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The official Voices guide to the Georgia senatorial runoff races and the fate of all humanity

November 15, 2020 by William Thornton

Since the other Voices team members live in solidly Democratic states like Virginia and others are in foreign countries like Iowa and Indiana, it falls to me to write the official and definitive SBC Voices guide to the Georgia senatorial runoff races, the two contests that will determine the fate of the nation, yea, of all humanity.

Here’s where we stand and why the two remaining elections are so important:

Republican seats in the U. S. Senate: 50

Democratic seats in the U. S. Senate: 48

Georgia has two Republican senators who are fighting for reelection. If the Dems win them both they will tie this thang up, 50/50 and the nice lady in the white suit, VP Kamala Harris, gets a vote and makes the Dems a majority. Biden president, Democratic House of Representatives, and the Senate. Presto: Democratic steamroller cranks up.

Here’s what you need to know about the Georgia runoff.

You have to have a majority vote to get elected in this state. Senator Purdue only got 49.71%. Some Libertarian no one ever heard of bled off enough votes to thwart a Republican win. In the other race there was a “jungle primary” election  with eight Democratic candidates, six Republican candidates, four independent candidates, a Green Party guy, a Libertarian Party guy, and an independent write-in guy. Who invented this mess? I believe it was dumb Republicans in this state.

The only candidates that mattered in the jungle primary were sitting Republican senator Kelly Loeffler, Doug Collins, Republican Georgia congressman, and top Democratic candidate, Rev. Raphael Warnock. Warnock got 33%, Loeffler, 26%, and Collins, 20%. Warnock and Loeffler in a runoff.

Republican Purdue vs Democrat Ossoff

Purdue, rich old white guy, is a businessman who has a degree from a trade school in Atlanta. CEO of Dollar General and other companies, worth around $15 million. That’s enough to be comfortable but not enough to shovel dollars into your own campaign.

Jon Ossoff is an investigative reporter, formerly called “muckraker.” I mean, a name with two “Os”, two “Ss”, and two “Fs” couldn’t be electable anywhere in the south, could he? Seems he is. I figured he was from Lithuania or somewhere. Turns out he was born in Atlanta. More than most Democrats he’s the darling of Silicon Valley, Hollywood, New Yawk and east coast liberals, and pointy-headed academicians. Probably secretly drinks Pepsi and is ambivalent about the SEC.

Republican Loeffler vs Democrat Warnock

Loeffler is an extremely rich white lady with estimated net worth of $165 million. She can drop a few million of her own in the campaign. She was appointed by Georgia governor Brian Kemp, he of the extremely thick southern accent, earlier this year.

Warnock is African American, pastor of the historic and strategic Ebenezer Baptist Church, formerly pastored by Martin Luther King, Sr. and co-pastored by Martin Luther King, Jr. I saw ten thousand attack ads against Collins and Loeffler because they were slugging it out to be in the runoff. Didn’t see one ad against Warnock.

Money, money, money

There’s nothing going on in politics right now except for Trump supporters baying at the moon, so all attention is on the two Georgia runoff elections. Money is pouring into the race. I’ve seen estimates that $1 billion dollars will have been spent on this before it’s over. Pimply faced Silicon Valley CEOs are writing big checks. Hollywood moguls are doing the same. My mailbox was already stuffed with political mail. Now, a second round during Christmas. Woo hoo. I don’t see how there is enough television, radio air time to consume a billion dollars.

Ugly, ugly, ugly

There’s not much more about Jon Ossoff that David Purdue can say that wasn’t said in the general election. He’s a curly-haired thirty something. Doesn’t have a lifetime of crime and scandal to draw on.

Warnock has already been slammed as pastor of the church that hosted Fidel Castro and praised him, in 1995. Seems Warnock was a lowly assistant pastor at the time. Warnock will have a ton of sermons to be examined. He’s already linked to “G* D* America!” pastor Jeremiah Wright. Warnock is intelligent and a formidable person. He has, no joke, admitted to eating pizza with a fork and one time he stepped on a crack in the sidewalk. Memo to Loeffler: dodge a debate.

Important, important, important

So, the Dems win the two seats and Biden/Pelosi/Schumer have no check on what they can do.

Here’s the Biden cabinet if Dems control the Senate and approve his choices:

Treasury: Karl Marx

Commerce: Friedrich Engels

Homeland Security: Emma Goldman

State: Mao Zedong

Education:  Jimmy Carter

Interior: Greta Thunberg

Labor: Ida Tarbell

Health and Human Services: Ezekiel Emanuel

Agriculture: John Mackey

Defense:  Not needed

Attorney General: James Comey

Energy: Mr. Sunshine

HUD: Tom Thumb

(I was given this list by some Q-anon peeps. Don’t doubt it.)

I’m voting for…

Loeffler and Purdue, the Republicans. I’ll mail it in, touch the screen, mark the ballot or whatever it takes.

They win and we end up with that holiest of holy grail political results: DIVIDED GOVERNMENT, the cure for a lot of public policy problems. The worthies actually have to compromise and work with each other. Hallelujah and Amen!

________________

If the November election was a turkey, we can have something better in January.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About William Thornton

William Thornton is a lifelong Southern Baptist and semi-retired pastor who served churches in South Carolina and Georgia. He is a graduate of the University of Georgia. You may find him occasionally on Twitter @wmgthornton.

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