Social media has been atwitter with discussions and even arguments about the true color of this dress. Scientific discussions have been offered as to why some people see a blue and black dress and others see a white and tan dress.
I think there might be a few other explanations that have been ignored heretofore. My curiosity was piqued by a tweet I read by Dustin Lair. He said,
I figured out the dress thing. Bruce Willis was dead the whole time.
Now that made sense. It is a spoiler if you haven’t watched the movie, but it’s been out since 1999, so that is your problem.
I began to ruminate on this. Friends (if you can call them that) have said I’m a little too absorbed in this, but I think the mystery needs to be solved. Here are the current theories. Maybe you can add a few.
- Obama concocted this in his secret bunker to hide the fact that he is about to take over and destroy the internet with the help of Marty Duren, the FCC, and net neutrality. There are rumors that Marty is actually the person wearing the dress.
- The dress is made of Soylent Green. (Look it up, young whippersnappers).
- In just the right light (and perhaps with the aid of the right glasses), a map to Templar treasure becomes visible.
- George W. Bush did it. There’s no proof, but he gets blamed for everything else!
- I decided against any kind of theory that involves Monica Lewinsky. Because NO!
- Sown into the stripes are the missing 18 minutes of Nixon’s Watergate tapes. Again, whippersnappers, google it.
- This is what happened when Neo swallowed the blue pill.
- The dress was worn by the lady in the babushka on the grassy knoll.
- The dress is actually a Common Core math problem gone so far awry that it came to life.
- This is what Brian Williams is doing now that he is no longer making up the news.
You have any credible theories? They are unwelcome. But anything stupid and outlandish would be appreciated.
I guess we should include Worley’s previous theory that this is a LifeWay conspiracy to introduce a curriculum.
🙂
I don’t have any theories regarding the dress, but I do have an allegorical observation. The dress has been found to be blue and black. The questionable photo is overexposed. The disagreement is between subjective interpretations of a bad photo. It sounds like the subjective way we argue over the Bible when we have objective information to go by.
It’s Calvin’s fault! It’s a maniacal plot by the Evil minions who adhere to the theology he espoused-
The diabolical strategy of this group is to confuse and confound the opposition as they covertly take over the Southern Baptist Convention.
(Starting with the SBC pastors conference)
Exactly! That is volfan’s very concern about Lifeway’s black and blue study on the heels of The Gospel Project. I’m already black and blue just thinking about it (or white and gold, depending on how you look at it). If all the speakers show up at the Pastor’s Conference in black suits and blue ties, the subliminal message will be powerful to the YRR attendees!
If the speakers show up in collard shirts and a jacket with no tie – or a collared shirt no jacket or tie – then the YRR Will know that it’s time to initiate the secret plan.
Yeah it’ll be really funny if they show up in vegetable shirts.
Tarheel, it’s not helping to drag collard greens into this mess! The YRR don’t have any secret plans – they have been very open about their ambitions. It was SBC’s OldRR who were conducting a quiet revolution. Makes me black and blue just thinking about it.
Lol.
I agree with Max to leave collards out of this. They have done nothing to anyone except show up on plates across the South and perform their tasteful function every time.
And the YRR can’t be behind this. They would have chosen a Black and Tan theme.
Collard Greens are nasty – and they stink up the house!
And that’s The opinion of this southern boy.
Tarheel,
I completely agree with you about collard greens.
From another Southern boy.
David
Tarheel, I bet you don’t like polk salad either. As a child, I picked cotton (dating myself). We used purple polk berries to write our name on our cotton sacks. The berries were supposedly poisonous, but my parents picked the fresh tender leaves of that plant to boil down in bacon grease – had the consistency of spinach. Went well with ham & beans, cornbread, and fried taters … a coronary delight! I fear that my Southern roots are showing … a true “Southern” Baptist from the crib.
I can agree with you about the white beans and cornbread and fried taters….all swallowed down with sweet tea….yuuuuuuuuum yum.
But, I’m with Tarheel about greens. Yuck. I even hate to smell them cooking.
David
Agreed volfan. I would rather have fried okra than polk greens, with fried catfish steaks (not fillets) on the side. (This food thread is a whole lot better than talking about dresses … what was Dave thinking?!)
Guy,
Y’all are in serious danger of losing significant Southern points with these disparaging remarks about collards.
My momma made collards I don’t know how any human could refuse. And Eva’s Kitchen, a double wide trailer restaurant in Clayton, Alabama, has collards that will put momma’s collards to shame. That along with Eva’s fried chicken, corn bread and sweet tea. And yams.
🙂
This whole thing has had me in stitches. Soooo … I suppose the llamas weren’t white and black?
I’m not sure what Fernando Llamas’ racial background is. Does it matter?
(Was that going too far?)
I resemble that remark! You obviously missed news of the Arizona llama drama … I suppose the dress dwarfed that headline in the Iowa media. No racial slur intended.
What amazed me is that evidently, from what I’ve read, people had knock down, drag out, social media fights about this.
Just to make clear, Dave… us young whippersnappers don’t have to look up soylent green since Futurama spoofed it. That brought it back into cultural relevance Matt Groening style.
No, but watching Futurama probably set your sanctification back a year or two.
After 2+ decades of the simpsons… I’m probably in pretty bad shape anyway…
And South Park.
Not my style
Shouldn’t be anyone’s.
What dress?
Consider yourself blessed.
I started a small argument this morning When I asked three teenaged girls what color the dress was – LOL.
We all agreed on one thing though it’s ridiculous to be “arguing” over the color of a dress.
Robert actually is the one who started the whole discussion, I bet.
Say “no” to the dress.
Color psychology is an interesting field, to which those in marketing are well aware. Interesting photographs demonstrating the variation of a single color depending on its context can be found in Shevell and Kingdom’s Color in Complex Scenes in the 2008 Annual Review of Psychology. Although not a part of the article, such raises questions about other areas of existence as to how stimuli may be perceived in light of the particular vantage point of the individual. Seems more and more that what we refer to as reality is more complex and mysterious than we ever thought.