Author’s note: It’s a joke, folks. Just being silly.
13. Heresy: There’s an App for That
12. Biblical Proof that Potato Salad, Fried Chicken, and Moon Pies are Unclean Foods
11. IMB Announces End to Lottie Moon Offering: “We’ve got enough money for now…Thanks!”
10. Baptist Men Sue for Right to Join WMU
9. Preachers Win Court Case: Can Now Wiretap Your Phone, then Preach Sermons Aimed Directly at You
8. Lottie Moon was a Calvinist
7. Youth Directors Resign En Masse; Stunned Parents Now Required to be Involved with Their Youth
6. Ergun Caner, Richard Land to Jointly Pen Ethics Book
5. New IMB Rules: Applicants Must Run Mile in 5:30, Fit Through Eye of Needle
4. IMB, NAMB Missionaries Found to be Holier than You
3. Westboro Baptist Church Admitted to Convention
2. Korean Missionaries Celebrate Arrival in Spiritually Dark Land: The American South
1. Lost Pauline Epistle Includes Recipe for Mulled Wine