You can drive a sparkling new Ford King Ranch, maybe $80-90,000 truck and turn it into a redneck truck if you fly a Confederate Flag. If you spend that much on a truck just to cruise around, you could fly an “I’m an idiot with too much money” flag.
If you have a gun rack and a bunch of deer stickers on the back window, you got yourself a redneck truck no matter what kind or how new it is.
Your humble hacker and plodder blogger came by his redneck pick-up honestly. No flags or stickers but dents on most every panel. Some of the trim fell off. I didn’t replace it. The half-doors don’t work, so I have to flip the seats up to get at my pile of junk in the back.
It’s a working truck in the sense that I take a flashlight, a couple of ratchet tie-downs, some Kevlar webbing for straps, a pair of binocs for any birds I might want to check out, a towel in case I go swimming somewhere, a Tyvek suit in case I have to crawl under a house. There may be other stuff back there but I haven’t dug through it in a while. Nothing seems to be moving under the pile, so I’m OK, I think. All the grandkids are accounted for.
Yeah, and the power windows don’t work. I pull up to the Chic-fil-A drive thru for a frosted lemonade and, boom!, I open my door to give the order. I do it slowly and apologize for it so as not to startle the young CFA worker who sees an old white guy about to exit his beat up truck. The nice young man or lady smiles and takes my order.
My 2000 Mazda 6 cylinder pulls good, not that I pull anything much other than a light trailer with a lawnmower on it. Trailer lights don’t work and I can’t figure out why, might have something to do with the windows, so I don’t want to get stopped and fined for about as much as the truck is worth. I stopped checking the gas mileage years ago. It was at about 15mpg and dropping. This $4.39 per gallon gas doesn’t work for me, Joe.
Oh, it uses water. Not a great thing in any vehicle. Looks like an expensive repair to me.
Did I mention that owning any kind of pick-up truck means your kids and friends will try and work you to death with it carrying their stuff, especially if you are retired?
So, “bye, bye” beloved truck. Make some kid a good starter vehicle. Oh, no kid would be caught dead in a truck like mine. Things have changed.
Maybe I’ll buy one of them new all-electric pick-ups, Elon. There is no possible way to turn an electric truck into a redneck truck.
Hey! Notice the very cool frosted headlights. Took quite some time to get there.
And, Bart Barber, Texan sundowner cattle rancher and SBC prez, the closest any cow came to my truck was, uh huh, at CFA. ‘Moooo’ and ‘Eat mor chickin’
And, BTW, that truck alone would qualify me for the deaconate at most rural SBC churches.