Don’t take it personally, but…
The AC system. The messengers from the North Pole were quite comfortable. Wise pastors know you can never win the thermostat wars. Just shut up and suffer whether it’s too hot or too cold.
Paige Patterson. We didn’t have to go through all this. I suspect it’s not over.
Committee on Order of Business. Sure, I get that they were put in an impossible position by Steve Gaines shuffling the VP’s self-invitation off to them but when a motion was made that might have uninvited him, the chair had to belt out a sermonette on why it was biblical for the SBC to host a politician. Not a great moment. Gaines appointed the committee, so they more or less had to take the incoming over the VP and now you know who these people were walking around all battered and bruised.
Militant Trads. Got waxed every which way during the week. Many of us agree with some of their goals but the strategies have been appallingly ill-conceived.
Tinfoil hat conspiratorialists. These should have spent the week at Dealey Plaza, not the convention hall or meeting rooms.
Brad Jurkovich. Come on, bro. You had a month to work on the nominating speech and a great guy like Ken Hemphill gave you an abundance of positive things to work with. So, why do something as tone deaf and say, “This election cannot be about one candidate’s act of grace two years ago,”? That and the line that Hemphill was “God’s gift to the SBC” were dreadful. No harm, though. He never had a chance.
Greg Abbott. The Texas governor welcomed us, and welcomed us, and welcomed us, and welcomed us. Just do it and be done with it, governor. Waaaaaay too long. The COB needs a better plan. Something like, “Governor, we’re giving you five minutes. You can take an extra five if you agree to void all the parking tickets for us. After that, we bring out Rev. Jack Reacher.
Mike Pence. I like him. I would vote for him. He had political buttons to push (abortion, Planned Parenthood, Gorsuch, Johnson amendment, etc.) and he pushed them. Should have gone up the street to Jeffress’ church and done it there.
Tom Hatley. Had his hat handed to him by the messengers. But this is our system. Anyone can make such a motion.
Albert Einstein. Time is relative. It just never seemed to end in half a dozen cases. Something to remember: if you aren’t preaching the convention sermon, don’t preach a sermon.
Wi-Fi. Somebody oughta do something. Sell a few of the AC units and put the money into free wi-fi.
Dave Ramsey. Preached one of the many convention sermons and I’m a big fan of his and have used his stuff. Like him, I’m also a greedy capitalist pig. But his infomercial was a bit much. Don’t think my opinion matters much here, though. Beth Moore should demand the same treatment as DR got.
Al Mohler. [Let’s go with ‘weird.’ Loser is a little too sharp for AM] Really? In this #metoo environment, the Smartest Man in the SBC is talking about fecund females at SBTS. The fertility rate on campus was not exactly the word needed for the moment.
The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. Seems the principle complementarianism means different things. That’s no way to run a railroad. We’re going to have to work this business out one of these days. I did catch a meeting of the CMBW while at the convention. Photo in my comment below on this topic.
Tea. Exhibitors take a hint. Drop the iced coffee and offer some iced tea. If we have the convention in Seattle, you can go back to the iced coffee. This is the South. Tea.
There are more…you can add them. See you in Birmingham. Try and do better there.
Editor’s Note: William is now on Twitter. You can find him here.