My first experience with task forces came 25 years ago while I was a Resident Assistant at the University of Texas. The Director of Residence Hall Housing selected several RA’s to serve on a task force addressing, if I recall, the subject of vandalism. We met a few times, made suggestions, shot most of them down and never really did anything. I was later informed by someone in the know that our task force was formed so the Director could say, whenever the subject came up: “I have formed a task force to look into this problem.”
It sounds decisive, no? A entire “force” of people were somewhere working on this “task.” Surely a “task force” is more than a mere “committee” or a “team” or a “group.” It is almost as powerful as a “board” or a “commission.” My own evaluation? We were not much of a force. And we never accomplished a task.
For what it’s worth, if I’m forming the task forces, here they are:
1. Pass Interference Task Force — it should be a reviewable call, but don’t slow the game down…speed the review up.
2. McRib Task Force — why does it come and go at McDonalds? Is there a shortage of pigs?
3. Street Sign Punctuation Task Force — why do “DONT WALK” lights omit the apostrophe?
4. Electoral College Task Force — what is the point of this tedious formality?
5. Missouri Alone Task Force — no institution calling its leaders “curators” deserves a conference!
6. Meal Status Update Task Force — anyone who posts what they ate on Facebook should be banned for life.
7. Computer Virus Task Force — virus creators should be locked in a room and forced to listen to Rebecca Black’s “Friday” continuously.
8. Rename Yankees Task Force — New York’s baseball team makes me think of a guy so dumb he calls a feather macaroni.
9. SEC Merger Task Force — combine the Securities and Exchange Commission with the Southeastern Conference, thus consolidating America’s shady finances.
10. Sanctuary Thermostat Task Force — just one Sunday, before Jesus returns, I want to lead worship without any complaints regarding the temperature.
Okay, SBC Voices, I know there is no shortage of opinions out there. Make the world a better place by naming your very own task force.