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Guaranteed to give foodies the heebie jeebies

October 28, 2018 by William Thornton

May I modestly offer my humble self as a BBQ connoisseur? Indeed, I am, though some close to me may tweak that term and say that I’m more of a BBQ consumptioneur…but what do they know?

I like most any kind of BBQ pork, and even beef if offered it, with most any kind of sauce. But pork ribs are the best, which brings me to the bane of foodies: Just in time for Halloween, McDonalds has reintroduced their magnificent McRib sandwich, and…

I. Love. It.

Had one last night as a matter of gastronomical fact.

“But that’s a fast food restaurant,” you sniff.

Doesn’t matter. In fact, the faster they get the McRib to me the better.

“But it’s some kind of processed, molded piece of meat and who knows what else.”

Who cares? It is delicious.

“But think of all the calories, all the fat calories.”

No. I’m not going to think about that and I’ve only read the nutrition info once in a fast food restaurant. Zaxbys had a milkshake that was over a thousand calories and I just couldn’t pull the trigger on that one. Gotta be gluttony.

I like the sandwich and am old enough not to be BBQ-shamed by anyone.

…which naturally brings me to church stuff.

There are some church practices that I hold in haughty disdain.

Like exaggerated alliteration in a sermon. So brother, you know your note-taking hearers are left with a strange outline that often replaces the truth of the text?

Like hymns played and sung at an absurdly lugubrious pace. “Even so come, Lord Jesus, because they will never finish this thing.”

Like the Lord’s Supper elements served in those peal-and-eat, prepackaged units. I don’t think Jesus did it like that.

Like the evangelist who adds a huff onto the end of every sentence.

Like the hipster church who advertises that “We’re not your daddy’s church.

Like the church near me who puts a honky tonk beat to hymns and that on an old upright piano that is deplorably out of tune. Cringeworthy.

So what? The Lord uses all of those and as long as Christ is preached, as long as the Gospel is preserved, as long as Jesus is honored…I’m OK with that. God bless and use them all.

I’d even say that about the pastor who offers an endless stream of quotes from obscure 17th century Puritans.

Hope you had a great Lord’s Day. Celebrate with a McRib…but don’t forget to bless it first.

________

Apply all the trademark symbols as needed for McDonalds and McRib.

 

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About William Thornton

William Thornton is a lifelong Southern Baptist and semi-retired pastor who served churches in South Carolina and Georgia. He is a graduate of the University of Georgia. You may find him occasionally on Twitter @wmgthornton.

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