Social media has been atwitter with discussions and even arguments about the true color of this dress. Scientific discussions have been offered as to why some people see a blue and black dress and others see a white and tan dress.
I think there might be a few other explanations that have been ignored heretofore. My curiosity was piqued by a tweet I read by Dustin Lair. He said,
I figured out the dress thing. Bruce Willis was dead the whole time.
Now that made sense. It is a spoiler if you haven’t watched the movie, but it’s been out since 1999, so that is your problem.
I began to ruminate on this. Friends (if you can call them that) have said I’m a little too absorbed in this, but I think the mystery needs to be solved. Here are the current theories. Maybe you can add a few.
- Obama concocted this in his secret bunker to hide the fact that he is about to take over and destroy the internet with the help of Marty Duren, the FCC, and net neutrality. There are rumors that Marty is actually the person wearing the dress.
- The dress is made of Soylent Green. (Look it up, young whippersnappers).
- In just the right light (and perhaps with the aid of the right glasses), a map to Templar treasure becomes visible.
- George W. Bush did it. There’s no proof, but he gets blamed for everything else!
- I decided against any kind of theory that involves Monica Lewinsky. Because NO!
- Sown into the stripes are the missing 18 minutes of Nixon’s Watergate tapes. Again, whippersnappers, google it.
- This is what happened when Neo swallowed the blue pill.
- The dress was worn by the lady in the babushka on the grassy knoll.
- The dress is actually a Common Core math problem gone so far awry that it came to life.
- This is what Brian Williams is doing now that he is no longer making up the news.
You have any credible theories? They are unwelcome. But anything stupid and outlandish would be appreciated.
