for men only.
The divorce pendulum has certainly swung in the American church. Once, people who had been divorced found themselves treated as outcasts, ostracized from not only leadership but often from full fellowship in the church. Today, many churches have basically relaxed all standards. A type of serial monogamy has been sanctified under loose views of marriage and divorce. Those who would be biblical in their treatment of this subject must never compromise on this foundational truth. God intends for marriage to be permanent. Even in extreme circumstances, it is always to the greater glory of God to seek healing and restoration rather than divorce.
2. God makes allowance for human sinfulness. Sin has done many terrible things to this world. Among the worst is the degrading effect it has had on relationships and marriages. God intended for marriage to be a covenant relationship between a man and his wife which was a blessing to both. While lifelong marriage was God’s intent and is still his desire, the effects of sin sometimes render that ideal impossible. Lifelong marriage is the divine ideal; divorce is a reality foisted on the world by human sin.
Divorce is not commanded by God today, and it is always better to seek to heal the marriage than to end it. But divorce is permitted in certain circumstances when one partner has broken the marriage covenant.
3. The New Testament specifies two grounds for divorce. Divorce is permissible in the New Testament for two reasons. Moses tightened the standards of his culture by requiring that men have some grounds for divorce and give their wives an official certificate. Jesus raised the bar when he declared that there is only one ground for divorce. Paul added another exception; similar in nature to the one Jesus gave but based on a circumstance that did not exist among Jesus’ hearers.
First, Jesus allowed divorce on the grounds of sexual immorality. Unless the divorce took place on this ground, the divorce was not divinely approved and remarriage would be an act of immorality. Then, Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, established another exception – abandonment. He allowed divorce when an unbelieving spouse abandons the believer. In this case, the believer is not bound to the marriage covenant and is free to remarry a Christian.
The exceptions actually prove the sanctity and importance of marriage. A husband and wife join together in a covenant before God. The covenant is based on promises and commitments made by both parties to the covenant. Husband and wife agree to be absolutely faithful to one another and to reject all sexual immorality. And they become one flesh, joined together not only physically, but emotionally, psychically, and spiritually. When one member breaks this covenant by a lifestyle of unrepentant sexual immorality or by abandoning his or her spouse, this breaks this holy bond. It is no small sin to break the bond of marriage, but God recognizes that when one partner voids the covenant, the other is released from it.
4. The Grounds for Separation – Paul, in recognition of the authority the husband has in the marriage, and the tendency of some husbands to abuse that authority, gives to the believing wife the right separate from her husband and live as a single woman or to seek reconciliation with her husband (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). Women who separate from their husbands on the grounds that he is impossible to live with, that he is abusive of his authority or that he treats her unkindly, have no right to remarry. This same right is not granted to a husband, who has the authority and responsibility to demonstrate the proactive love of God and lead his home in the right ways.
5. There is a distinction made between divorce and separation. Paul, in the 1 Corinthians 7 passage just mentioned, makes an important distinction. Divorce, permitted on the grounds of abandonment (and adultery under Jesus’ teaching) is the end of a marriage. When the marriage covenant is broken by one party, the marriage is ended as completely as if the offending spouse had died. The innocent party, the one who did not abandon the spouse or commit adultery, is freed from that marriage and may remarry. Separation, permitted to women if living under the authority of the husband became unbearable, does not have the same effect. Separation suspends the marriage, but does not end it and remarriage, under those circumstances, is not permitted. Paul recognizes that separation may be necessary for a time to restore the marriage, but the marriage is by no means over.
6. We must remember the redemptive power of Christ in dealing with the divorced. The Bible is all about God’s redemptive work in Christ, taking sinners deserving of hell and making them fit for heaven by the Blood of the Cross. That includes the divorced. Those who have been divorced and repent of whatever sin they committed in that divorce are fully restored to fellowship in the church. We assume the role of the Pharisees and Sadducees when we make divorced persons feel unwelcome in our fellowship, or somehow imply to them that they are of a secondary status in the fellowship.
But the question of whether divorced men are fit for leadership in the church must be established by biblical teachings. Sometimes there are consequences to sin that survive even the repentance for that sin. King David is certainly an example of this. I believe in the redemptive power of Christ, but that, in and of itself, does not settle the issue of ministry.
7. The church must balance two competing truths in handling the divorce issue. We must be careful never to compromise the biblical ideal or forget that it is God’s desire that every marriage last a lifetime. We must also avoid the tendency to add to the Bible’s commands, making them harsher than God himself makes them. This was Satan’s tactic in the Garden of Eden, and this attitude, often thought heroically faithful and uncompromising, is not pleasing to God. We must neither compromise biblical principles nor enforce that which is not biblical.
Now, having set forth what I believe is the Bible’s teaching on this subject, we can begin to look at the specific question, “Can a divorced man be a pastor, elder or deacon?”
Previous Installments
Part 1 of this series “Divorce, Remarriage and Ministry: What Does the Bible Say?” introduces the topic and sets forth three different approaches to the topic.
Part 2 of the series, “Divorce, Remarriage and Ministry: The OT Foundation: Does God Hate All Divorce?”, examines several OT passages that set the foundation of the biblical teaching. It especially examines the Malachi passage that has been interpreted as a general statement, “God hates divorce.”
Part 3 focuses specifically on Deuteronomy 24:1-4, the key OT passage on the subject. “Divorce, Remarriage and Ministry: Deuteronomy 24:1-4 – Establishing Grounds for Divorce.“
Part 4 focuses on the teachings of Jesus on the subject. “Divorce, Remarriage and Ministry: What Did Jesus Say?”
Part 5 examines Paul’s teachings on the subject and lays the groundwork for the study of 1 Corinthians 7, the pinnacle of biblical teaching on the subject of divorce and remarriage. It especially examines the question of whether Paul’s teachings in 1 Corinthians 7 were just Paul’s opinion or were they inspired scripture. “Divorce, Remarriage and Ministry: Were Paul’s Views Scripture or Opinion?”
Part 6 examines 1 Corinthians 7:10-24, a post entitled, “Divorce, Remarriage and Ministry: Paul’s Groundbreaking Teaching.“
One thing on this that I have never understood…why is it assumed that, just because Paul says that “You are not under bondage, God has called you to peace” (in cases of abandonment) that, that automatically equals a right to remarry? It seems to me that, given the context, the clearer reading would be that you can “let them go.” Meaning, if they abandon you, don’t blame yourself, and don’t waste your life chasing after them. But, why does that mean divorce? Why does it mean re-marriage? It seems to me that, given the intimate parallels of marriage to God’s… Read more »
Dave, Thanks for the post. Below, I have posted a link to an excellent paper on this subject by John Piper. Below that link is a work by Tom Elliff. They are not identical, but similar. http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/articles/divorce-remarriage-a-position-paper Divine Viewpoint Regarding Divorce (Tom Elliff) 1. Divorce literally means, “to put away.” When the Pharisees intended to trap Jesus with the Mosaic Law regarding divorce, He indicated that marriage, not divorce, was God’s plan from the beginning. “He said unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts permitted you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was… Read more »
Divorce is divorce. Our church uses deacons and yoke fellows (divorced or other wise.) We need to keep the leadership as pure as possible. I am divorced and will not push service off as if it is okay to divorce. We need to determine that purity is the best way to go.
Dave:
Thanks for this posts. It’s heart-breaking that a blog series such as this is even necessary for the church, but, unfortunately, it’s a reality of our time. It’s encouraging to see pastors thinking through these issues and being equipped to provide love, support, and biblical truth when these situations do arise.
7. The church must balance two competing truths in handling the divorce issue. I believe this statement is the core problem: that anyone could perceive that there is a possibility of “competing truths” in scripture… well to quote Vasili: “It’s inconceivable!” There is no competition or conflict here. What really exists is the difference between exegesis and isogesis. When we quite reading into scripture our preconceived notions then we can see scripture can only be complementary to itself. In 1 Timothy and Titus, Paul uses the phrase ???? ???????? ????? the most straight forward translation is “husband of a woman.”… Read more »
Rats, it doesn’t show the Greek…. bummer.
I had that problem once as well–the question marks replace the other language.
For me, that’s highly appropriate if someone tries to type in Hebrew. All I see is “HUH?”
One of the facts that I find in life is that people who have experienced a divorce, regardless of the right or wrong of it, admit that they hate divorce. I know I do. But I hated it from childhood and resolved that what had happened to me at the age of 3 would never happen to my children (the divorce of my parents cost me both parents for 11 years). Talk about a miserable feeling. Try being a child who loses both parents due to divorce. Regardless of my resolve, my children did suffer from divorce. It takes two… Read more »
I would agree with this post, but I would like to add a third allowance for divorce. Physical abuse. There are cases where the husband never sleeps with another woman (ie commits adultery), but regularly beats his wife. I believe, that in such cases, divorce is more than reasonable. And if the woman chooses to remarry, that is perfectly fine and is NOT adultery. There are times, and cases where the husband will seek and get help, where the wife will take him back, and he never will hit her again. But that is rare. And condemning a woman to… Read more »
I am reluctant to add an exception that the Bible doesn’t add. Beating one’s wife is despicable, but it is not listed as a grounds for divorce in the Bible, regardless of your anger over the issue. We do not do theology based on your emotions, but on exegesis. To add a third exception because you feel emotional about it is not sound. I think that physical abuse falls under the separation exception. A woman who is abused has every right to separate from her husband, but as I read scripture, she does not have the right to end the… Read more »
Smuschany, You stated, ” and I am not very good at controlling my temper when it comes to this issue.” That is a RED flag. I know many have strong feelings about a woman being beaten. I agree and will defend a woman at all cost, however, that emotion has to be under control, even in a beating event or we are unbalanced. I would suggest that you examine yourself in this area so you can better assist the woman and the man. Keep in mind, Satan is controlling the man the same way the man is controlling the woman… Read more »
Well Dave, Your emotions will remain blissfully separate from your theology until the day someone you really care about is physically abused and then divorce will look like a remarkably loving and spiritual answer. Remarriage will mysteriously look redemptive and God-honoring shortly there after.
I am also concerned about Bruce’s comment about ‘purity’ being the way to go. I am pure because Jesus blood purifies me. Divorce is a terrible sin but it can not overcome Christ’s blood. If a divorced person can not be pure then what hope do I or any of us have?
AMEN!!!
Strider, Being purified from a sin and being being pure (innocent) of the sin are two different things to me, humanly speaking. Crossing the line in disobedience against a command and repenting is what it is all about, but never crossing the line by being obedient to the command and remaining pure is what it is “really” all about. Our leadership need to be the examples of obedience and the people need to know that. We need to preach and promote obedience to the church. In fact, the first thing we teach our children is obedience and it comes with… Read more »
The problem Bruce is that you are elevating this one sin to an indelible black mark that cannot be erased by Jesus’ grace and mercy. You are professing: once sinned, always sinned. And that is not Gospel truth. Those of us who have been disobedient to God’s command I hate to burst your bubble, but we ALL (we meaning every human who has ever drawn breath) fit this description. And, according to your reasoning, NO ONE should ever occupy “a position like pastor, elder or deacon.” You can’t have it both ways. I’m sorry that your marriage ended in divorce… Read more »
Greg, Thanks for your kind words. I know I have been forgiven and everyday I work at living like I am forgiven. I like your example on the Book of Life, too. I remember my dad telling us not to smoke when I was a kid. Of course, he use to smoke. He told us how he wanted to quit because it affected his testimony and it cost so much (35 cents a pack). He described how that people around him smoked and it was hard to quit. He described how the smoke from a lit cigarette would float to… Read more »
Bruce, You are such an encouragement to me. A year or so after I became a Christian, I was in a church that called a divorced man to the pastorate. The man had, by his own admission, chosen “the ministry” over his wife. She eventually left him, and he re-married. He was totally unrepentant in any part he played in the situation (again, he claimed near blamelessness, publicly.) He was re-married. Even as a new Christian, at the time, I could see that this was a bad idea….even with the little I knew about Scripture, I could see that the… Read more »
Again, Strider, you assume that no one I know or love has been abused. And I would ask you to provide some exegetical support for your contention.
I see that argument all the time. “X makes me angry therefore it couldn’t be biblical.” We need to draw our truth and guidance from God’s Word, not from our emotions or outrage.
Moses wrote about divorce. Jesus wrote about divorce. Paul wrote about divorce. None of them mentioned an abuse exception in their inspired writings.
Did they not care?
Do we have a higher ethical sense than the authors of scripture?
Are we going to say that they just didn’t understand the seriousness of the situation when they wrote under the inspiration of the Spirit?
Do you believe that your ethical sense and your moral outrage is a higher authority than the teachings of scripture?
I have trouble accepting that.
Repent (change your mind). Ask forgiveness for what you are not sorry for? You can’t lie to God and you shouldn’t try, it can have terrible consequences. Believe me when an abused woman finally takes her children and herself out of a terrifying situation she is can’t honestly do either one and probably never will. If you only separate there can be legal consequences (his future debt is still her debt, etc.) she already has enough of a financial responsibility. Which brings me to the church’s responsibility (commanded) to support the widows. Widow (Strong’ #490- Hebrew) = a desolate house… Read more »
Let’s use some common sense here as I think we just took 3 steps back. If a woman is being beaten, to just separate is not going to solve the problem. Divorce is an option and is not the unpardonable sin. If she stays married to this person, he believes in his twisted mind that he still owns her and most likely she will wind up dead. News stories show this. God also gave us a brain and to say no divorce is to go back in time when the woman was told to be a better wife and hang… Read more »
Again, could you support this exegetically?
Dave: The Bible is silent. But common sense is also a gift from God for crying out loud. In Biblical times a man divorced his wife for any little thing and abuse happened then as well.
Show me passages where we can quit our jobs if the stress is too much, or that we should take a vacation once in a while to rest and have fun, or that candy is bad for the teeth. Common sense Dave.
Do you know the percentage of women who have previously followed this advice and been murdered?
“Show me passages where we can quit our jobs if the stress is too much, or that we should take a vacation once in a while to rest and have fun, or that candy is bad for the teeth. Debbie: Neither employment nor dental hygiene are God-ordained, scripturally-limited, life-long covenants. Dave’s point is that the Bible does specifically speak to the boundaries of marriage and divorce, and that he is reticent to go outside of those explicit parameters. To be fair, he has never made the argument that anything not explicitly allowed in scripture is per se prohibited. His position… Read more »
Zack: Look at the question the Pharisees asked and read it in the context of which it was wrtten, asked in First Century context. The Pharisees asked if a man could divorce his wife for any cause? Notice the word any, which I read as in the context of the First century, or can a man divorce his wife for just any ole reason. If a man in the first century was displeased with his wife for any reason, she had grown older, didn’t fix his meal as he wanted, spoke cross to him, etc. he divorced her. To say… Read more »
I don’t think I have one thing to worry about as far as judgment if I am wrong. Christ took my judgment to the cross. No Christian has to be concerned about that because of who we are in Christ. I don’t think I’m wrong, and would rather err on the side of saving someone from being beaten than to tell them not to divorce the abuser who 9 times will continue the abuse, and the woman will never seek outside help again due to this kind of advice. It will continue, it just won’t be made public, it will… Read more »
That’s a cavalier attitude toward sin and a cavalier attitude toward truth. We ought not use the grace of God as an excuse.
The Bible does speak to this in 1 Corinthians 7.
We ought to be bound by God’s word, not emotions or opinions.
The format of this study was inductive Bible examination. I appreciate those who have engaged at a scriptural level. But I would ask those who are simply venting emotions or opinions to either engage at the hermeneutical or exegetical level.
We are discussing what the Bible says about all of this. Please stick to that.
Dave: It’s not using God’s grace, it’s knowing God’s grace and who I am in Christ. Just because I would get this wrong, which I don’t believe I have but I believe you have, I do not fear punishment from God. That is something the unbeliever should fear, not Christians. I have scripture for that in spades, but that is not unfortunately, the topic here. To say that a woman being beat does not have scriptural grounds for divorce and remarriage is just not something you can say and have scriptural backing. IF the woman does divorce and remarry, she… Read more »
And if one does separate the emotion from theology, one does not have the theology of the Bible.
I’ve actually read from some Christian sites that one should avoid abuse by getting to know the one they are going to marry. Problem with that is abusers are very good actors. I know of one woman who did not rush into marriage, dated the guy for a year or more, and he was great. Once she married him however he declared to her that now he had her, she was his. The abuse began until she left and divorced him 13 years later. The sad part is that she had been horribly abused by her father in childhood. How… Read more »
If nothing else, the passages on who we are in Christ, that we are to protect the weak, want justice should suffice. In this case divorce is justice for the weak, the one being abuse and the children in that home who are changed each time their mom is beaten. It changes who they are. It changes the one being abused as well.
Dave, concerning abuse, I think the imago Dei (image of God) argument comes into play. It’s not a cut and dry situation. If an individual is protecting the image of God in herself and/or her children, then I believe she’s free in Christ to divorce.
First Dave, I want to apologize for what I wrote to you as I once again used a comment like a sledge hammer instead of a conversation. My comment was harsh and I don’t like it. Now that that is out of the way I need to engage in the discussion. My first point is that I don’t like the way you are using the Bible here. ‘If a specific exception is not mentioned then it doesn’t exist’ is very inconsistently applied and I don’t believe the Biblical writers intended the Bible to be used this way. But in the… Read more »
I would definitely quibble with this Strider.
1. I do not believe divorce is always sin. Sin causes divorce, but it is not sin if the covenant has been broken. My support for this is in the posts linked to above. Divorce on biblical grounds is not sin, though certainly sin is at the four of what led to it.
2. I strongly disagree about consequences. Yes, the Blood cleansed but consequences remain. My lifelong study of Proverbs leads me to remember that life is choices and choices have consequences.
Jared,
I fail to see how the Imago Dei argument seriously comes into play here. I have never heard it used anywhere else in this way.
You speak as if this is a general concept of theology, but I have never heard the concept used as a reason to get out of a situation.
Ben, we have a responsibility to love our neighbors as ourselves (our children), and to protect the image of God in ourselves (self-defense/civil responsibility). We are members of a heavenly kingdom through Christ, but we are also still members of the civil kingdom on earth. Unless we’re being persecuted for being a Christian, it appears we aren’t required to “turn the other cheek.” I’m not saying that divorce is always the option, but in some cases, I it is. My main point is that there are other factors to consider other than the marriage/divorce passages. There is other Scripture and… Read more »
Jerod, that is true. But in each of those other cases that you mentioned, we have either instruction, or example from Scripture, outside of simple an abstract theological concept.
We have Godly examples of self-defense and civil responsibility in Scripture. We don’t have the same thing here. I just think to extrapolate Imago Dei, without anything else supporting the argument, is probably a step to far.
Ben, would you say that the imago dei argument doesn’t apply to the marriage relationship?
Of course Imago Dei, as a concept, applies to a marriage relationship. It would be hard to find anything involving humanity that it didn’t apply as some level. I just don’t think that I see biblical justification for using it as a catch-all for self-preservation. Again, I don’t actually have issues with divorce in the case of abuse…only re-marriage. So, I think the case can be made, and perhaps even that Imago Dei can be included as part of that case…but using an abstract concept to attempt to counter a more explicit biblical argument can get to in dangerous waters… Read more »
At least, if that is the ONLY part of the argument.
And, regarding abuse…I can see the case for separation, or perhaps divorce….but not for re-marriage. Divorce, in that context, can be a legal instrument for any number of things. But, I do think that re-marriage would be un-Biblical. Debbie, you are making an emotional jump by saying that divorce == justice. I can’t think of any Biblical justification for that. That being said, if divorce is needed to stop the abuse (for example, the abuser is somehow legally exploiting the fact that they are married to continue preying on his wife)…I can see the case of it being needed. I… Read more »
A clear violation of what covenant Ben? The one the man broke by beating his wife? That covenant? I just hope we are not seriously considering these things, because I would hate to go ten and twenty years back in time on this issue. That would be the end of the church age I would hope.
As for your view on remarriage, I would also disagree. I think it’s reading into scripture something that just isn’t there.
Think critically on this, why would Christ allow for divorce in case of adultery which physically is not as bad as beating a woman or emotionally abusing her. So Christ would allow it if one man or woman has sex outside of marriage, but for a beating and a threat to the very life of the woman, possible death, he just allows separation and possibly coming back together? I think that is a total misconception of what Christ was saying.
Ben: Let’s think critically again. Divorce equals justice, man loses family, man loses wife for the act of abuse and it is against the law, so the man is breaking the law, probably is in jail for awhile. Woman is hopefully safe(although even in divorce her husband may come after her and kill her aka OJ Simpson just to name one of millions of cases) but woman can get on with her life, hopefully find a man that will love her in the way he should as Christ loved the church, and raise her children in a normal environment, although… Read more »
Debbie,
Again, I have no issue with divorce…only re-marriage. I think the same thing about divorce after adultery…so to comparison is moot.
So, basically, it is justice because it fits your definition of what you think justice should be?
No Ben, it’s justice because the Bible says it is. Christ did condone divorce in certain situations. Christ treated woman for the first time as human beings, something the Pharisees could never understand nor could certain Jews. He was not doing this for the men Ben, it was for the safety and sake of the women, something unheard of in the First century.
I am speaking of remarriage Ben. It is not a sin to remarry in some instances either. But…as Christians we are free to do what we want to do. We have the Holy Spirit in us. This is just another don’t that should not be a don’t. Not in the case of abuse anymore than in the cases Christ mentioned. Thankfully the churches are changing and actually studying, reading it as it was written instead of “holding up the Bible and saying I am Biblical” as John Reisenger said, they are actually reading it in total. Reading it as it… Read more »
Debby, AGAIN, I agree with you. Divorce is needed in some situations. BUT, it is never for justice, for safety? Yes. For the protection of children? Absolutely. To “get back at them.” Never. Divorce as justice is a parallel found no where in the Bible.
Where did I ever say it was to get back at the person Ben? Is justice getting back at a person, or is justice fair and just punishment?
According to the dictionary, the word justice means a concept of moral rightness based on ethics, rationality, law, natural law, religion, or equity. It is also the act of being just and/or fair
Debbie,
Fine, where in Scripture is divorce as justice discussed?
Really? I understand if people disagree regarding the re-marriage concept….but to say it “isn’t there” it just not true. Have you read the story of Hosea and Gomer? Have you seen the parallels explicitly made between marriage and Christ’s relationship with us? Does he turn away from us forever when we are harlots of the faith? Does he forsake us when we walk away from Him? Again, I understand why people would disagree with me on this (and I can respect a difference of opinion)….but to say the idea is totally absent from Scripture at all is to prove either… Read more »
Ben: If someone is threatening your life, beating you to a pulp, I have high doubt that the story of Hosea and Gomer would apply here. Context Ben.
The Bible is about Christ Ben. The Bible was written to first century Christians and has to be interpreted and read as if it were written to first century Christians.
Debbie,
That is why I provided multiple examples. Hosea and Gomer? No, the eternal, unrevokable relationship of Christ to his Church? Still applies.
And, AGAIN, divorce is NOT what I have a problem with….it is re-marriage.
Also, honestly, you are being very curt and disrespectful. I don’t mind having these conversations….but lets have them like adults.
Debbie,
That is the thing…from my study of Scripture….I don’t think that the covenant CAN be broken by anything but death.
If my wife leaves me, cheats on me, stabs me, shoots me, whatever….I might separate physically, maybe even for a lifetime. But, the primary purpose of my marriage is to exemplify Christ’s relationship with his Church. I’m free to abandon my bride, when he abandons his.
Ben: I believe you are wrong in both your thinking and reading of scripture. But the fact remains that Christ was for justice, I believe divorce from a abusive man is justice, right and not sin. The church so far agrees with me. Thankfully, unless we intend to take 3 steps back when ignorance to the situation gave ignorant advice. Read the Matthew account in the book of Mark as well. Jesus was teaching that marriage did not destroy human rights that God gave us at birth, just because the person married. “Therefore consider the members of your earthly body… Read more »
Debbie, this is getting humorous, you CONTINUE to accuse me of something I didn’t say: I NEVER said that divorce was not right in those situations.
The remarriage situation…I’m fine with you disagreeing with me…there is no conflict between a justice-loving Christ and singleness.
We can continue discussing this when provide a reference from Scripture (specific…anyone can say “Jesus agrees with me”…prove it.) I’m not going to try and argue with emotion…it clouds out all reason. Give me a solid, logical argument, and we can continue.
Matt. 19:9 Jesus says “except for fornication” the Gk (Strongs # 4202, harlotry (adultry or incest), figuratively Idolatry – fornicaton)
If Jesus meant only adultry why didn’t He use the word for adultry?
Sorry for the miss spelling of the word adultery. Of coarse in any close relationships we will have times when we may be short, cross, unattentive, angry, or whatever thus sinning. We repent and go on, thanking God for His grace to do better. But to imply that in an abusive relationship that the victim is always somewhat responsible through sin is ignornant of these types of relationships unless you believe that when someone is say mugged they commited some sin that helped cause that to happen. Please read on the behavior of abusers. They don’t need a reason in… Read more »
I agree with you Deborah.
Divorce is better than murder. Abuse involves the profoundest disrespect for the person and for God who ordained marriage. Usually is symptomatic of a deeper pathology, and there have been those pastors and churches who, due to the focus on no divorce idea, have encouraged wives to stay with abusers which resulted in their being murdered. The issue is not oneof emotions as some imagine; it is a matter of being able to discern the presence of a pathology which can lead to murder. Yes, God hates divorce, and probably no one hates divorce more than a victim of such… Read more »
Ben, You are right. You are in the minority position, but that has not always been the case. According to Gordon Wenham , in the first five centuries after Christ, all Greek and Latin writers except one(Ambrosiaster) saw that remarriage after divorce was adultery. The marriage bond was seen to unite both parties until the death of one of them. When a marriage partner was guilty of unchastity, usually understood to mean adultery, the other was expected to separate but did not have the right to remarry. I have studied this for years. as have others, and it seems to… Read more »
Ben, Don’t know if his position has changed, but John Piper agrees with your position in this paper of his….. from a 1986 position paper on divorce & remarriage by John Piper, these are his conclusions….can read full article here… http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/articles/divorce-remarriage-a-position-paper Conclusions and Applications In the New Testament the question about remarriage after divorce is not determined by: 1.The guilt or innocence of either spouse, 2.Nor by whether either spouse is a believer or not, 3.Nor by whether the divorce happened before or after either spouse’s conversion, 4.Nor by the ease or difficulty of living as a single parent for… Read more »
Kevin, The end of yourself post is full of grace and kindness. But once again you instruct, as someone else already did, that me must confess a divorce and/ remarriage as sin and ask forgiveness. HOW can you ask forgiveness for something you are not sorry for? Are we to lie to yourselves so that we can lie to God or just lie to God? There are consequences for everything we do not just sin. Sometimes it’s good consequences and sometimes bad. Because God is who He is He can certainly take our choices and creat very beautiful consequences. ie.… Read more »
Wow, Sorry everyone once again I didn’t read over my post before submitting it. I do apologize.
I shouldn’t even be posting in this blog, my beliefs are very different from the SBC.
So I will bid you ado.
God bless each one of you that you should ” prosper even as your soul prospers” Knowing who you are in Christ.
It is very easy to take the strict road on the issue of divorce and remarriage, forgetting the great evils perpetrated by some bent on wicked ways. It is also easy to focus in on only those sayings which seem to favor old Rome’s view of marriage, forgetting that even Rome couldn’t live with that and had annulments for those in the higher echelons of life. If God was so harsh on the issue as some seem to think, why then did He allow David to continue and have him called a Patriarch and a Prophet. Filters that recognize only… Read more »
Hi Deborah, Sorry if I miscommunicated…eveything after I gave the blog address in blue was John Piper’s work(ie comment #69). We should not use pragmatism to determine our theology, that is, though God has blessed you with a good life and a great daughter in no wise determines what the Scriptures say regarding God’s standard. I know that there are no winners in a divorce, and I would greatly prefer to take a different stand on divorce + remarriage given the widespread nature of it in this society. Obviously, both positions(remarriage, or no remarriage after divorce) are not correct, so… Read more »
Dr Willingham, It is obvious that you are a very well read and studied man. However, to glibly speak of man “excluding God for getting a divorce” in regards to Israel is a comment beneath you and certainly derogatory to our God. We are nothing before Him, and HIS holiness will make all of us fall before him with our face covered as did the prophets of old. God told all the kings of Israel about accumulating wives, especially pagan wives, but they ignored him and we can see the results. David had eight or ten wives and it seems… Read more »
Yes our theology should guide our life choices, but when our “theology” gets in the way of human compassion for a woman who is beaten, condemning her to a life that God doesn’t condemn her to,then it’s the “theology” that’s the problem.
God does allow for divorce and remarriage in certain instances. Deut. 24:1&2 as well as the passage in Matthew say this. God understands and has made a provision for those who have been hurt, abused, and wronged in marriage.
Kevin: Nothing derogatory to God was intended. On the contrary, I was attempting to point out how degrading such a view on divorce is to the God whom we worship, presenting as it does, such a narrow, restrictive perspective on God like that of the Pharisees, knowing nothing at all of His mercy and grace for sinners. God said it was better to marry than to burn. He also said, “Are you loosed (divorced?) from a wife, seek not a wife, but and if you marry, you do not sin.”(I Cors.7:27,28). Some people would condemn people to endless years of… Read more »
Consistently on this URL abuse is described as something men do to women and children. Right? At the time I left Iowa in the late 90’s, Iowa officials admitted that 56% of child abuse, including maiming and death, was committed by women, not men. And, of that 44% done by men, most was not done by the biological father, but by the men brought home by Mommy. I tried to talk to social workers who blamed ‘fathers’ for what was clearly a lover of the woman, not the father, and they said, “Well, to us he served as a father… Read more »